Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because it was dead.
I accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles the other day... I'm afraid when they finally pass it will spell disaster.
Sent from my XT907 using Tapatalk 2
Joke: Rex Ryan and the NY Jets
What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The captain's log.
Why did Captain Kirk pee on the ceiling?
He wanted to go where no man had gone before.
I read the other day they raised another 2 Million Dollars for the Ronald McDonald house.
Just how big of a house does this F***ing Clown need, anyway?
(RIP, Drake Sather)
my all time favorite jackie martling gem:
what the toughest part about having sex with your own sister?
pulling her little diapers to the side
A bloke was standing at a bar, and a beautiful woman was beside him, so he leans over and says,
"You remind me of my little toe."
She replies, "What? You Mean I'm small and cute?"
He says, "No. I’ll probably bang you on the coffee table later when I'm drunk."