How many times have you walked into your mens room at work and immediately felt the need to retch? For me, too many.
How about a courtesy flush, you crap hoarder?
Yes I know a courtesty flush does not remove crap fumes from the air...but at least it removes the pile of turds from contact with air.
Well today I have smoten many coworkers with my epic leavings.
I have severe back pain at times which at least gives me the benefit of being able to take pain killers when needed, its a much better alternative than back surgery. Of course we all know the side effects is getting constipated so I have to try to get extra fiber in order to get rid of it.
It doesn't work all the time. When you're going on 3-4 days of the most rancid farts imaginable, you know when that poop train leaves the station, you better be ready. Today was that day.
I hate the mens room. I dont like having to pee or take a dump alongside people. I hate it even more when Im trying to pee and some 7 foot Sasquatch looking dude ambles up next to me and goes to pee as well. With that kind of height advantage, you know he's checking out your junk.
Anyway today was an epic dump. It cleared the waterline and just kept on going. I wanted to see how big I could get the pile so I didnt flush.
Needless to say as soon as people entered, no one actually said anything, but you could hear people start coughing, and people 'doing their business' at a much quicker pace.
I could have swore I saw some guy go down on one knee as he struggled against the effects of asphyxiation.
Anyway, 30 minutes later and both of my legs were numb from sitting on the terlet for so long, I figured it was time to go.
I was going to take a picture with my phone, but the damn auto-flush activated. From the different colors of the crap, you could almost tell that it divided by certain meals, almost like reading the rings on a tree.
Did you know that Captain Crunch Berries makes your poop turn green?
Anyway, I just figured I'd share...