The phrase “secretary shall” appears 1,005 times
Kathleen Sebelius is the U.S. Secretary of Health and Human Services.
A text search of the document shows that the phrase “secretary shall” appears 1,005 times.
Let’s take a look at some examples.
The first instance of the phrase appears as, “the Secretary shall ensure that access to needed services is made available with a minimal impact on premiums.”
Wow! Just that one instance is, in itself, a huge responsibility.
There are thousands of different medical services, and there are 300 million people who receive those medical services. And yet somehow, Sebelius has enough time to handle all of that. And not just the time, but also the necessary knowledge to make sure that all of those 300 million people get all of the health care services that they need, and without causing too much of a rise in premiums. She must be like some kind of superhero!
Soon afterwards, the health care law says, “The Secretary shall, by regulation, provide for the development of standards for the definitions of terms used in health insurance coverage.”
Even for someone with a medical degree, that would be an overwhelming task, as there are thousands upon thousands of medical terms whose definitions would need to be provided.
But Sebelius does not even have a medical degree. She is not a doctor. She is not a nurse. She doesn’t even change patients’ bedpans. Her degrees are in political science and public administration. So she’s not a medical worker – she’s a bureaucrat.
It goes on to say, “The Secretary shall promulgate regulations for enforcing the provisions of this section and may provide for appropriate penalties.”
She gets to decide the penalties that people get for not doing what Obamacare tells them to do?
That’s interesting. I had always thought that the Constitution required such penalties to be passed by Congress and then signed by the President. I had no idea that a single, unelected bureaucrat could decide what kinds of penalties 300 million citizens could be subjected to.
It later says, “The Secretary shall award grants to States.”
Wow! Sebelius must be a gazillionaire to have all that money!
Oh, wait – it’s not her money. The money that she will be giving to the states will be coming from… the states! Ah yes, there’s nothing like sending our money to Washington D.C. so the bureaucrats can deduct a substantial percentage for “administrative” costs and then hand the meager leftovers back to the very states from which it had come in the first place.
It goes on to say,”The Secretary shall establish… procedures to protect against waste, fraud, and abuse.”
Oh goody! When I want to make sure that something doesn’t contain waste, fraud, and abuse, I always look to the government first.
It then states, “the Secretary shall seek to reduce the number and complexity of forms (including paper and electronic forms) and data entry required by patients and providers.”
Note that it doesn’t actually say she will do any of those things. Instead, it says she will “seek” to do those things. So perhaps she will be slightly less busy than what I had originally thought.
Besides, if the paperwork related to health care is as short, simple, and easy to understand as the paperwork related to the tax code, I’m sure it won’t be a problem for anyone. Nothing to worry about here.
Later on it says, “The Secretary shall determine the number of covered lives under a health plan based upon the most recent statements and filings that have been submitted by such plan to the Securities and Exchange Commission.”
Great! So not only does Sebelius get to determine how many human lives will be able to receive coverage, she will also be assisted by the Securities and Exchange Commission, which, as we all know, is composed of trustworthy nuns, doctors, pharmacists, and other people whom the public holds in the highest esteem.
Good job, Moonbats!