Overly Solicitous Wait Staff
Wife and kids took me out for dinner for my birthday tonight and we got one of those overly solicitous waitresses/waiters (in this case a she). Man I hate that ****. You know the ones where they fawn all over you, work way too hard at acting like your enjoyment is their sole reason in life. Describe the specials to a degree and with so many adjectives that it's ad nauseum. It's funny to me cuz maybe they think by being "so engaged" they're giving you outstanding service and deserving the big tip but to me it's actually the reverse--sucky service. For one thing, they become so much of a hovering presence they actually impinge upon the meal and make it uncomfortable. For another, I'm not there to get chatty and engage with you as wait staff. This moron chick kept referring to Mrs. B as "Milady" and me as "Good Sir." Man by the time the appetizers came I wanted to ****ing donkey punch the *****. Then there's the in addition to their behavior ****ing up your meal, you know they're only doing it in the first place cuz they're so tip conscious. Except you want to say ""Ya I know you want 20+% and I'd give it to you if you'd just back the **** off, stop being such an obvious greedy mother****er, and ****ing up my birthday dinner with these stupid little jokes and conversational asides that nobody thinks are funny. Bad enough paying the "summer menu prices": $25 for six shrimp + spaghetti noodles and white sauce. You're a waitress. Serve the food and STFU. Encounter these types the most in "tourist" type scenarios...(the Vineyard, Sante Fe, Stowe, or in this case Marblehead, MA).
Also I bought my freshwater fishing license this afternoon so I could take my son fishing in Maine. Convenience fee? WTF is convenience fee?