dealin' out shithands
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Join Date: Sep 2006
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My only regret so far is that Lydia died somewhere in the Falmer-infested Dwemer Ruins undernearth Markarth. I went back to look for her, but I only found a couple of weapons I had given to her, and nothing else. Now I feel like a turd for leaving her behind...
Anyway it reminded me of this -
What Skyrim Taught Me About My Love Life
Posted on January 15, 2012 by Digirette
This post should actually be entitled ďWhy Lydia kicks the **** out of every girl I have ever gone out with. Ever.Ē
For those that donít know Lydia is a character in a Game named Skyrim. Itís part of the Elder Scrolls Series and just won Game of the Year 2011. Itís a great game. The graphics are fantastic, and itís really immersive. But Iím not here to review the game. Iím not even really a gamer.
I used to play first person shooters like Rogue Spear and Call of Duty back in the day but havenít gamed for a while but I thought what the **** and I got Skyrim to pass some time since I am now focused on training for a race and trying not to party so much. Living in L.A. thatís sometimes a tall order. The reason I tell you this is because I am trying to convey that I am NOT a gamer (although after Skyrim that fact is certainly debatable. Ok, who am I kidding, after Skyrim I am definitely a gamer) and this article is not about gaming (but it kinda is).
This article is about a guy who is still single even though he has a full head of hair, is in good shape, has a nice place, a good job and not ugly. In other words, single by choice.
I have often wondered about this. Why am I still single? I mean jesus, Iíve never even been engaged. I came close once. I gave her a puppy instead of a ring. I figured it would be pretty tough for her to be really mad at me while holding a puppy. I was only half right
Now, ususally my answer to this question comes back, ďBecause youíre having too much fun.Ē or ďYou travel too much.Ē or ďMaybe youíre just immature and selfish.Ē All of these answers Iím generally OK with. But recently a new answer came back. A very strange one. ĒBecause you havenít found your Lydia.Ē Now again, for those that donít know Lydia is a character in a game. See, After you do a favor for this bigshot (The Jarl) in the town of Whiterun you are given a follower. Lydia. Sheís a fellow warrior who is beholden to you and goes on all your adventures with you and is, ďSworn to carry your burdens.Ē
At first she was just kinda handy. Another sword in the battle. But as time went on I started to realize that the battle, well that was my life and having another sword is pretty ****ing awesome in the battle of life. And let me tell you, the ***** does not shy away from mixing it up. She will ****ing RUN into battle, for you. WHAT? Wait a minute bro.. youíre talking crazy. A chick that fights for you? Címon man you live in fantasy land. Exactly. Maybe itís because I live in L.A. and a lot of my friends are in the business and the only women that I really meet and date are actresses and model types, maybe itís because for the most part L.A. woman expect their role in a relationship to be a passive one because their heads have been filled with princess fairy tales of being swept off their feet. Maybe they are just inherently passive creatures, maybe they are just too busy keeping their own heads above water. I donít ****ing know.
But what I do know is that Lydia is a ****ing warrior. And I want a ****ing warrior. I want a chick that when I ****ing grab my sword, so does she, without question. I engage a target, she engages a target. No hesitation.
Now hereís were things really get twisted. I am generally not a mushy guy who buys **** for girls because they want it to feel loved. I donít cater to emotional extortion. I am pragmatic, sensible and donít really feel I have to buy **** for girls so they are happy. Birthdays, Valentines etc. are excluded of course. With Lydia however I found myself buying her all sorts of ****. I wanted to make sure that this chick had the absolute best of everything. The best armor, the best weapons, potions, whatever. Anything that would help protect her. Now keep in mind that in the game she canít really die. From other characters. She just takes a knee till she regains strength and then itís back on. She gets up and starts swinging that ****ing Ebony axe screaming **** like ďNow youíll pay!Ē Sexy right? But there is one character in the game that CAN kill her.
Me. I am the only one that can hurt her and itís ****ing permanent. And let me tell you I have ****ing killed Lydia quit a few times. A battle is raging, I am trading blows with some opponent or another and BAM Lydia comes charging in between us and catches my steel and drops to the ground. You donít even notice really at the times until the battle is over and the are bodies everywhere. That is until you look around and there is no one looking back. See you get used to sharing the feeling of accomplishment post battle. You start scanning the bodies until the horrific truth is revealed. There she is. Dead. And you know she didnít die in battle. It was you. You ****ing killed her. Too focused on you and not even remotely concerned with where she was. Thereís a lesson in there.
Now the first couple of times it happened I would restart the game because I needed the extra help in killing ****. But as the game went on and I got more powerful I didnít NEED her anymore. I wanted her there. When she died I would restart the game at the last place she was alive and go through whatever it was all over again because I wanted her there. The game of Skyrim had become about US battling our way though it. Why us? Because she earned that place. To continue without her was to diminish all she did in the early part of the game. Was she necessary? Yes and no. There was no quest I couldnít handle on my own so I didnít need her in terms of fighting but she was necessary for my game life. Sometimes during a fight I would just sit back and watch Lydia battle it out and Iím not gonna lie, it was with pride. The loss of Lydia would have been a tough one and running around through the world of Skyrim without her would have been sad.
I even used a console command to unlock the marriage dialogue so I could marry Lydia in the game. I bought a house. I had it decorated. When I came across jewels and such I gave them to her. And not to buy her affection, that was unwavering, but because I wanted her to have them. She deserved them. She deserved every luxury I could get my hands on. Why? I knew she didnít need them. Then I realized I didnít give them to her for her. I gave them to her for me. By the wayÖ itís not a good idea to tell a girl you are seeing in real life any of this. Yes real life women can get jealous of fake make believe women. The phrase, ďOh sure youíll marry stupid Lydia in your stupid game but wonít come with me toÖĒ You get the point. There was even a time when I was playing and screamed out ďGod dammit Lydia!Ē and I heard from the couch, ďGood, I hope that ***** is dead.Ē
Now I know this sounds dumb to some because I am talking about a ****ing game here but I started to think about why am I treating the character Lydia different than I treat a lot of the women I go out with. I mean why is it that I want Lydia with me in the game and I would rather be single in real life. So as I asked myself these questions I started thinking and here Ďs what I came up with.
Lydia has my ****ing back. I know this. And goddamn thatís ****ing hot. KNOWING that a chick has your back. Whether you are right or wrong, whether she agrees or not, she has your back. You start fighting, she starts fighting. Team. Iím not talking like a mindless drone either. You break into a place she letís you know. Usually with the phrase, ďYouíre NOT supposed to be in here.Ē But if **** goes down she fights. Pretty awesome right? Goddamn right.
So now the bar is set in my real life and Iím pretty clear about it. I a
m and always have been looking for my Lydia. My teammate. My fellow warrior. A bad ass chick who is willing to fight along side me at whatever the cost. Because itís US against THEM. Now so far I havenít found that. Close but no cigar. Maybe I have been looking in the wrong places, maybe I havenít really been open to it, maybe itís so rare that guys no longer think that it exists, maybe itís just L.A. I mean what guy wouldnít want that. Arm candy is easy. Itís everywhere. Itís worthless.
I want my real life Lydia.