[BushyTheBeaver]

Currently trying to book a last minute vacation in Maine. Don't want coastal cuz I already live on the ocean. Every bleeping rental still available has a description like this:

"Get away from it all! Let the magic of Lake Webb seduce you. Relax on the spacious covered porch while taking in the beautiful lake with the mountains beyond. Swim out front or stroll down the lane to our sandy beach. The spacious living room with its huge stone fireplace warms you on a cool night, and marshmallows never tasted better. There is plenty to do—climb up Tumbledown where you can see for miles, tennis, golf, biking, and fishing. As you close out your day you may hear that lonely sound of the loon—they love it here too!"


Know what? **** loons! They suck dick. They keep you up at night. Wake you up early. And if you're fishing and there's a loon nearby give up cuz they hang around you like a homeless person begging change and eat anything you hook. I would pay a few bucks extra to someplace that lets you just shoot the mother****ers. Loons have become to Maine lakes what deer have become to the northeast suburbs or seals to Cape Cod...essentially giant rats that need to be killed.