[Borgoguy]

True story: I was "with" (inside would be more accurate) a chick once who was completely boring during coitus. I mean, I had achieved--and maintained--a state of turgidity, but couldn't wait to get out of there (literally and literally).

After she had orgasmed a few times, it was my turn. No joke, I sped up my rhythm, stopped abruptly, and made my phallus pulse a few times to simulate ejaculation. As I was wearing a condom, she never knew of my acting acumen. Needless to say, I never knew her again in the biblical sense.