So I'm in my mid 20's, summer vacation, fly down to Malaga, Spain to meet up with a buddy and his gf. They come to pick me up at the airport and we go straight to the strip along the beach loaded with bars and clubs.
Outside the bars they sold
litrons which was basically vodka with lime juice...served in a 1 liter glass.
We have 1, then a second and a third.
By that time feeling gooood. Hits some clubs and have a few beers, then go out for a breather ...and another
litron.
That's when things started to go fuzzy. My buddy was a huge Scot and barely flinched, while the skinny French dude was spraying chunks everywhere. They bring me back, head out the window, covering the door in puke. Get to the house, repaint the flowers in puke..and pass out. On a side note, no matter how drunk I am, I'm always able to take out my contact lenses without losing them. Speak, no. Take out precious item from eyeball, yes.
The house belonged to my buddy's gf's parents. I'd never met them before.
Next morning I wake up on a mattress in a bedroom. My buddy and gf asleep on the bed next to me.
Then I notice something's not right, something's between my legs that wasn't there before (yeah yeah).
o
m
g
In my misfortune, I was extremely lucky that I'd delivered a perfectly solid doot that somehow was still in my boxer shorts. No leakage.
I get up, holding my shorts tightly so nothing dribbles out. and take a peak outside. Perfect... direct view on the kitchen where the mother preparing breakfast.
So:
Doot in my shorts
Buddy and gf asleep next to me
unkown house (where the f*ck is the bathroom)
door guarded by mother I haven't met yet
I slip out, turn left and go into the first door which thank God was a bathroom. I dump everything in the toilet, take a shower allthewhile realizing I'm leaving little smudges of sh*t everywhere...
Finally make it out, say hello to everyone, and pulled it off.
Later in the afternoon I noticed someone had put my mattress outside to get some air.