Very sorry for your loss.
To pick up on your point: I was reading a blog post by this Australian hospice nurse, a woman who had spent 12 years taking care of patients in the last few weeks of their lives.
She was talking about what people regret at the very end of their lives and the #1 thing - the one she said every male patient she took care of brought up - was they wished they had spent more time around their kids and family.
It's something to think about. The thing we do control is how we spend the lives we have. I for one - and I used to feel differently - am never going to feel bad about taking time to be with my kids or family.