A separated Husband : OT - Jets Insider.com Forums

papichango · 02-02-2006, 10:37 AM

Dear Connie,

I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact.

In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back! To me! I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: “There is no one like you, Connie.” I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close.

Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice-skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn’t believe and an *** that just wouldn’t quit. Every man’s dream, right? But as I lay on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I’m getting at? Does it make her a between person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little. Later, after I’d tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there to watch. Do you know what I mean?

Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we’re banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart’s a total monster in the sack; she’s giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so that we can watch ourselves.

And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy?”

Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good advice about you and about woman in general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we’re doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here’s this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky’s really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

If you feel the same, please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the ****ing remote is?

Love, Dan

NoJokeJets · 02-02-2006, 10:44 AM

Dump.

What is this, Dr. Phil's web-site?

Ha Ha Ha · 02-02-2006, 10:46 AM

I have no doubt that this is for real.

But, damn funny.

P.S. www.loveshack.org is message board for this type of crap. And BTW, it quite possibly rivals JI in terms of membership, posts and threads. So go there with your sob story.

WestCoastOffensive · 02-02-2006, 10:51 AM

Sorry for your suffering. Women are so...what's the word...

I am just so shocked, at the callous way your estranged wife acts.

I hope that you will put the pieces of *** together, one at time.

The Crusher · 02-02-2006, 10:55 AM

Good luck with it man. You might want to leave the "Hustler letter" description out next time. If all fails you can always buy another remote.

Jetfan16 · 02-02-2006, 04:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fifty one

Good luck with it man. You might want to leave the "Hustler letter" description out next time. If all fails you can always buy another remote.

are you serious? this letter is a joke, obviously he found it on the internet or something, lmfao.

papichango · 02-02-2006, 06:59 PM

It's a joke people.

Man you folks are too darn tight.

Mean Bro Green · 02-27-2006, 04:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by papichango

It's a joke people.

Man you folks are too darn tight.

did people actually read that and think it was from you???/

lmao

papichango · 02-27-2006, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mean Bro Green

did people actually read that and think it was from you???/

lmao

Yeah, amazing.

Xmarco · 03-01-2006, 10:00 PM

Oh that **** was funny

LIDeadHead · 03-02-2006, 12:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by papichango

But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?

OMFG that is major ownage right there. Like a Hiroshima kind of ownage.

WestCoastOffensive · 03-13-2006, 01:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by papichango

It's a joke people.

Man you folks are too darn tight.

j-rome · 03-14-2006, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mean Bro Green

did people actually read that and think it was from you???/

lmao

hahaha that makes it better

murphklecko73 · 03-16-2006, 12:55 PM

Classic

Penny2Coles · 03-16-2006, 11:25 PM

awsome.

WestCoastOffensive · 03-18-2006, 03:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LIDeadHead

OMFG that is major ownage right there. Like a Hiroshima kind of ownage.

Nothing left. Just the gaping mouth.

02-02-2006, 10:37 AM	#1
papichango Hall Of Fame Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Brooklyn, New York (Where life Began) Posts: 4,279	A separated Husband : OT Dear Connie, I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact. In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back! To me! I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does. Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: “There is no one like you, Connie.” I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close. Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice-skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn’t believe and an * that just wouldn’t quit. Every man’s dream, right? But as I lay on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I’m getting at? Does it make her a between person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little. Later, after I’d tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there to watch. Do you know what I mean? Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we’re banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart’s a total monster in the sack; she’s giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so that we can watch ourselves. And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy?” Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good advice about you and about woman in general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we’re doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here’s this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky’s really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can. If you feel the same, please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the **ing remote is? Love, Dan

02-02-2006, 10:44 AM	#2
NoJokeJets Bill O'Brien in 2014! Veteran Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Colorado Posts: 1,751	Dump. What is this, Dr. Phil's web-site?

02-02-2006, 10:46 AM	#3
Ha Ha Ha Board Moderator Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Brooklyn Heights Posts: 2,461	I have no doubt that this is for real. But, damn funny. P.S. www.loveshack.org is message board for this type of crap. And BTW, it quite possibly rivals JI in terms of membership, posts and threads. So go there with your sob story.

02-02-2006, 10:51 AM	#4
WestCoastOffensive Didn't pull the pin - got blasted anyway Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: SF via Strong Island Posts: 26,972	Sorry for your suffering. Women are so...what's the word... I am just so shocked, at the callous way your estranged wife acts. I hope that you will put the pieces of *** together, one at time.

02-02-2006, 10:55 AM	#5
The Crusher wearing american flag shirt right now All Pro Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Fairfax Va Posts: 7,842	Good luck with it man. You might want to leave the "Hustler letter" description out next time. If all fails you can always buy another remote.

02-02-2006, 06:59 PM	#7
papichango Hall Of Fame Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: Brooklyn, New York (Where life Began) Posts: 4,279	It's a joke people. Man you folks are too darn tight.

03-01-2006, 10:00 PM	#10
Xmarco '13 Mission statement:Blow this whole Effin Program up Veteran Join Date: Apr 2004 Posts: 1,732	Oh that **** was funny

03-16-2006, 12:55 PM	#14
murphklecko73 Praying for a win Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Troop 16H MEMBER Posts: 2,511	Classic

03-16-2006, 11:25 PM	#15
Penny2Coles Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Sunshine State Posts: 8,003	awsome.