Dealing with Jehovah Witnesses - Page 2 - Jets Insider.com Forums

RazorJet · 01-28-2012, 08:02 PM

Had my girlfriend climb all over me while I spoke at the door, wearing a towel and saying that8 need saving... after all the liquor and untraditional sex i'd been having, I must have the Devil in me.
Also answered once wearing boxer and a dog collar, leash attached, while blaring Izzy.
Lived in Mo Valley, Ca. for 2 years in mid 90's and it was every Saturday morning. Never let one 'want' to come back so it was a different one every week. Sometimes i'd still be drunk so I would grab a bottle and just ad lib.

quantum · 01-28-2012, 09:13 PM

[QUOTE=John_0515;4350574]I
Today, I answered the door wearing my gasmask as a codpiece and holding my wife's cat upside down by the tail.
[/QUOTE]

This, for the stubborn ones. :yes:

Dimitri_0515 · 01-28-2012, 10:23 PM

You people are weird I just start throwing water balloons.

Big L · 01-28-2012, 10:42 PM

At my old house, you can see from the front door right to the back porch. I had a party one day, and we got it going around noon. JWs come by around 3, and could see me get up from the boozeathon. I came out, hey how ya doin, etc. and after the pleasantries they say 'you ever hear of Jesus?' and I said 'yeah, I've heard the name. Want to come in for a drink and talk about hm?' They declined and never came back.

thebigragu · 01-28-2012, 11:11 PM

[QUOTE=Jets_Penguin;4350688]Actually I was going to say the same thing. My wife and I answered the door naked, held it open and invited them in. We told them we were nudists but wouldnt mind hearing their point of view. They politely said they would come back another time.......that was 12 years ago. :D[/QUOTE]

Some poor bastard decided to spread the word while I was getting divorced facing legal issues and clearing out my house so I could give it over to the ex, in the middle of a 4 day alcohol binge from hell.

Boxer shorts running shoes bottle of vodka and a plunger upon greeting my guest at the door at 930 am. Faint memories of me walking them down the driveway screaming who is your God vodka and plunger in tow, my neighbor Keith hosing down his driveway loving every minute of it. Keith was a rabid atheist lawyer. Good times

Warfish · 01-29-2012, 12:12 AM

Door Knockers?

Tell them you worship the Dark One, Lord of Darkness, Lucifer, and if they'd like to come in an exchange ideas, you'd be happy to have them....in your basement.

:straitface:

Odds are, they won;t come back....but new ones will eventually.

Jungle Shift Jet · 01-29-2012, 02:23 AM

This thread confirms my theory that devout folks are oddly drawn to scantily clad substance-abusing degenerates

John_0515 · 01-29-2012, 02:55 AM

[QUOTE=Jungle Shift Jet;4351030]This thread confirms my theory that devout folks are oddly drawn to scantily clad substance-abusing degenerates[/QUOTE]

Luke 17:21

"The Kingdom of God is within you."

Luke 17:23

"Men will tell you, 'There he is!' or 'Here he is!' Do not go running off after them."

I don't need anyone coming to my door repeatedly to get me to convert to a "religion" that will supposedly save me over another.

Sourceworx · 01-29-2012, 09:02 AM

Play this song, and dance like this when you answer the door. Problem solved.

[URL="

cr726 · 01-29-2012, 09:13 AM

The JW's hang in the Shop Rite parking lot and hand out their pamphlets.

kennesawjet · 01-29-2012, 09:26 AM

[QUOTE=John_0515;4350574]I'm sorry, but I told this woman (Ellie), that I don't want to be saved. I have my own religion, and I don't want to insult hers. She keeps coming back to my house and ringing my doorbell saying that we can all be in Paradise together.

Today, I answered the door wearing my gasmask and holding my wife's cat. I wanted to have fun with it since she didn't get the hint.

I don't think she'll be back.

Any stories from you guys related to this?[/QUOTE]

any one coming back that many times to tell me something positive, i would applaud their perseverance.

Jets Things · 01-29-2012, 10:58 AM

This is the reason I keep an anatomically-correct Jesus mannequin just inside the front door. Whenever those moonies come knocking, I rip open the Lord's shroud and start teabagging him. The soul solicitors go running.

32green · 01-29-2012, 01:24 PM

I dont believe any of these door answering stories.

Not one.

Except Jetsthings teabargin a dude.

-

srobjets · 01-29-2012, 01:32 PM

Ask them. Why bother? Don't you guys already have your 144,000 that are going to heaven? Go home and relax.

Jets_Penguin · 01-29-2012, 02:09 PM

[QUOTE=dustykeller;4350690]bahahaha! Way to raise the bar, my friend. And getting the wife involved deserves bonus points.

My wife hates it when i answer the door in my drawers.....some of her work friends (chicks) showed up on my doorstep once, that was a little awkward....for them. :P[/QUOTE]

and this was before I learned about "manscaping":P

Jets_Penguin · 01-29-2012, 02:10 PM

[QUOTE=AlwaysGreenAlwaysWhite;4350704]+1

Although they may have stuck around if he wasnt there too :P[/QUOTE]

Nah, it was two wrinkle old ladies and a 16 yr old.....lol ok so maybe We made the kids day

Brooklyn Jet · 01-29-2012, 03:26 PM

Seems like a lot of effort. The simple solution is a 75 lb German Shepherd standing behind you barking when you answer the door. It dissuades solicitors of all races, colors and creeds, whether they're selling you their God, encyclopedias, or lower energy rates.

GMCJETS · 01-29-2012, 04:20 PM

Try 1 of these.

[IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/e0sc2x.jpg[/IMG]

John_0515 · 01-29-2012, 04:41 PM

[QUOTE=srobjets;4351316]Ask them. Why bother? Don't you guys already have your 144,000 that are going to heaven? Go home and relax.[/QUOTE]

I actually did say that to her once, and asked her if she was a descendant of one of the twelve tribes of Canaan.

freestater · 01-30-2012, 09:51 AM

[QUOTE=sourceworx;4351077]Play this song, and dance like this when you answer the door. Problem solved.

[URL="

01-29-2012, 09:02 AM	#29
Sourceworx Hall Of Fame Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Long Island Posts: 13,412	Play this song, and dance like this when you answer the door. Problem solved. [URL=" Last edited by Sourceworx; 01-29-2012 at 09:04 AM.

01-29-2012, 09:26 AM	#31
kennesawjet Practice Squad Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 427	geeee you would think.......... [QUOTE=John_0515;4350574]I'm sorry, but I told this woman (Ellie), that I don't want to be saved. I have my own religion, and I don't want to insult hers. She keeps coming back to my house and ringing my doorbell saying that we can all be in Paradise together. Today, I answered the door wearing my gasmask and holding my wife's cat. I wanted to have fun with it since she didn't get the hint. I don't think she'll be back. Any stories from you guys related to this?[/QUOTE] any one coming back that many times to tell me something positive, i would applaud their perseverance.

01-29-2012, 01:32 PM	#34
srobjets Veteran Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 2,455	Ask them. Why bother? Don't you guys already have your 144,000 that are going to heaven? Go home and relax. Last edited by srobjets; 01-29-2012 at 01:35 PM.

01-28-2012, 08:02 PM	#21
RazorJet W P S! !!!! no, i mean it. Veteran Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Atkins, Arkansas Posts: 1,619	Had my girlfriend climb all over me while I spoke at the door, wearing a towel and saying that8 need saving... after all the liquor and untraditional sex i'd been having, I must have the Devil in me. Also answered once wearing boxer and a dog collar, leash attached, while blaring Izzy. Lived in Mo Valley, Ca. for 2 years in mid 90's and it was every Saturday morning. Never let one 'want' to come back so it was a different one every week. Sometimes i'd still be drunk so I would grab a bottle and just ad lib.

01-28-2012, 09:13 PM	#22
quantum GFY Snatchez! Hall Of Fame Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: LI Posts: 17,894	[QUOTE=John_0515;4350574]I Today, I answered the door wearing my gasmask as a codpiece and holding my wife's cat upside down by the tail. [/QUOTE] This, for the stubborn ones. :yes:

01-28-2012, 10:23 PM	#23
Dimitri_0515 Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,182	You people are weird I just start throwing water balloons.

01-28-2012, 10:42 PM	#24
Big L Plus six thousand posts Veteran Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: It's all relative Posts: 1,062	At my old house, you can see from the front door right to the back porch. I had a party one day, and we got it going around noon. JWs come by around 3, and could see me get up from the boozeathon. I came out, hey how ya doin, etc. and after the pleasantries they say 'you ever hear of Jesus?' and I said 'yeah, I've heard the name. Want to come in for a drink and talk about hm?' They declined and never came back.

01-28-2012, 11:11 PM	#25
thebigragu Downright Brilliant All Pro Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Staten Island Posts: 7,828	[QUOTE=Jets_Penguin;4350688]Actually I was going to say the same thing. My wife and I answered the door naked, held it open and invited them in. We told them we were nudists but wouldnt mind hearing their point of view. They politely said they would come back another time.......that was 12 years ago. :D[/QUOTE] Some poor bastard decided to spread the word while I was getting divorced facing legal issues and clearing out my house so I could give it over to the ex, in the middle of a 4 day alcohol binge from hell. Boxer shorts running shoes bottle of vodka and a plunger upon greeting my guest at the door at 930 am. Faint memories of me walking them down the driveway screaming who is your God vodka and plunger in tow, my neighbor Keith hosing down his driveway loving every minute of it. Keith was a rabid atheist lawyer. Good times

01-29-2012, 12:12 AM	#26
Warfish JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 35,000	Door Knockers? Tell them you worship the Dark One, Lord of Darkness, Lucifer, and if they'd like to come in an exchange ideas, you'd be happy to have them....in your basement. :straitface: Odds are, they won;t come back....but new ones will eventually.

01-29-2012, 02:23 AM	#27
Jungle Shift Jet Occasionally stoops to uploading hotties pix to boost his postcount All Pro Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: Alive with a superior intellect in an erudite world of fine tastes that you will never, EVER acquire Posts: 5,038	This thread confirms my theory that devout folks are oddly drawn to scantily clad substance-abusing degenerates

01-29-2012, 02:55 AM	#28
John_0515 Hall Of Fame Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 21,130	[QUOTE=Jungle Shift Jet;4351030]This thread confirms my theory that devout folks are oddly drawn to scantily clad substance-abusing degenerates[/QUOTE] Luke 17:21 "The Kingdom of God is within you." Luke 17:23 "Men will tell you, 'There he is!' or 'Here he is!' Do not go running off after them." I don't need anyone coming to my door repeatedly to get me to convert to a "religion" that will supposedly save me over another.

01-29-2012, 09:13 AM	#30
cr726 Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 13,306	The JW's hang in the Shop Rite parking lot and hand out their pamphlets.

01-29-2012, 10:58 AM	#32
Jets Things All Pro Join Date: May 2003 Location: 742 Evergreen Terrace Posts: 9,411	This is the reason I keep an anatomically-correct Jesus mannequin just inside the front door. Whenever those moonies come knocking, I rip open the Lord's shroud and start teabagging him. The soul solicitors go running.

01-29-2012, 01:24 PM	#33
32green The original road-kill pus slurper. MMMmmm pus. Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: The depths of Despair. Posts: 37,672	I dont believe any of these door answering stories. Not one. Except Jetsthings teabargin a dude. -

01-29-2012, 02:09 PM	#35
Jets_Penguin Bench Sanchez- DONE, Fire Tanny- DONE and Rex, DRAFT a QB, Hire new coach and GM- DONE...start fresh Rookie Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: The ZONE, Az Posts: 882	[QUOTE=dustykeller;4350690]bahahaha! Way to raise the bar, my friend. And getting the wife involved deserves bonus points. My wife hates it when i answer the door in my drawers.....some of her work friends (chicks) showed up on my doorstep once, that was a little awkward....for them. :P[/QUOTE] and this was before I learned about "manscaping":P

01-29-2012, 02:10 PM	#36
Jets_Penguin Bench Sanchez- DONE, Fire Tanny- DONE and Rex, DRAFT a QB, Hire new coach and GM- DONE...start fresh Rookie Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: The ZONE, Az Posts: 882	[QUOTE=AlwaysGreenAlwaysWhite;4350704]+1 Although they may have stuck around if he wasnt there too :P[/QUOTE] Nah, it was two wrinkle old ladies and a 16 yr old.....lol ok so maybe We made the kids day

01-29-2012, 03:26 PM	#37
Brooklyn Jet Ever been arrested? All Pro Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 5,267	Seems like a lot of effort. The simple solution is a 75 lb German Shepherd standing behind you barking when you answer the door. It dissuades solicitors of all races, colors and creeds, whether they're selling you their God, encyclopedias, or lower energy rates.

01-29-2012, 04:20 PM	#38
GMCJETS Been there done that. Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 5,658	Try 1 of these. [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/e0sc2x.jpg[/IMG]

01-29-2012, 04:41 PM	#39
John_0515 Hall Of Fame Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 21,130	[QUOTE=srobjets;4351316]Ask them. Why bother? Don't you guys already have your 144,000 that are going to heaven? Go home and relax.[/QUOTE] I actually did say that to her once, and asked her if she was a descendant of one of the twelve tribes of Canaan.

01-30-2012, 09:51 AM	#40
freestater we gonna lay around the shanty, Mama, and put a good buzz on Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Rochester, NY Posts: 13,507	[QUOTE=sourceworx;4351077]Play this song, and dance like this when you answer the door. Problem solved. [URL="