So our office got new furniture..... - Page 3 - Jets Insider.com Forums

DDNYjets · 06-11-2012, 12:38 PM

[QUOTE=JStokes;4488839]Don't get me started on wooden chairs in grade school.

Traumatic.

_[/QUOTE]

I always felt bad for the kids whose feet couldn't reach the floor.

[IMG]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/25587528_099aae0934.jpg?v=0[/IMG]

JStokes · 06-11-2012, 12:40 PM

[QUOTE=DDNYjets;4488851]I always felt bad for the kids whose feet couldn't reach the floor.[/QUOTE]

That's part of the story.

But the indignity that I had to endure to "correct" this problem was as cruel and as callous as anything Ray Ray would say to Tex.

_

crossfire · 06-11-2012, 12:44 PM

20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG]

JStokes · 06-11-2012, 12:44 PM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488850][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

I can look back now and laugh, but whilst it was happening, that one fateful day, well Columbine almost happened at the Northside School in East Williston had I not been a more level-headed 4th grader. Plus Ms. Polacci was holding my hand and I was hot for teacher.

_

DDNYjets · 06-11-2012, 12:45 PM

[QUOTE=JStokes;4488854]That's part of the story.

But the indignity that I had to endure to "correct" this problem was as cruel and as callous as anything Ray Ray would say to Tex.

_[/QUOTE]

Was the desk too high? You had to use a booster?

Fishooked · 06-11-2012, 12:48 PM

[QUOTE=shakin318;4488811]Au contraire. To us proud flatulists, nothing was better.[/QUOTE]

yes

[QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4488814]+1, made the best noises.[/QUOTE]

YES

[QUOTE=dmitexxi;4488817]I'm all about wall farts for that reason[/QUOTE]

[B]YES![/B]

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488850][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

RMAO X 100

[B][SIZE="5"]YES!!![/SIZE][/B]

32green · 06-11-2012, 12:56 PM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

:D

southside · 06-11-2012, 01:06 PM

I used to work in an office. Now I work from home.

Dimitri_0515 · 06-11-2012, 01:07 PM

[QUOTE=southside;4488880]I used to work in an office. Now I work from home.[/QUOTE]

and the thread dies

southside · 06-11-2012, 01:09 PM

[QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4488882]and the thread dies[/QUOTE]

Because you smell, Stinky.

Fishooked · 06-11-2012, 01:11 PM

Ah yes, the wooden desk. complete with a metal resonance chamber underneath. The best farts, indeed.

I went to a Catholic high school (because that's where they all of the 'troubled' kids seemed to end up, and one of our Theology teachers was quite the effeminate, fruity type. Prolly not ghey, but definitely had a lot of sand kicked in his face I'll bet.

Probably one of my most memorable moments high school was the fart I ripped in his class. I think it was sophomore or junior year, but his class was after lunch.

Let me preface this story by stating prior to this, a couple of classmates had already ripped a couple of standard 'run-of-the-mill' nothing spectacular (but no less funny :D ) farts early on in class, which already annoyed by teacher already. After his mini-tirade about us being 'immature', I had something special percolating inside, and it wasn't faith in Jesus.

I was generally a 'good' kid and didn't like to make waves (lol) or get into trouble, much less be the center of attention. But the guy that sat behind me always had me in stitches, definitely one of the funniest mofos I ever met - so today was the day I returned the favor.

As I got ready I grabbed the top of the wooden desk panel with both hands, lifted the right rump cheek up about an inch, and let it rip.

[SIZE="7"][I][B]"....bbbbbffftftftftftftftfftpftpfhBTBTTBTBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!...."[/B][/I][/SIZE]

I simply cannot describe the sound; it was super crisp, very loud, and I swear I heard the bolts rattling in my seat. If anything it probably loosened them.

The entire class simply fell apart for 5 minutes.
The teacher whirled around, ref-faced and perturbed, and laid into the class about us "having manners like peasants" and what not. I don't know how I kept a straight face the whole time. Somehow no one in the class gave it away that it was me, although my classmates around 'Ground Zero' knew and kept their poker faces.

Best fart ever. :D

Fishooked · 06-11-2012, 01:12 PM

[QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4488882]and the thread dies[/QUOTE]

lol, southside the momentum killer

southside · 06-11-2012, 01:19 PM

[QUOTE=Fishooked;4488888]lol, southside the momentum killer[/QUOTE]

I don't get the outrage.

southside®

Fishooked · 06-11-2012, 01:23 PM

[QUOTE=southside;4488894]I don't get the outrage.

southside®[/QUOTE]

LOLGFY™

dmitexxi · 06-11-2012, 01:47 PM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488850][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

Seriously my partner just walked in and asked me whats so funny. :applause:

Lone Star Lady · 06-11-2012, 02:05 PM

[QUOTE=DDNYjets;4488851]I always felt bad for the kids whose feet couldn't reach the floor.

[IMG]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/25587528_099aae0934.jpg?v=0[/IMG][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

LOL

I had the same problem with not touching the floor, except in 6th grade, it was different. We had different sized desks so the short kids had to sit in front and the tall kids got to sit in back in the larger desk/chairs.

Our idiot teacher decided to go boy-girl-boy-girl so I was in the front row in between the two shortest guys. They were tough guys and didn't take any crap.

Our teacher used to spit as he talked and the three of us in the front row were prime targets. Yuck! One day the kid next to me yells out "Stop spitting on us!" Everyone started cracking up and we were ROLF (before there was an acronym). It was so funny.

I was glad to get to 7th grade where, whilst I couldn't reach the floor in the standard desks, we could sit wherever we wanted.

Dimitri_0515 · 06-11-2012, 02:47 PM

[QUOTE=southside;4488894]I don't get the outrage.

southside®[/QUOTE]

This guy gets it, but not by that much.

JStokes · 06-11-2012, 03:30 PM

[QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4488934]

so I was in the front row in between the two shortest guys. [B]They were tough guys and didn't take any crap. [/B]

[/QUOTE]

We usually are and don't.

The gheys mistake that for grumpiness.

This chick gets it.

_

Jetworks · 06-11-2012, 06:04 PM

[QUOTE=Fishooked;4488645]

[IMG]http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o38/fishooked/IMG_20120611_064112.jpg[/IMG]

[/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=Fishooked;4488656]That was Friday's face.... this is Mondays

[IMG]http://i.minus.com/iZtozG7l4EhdN.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4488683][IMG]http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f264/raoulduke03031973/Fish3.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488694][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/fishwhiteboardstokes2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

[QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

:clapper:

Dimitri_0515 · 06-11-2012, 06:35 PM

[QUOTE=JStokes;4489015]We usually are and don't.

The gheys mistake that for grumpiness.

This chick gets it.

_[/QUOTE]

Keep telling yourself that short round.

This guy gets it.

06-11-2012, 12:38 PM	#41
DDNYjets Hall Of Fame Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: New York Posts: 12,555	[QUOTE=JStokes;4488839]Don't get me started on wooden chairs in grade school. Traumatic. _[/QUOTE] I always felt bad for the kids whose feet couldn't reach the floor. [IMG]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/25587528_099aae0934.jpg?v=0[/IMG] Last edited by DDNYjets; 06-11-2012 at 12:42 PM.

06-11-2012, 12:44 PM	#43
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,706	20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG] Last edited by crossfire; 06-11-2012 at 12:48 PM.

06-11-2012, 12:40 PM	#42
JStokes Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 20,126	[QUOTE=DDNYjets;4488851]I always felt bad for the kids whose feet couldn't reach the floor.[/QUOTE] That's part of the story. But the indignity that I had to endure to "correct" this problem was as cruel and as callous as anything Ray Ray would say to Tex. _

06-11-2012, 12:45 PM	#45
DDNYjets Hall Of Fame Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: New York Posts: 12,555	[QUOTE=JStokes;4488854]That's part of the story. But the indignity that I had to endure to "correct" this problem was as cruel and as callous as anything Ray Ray would say to Tex. _[/QUOTE] Was the desk too high? You had to use a booster?

06-11-2012, 12:48 PM	#46
Fishooked dealin' out shithands Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: teh interwebz Posts: 24,905	[QUOTE=shakin318;4488811]Au contraire. To us proud flatulists, nothing was better.[/QUOTE] yes [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4488814]+1, made the best noises.[/QUOTE] YES [QUOTE=dmitexxi;4488817]I'm all about wall farts for that reason[/QUOTE] [B]YES![/B] [QUOTE=crossfire;4488850][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] RMAO X 100 [B][SIZE="5"]YES!!![/SIZE][/B]

06-11-2012, 12:56 PM	#47
32green neerg23 Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: The depths of Despair. Posts: 37,703	[QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] :D

06-11-2012, 01:06 PM	#48
southside Forever Awesome All Pro Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 8,938	I used to work in an office. Now I work from home.

06-11-2012, 01:07 PM	#49
Dimitri_0515 Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,182	[QUOTE=southside;4488880]I used to work in an office. Now I work from home.[/QUOTE] and the thread dies

06-11-2012, 01:09 PM	#50
southside Forever Awesome All Pro Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 8,938	[QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4488882]and the thread dies[/QUOTE] Because you smell, Stinky.

06-11-2012, 01:11 PM	#51
Fishooked dealin' out shithands Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: teh interwebz Posts: 24,905	Ah yes, the wooden desk. complete with a metal resonance chamber underneath. The best farts, indeed. I went to a Catholic high school (because that's where they all of the 'troubled' kids seemed to end up, and one of our Theology teachers was quite the effeminate, fruity type. Prolly not ghey, but definitely had a lot of sand kicked in his face I'll bet. Probably one of my most memorable moments high school was the fart I ripped in his class. I think it was sophomore or junior year, but his class was after lunch. Let me preface this story by stating prior to this, a couple of classmates had already ripped a couple of standard 'run-of-the-mill' nothing spectacular (but no less funny :D ) farts early on in class, which already annoyed by teacher already. After his mini-tirade about us being 'immature', I had something special percolating inside, and it wasn't faith in Jesus. I was generally a 'good' kid and didn't like to make waves (lol) or get into trouble, much less be the center of attention. But the guy that sat behind me always had me in stitches, definitely one of the funniest mofos I ever met - so today was the day I returned the favor. As I got ready I grabbed the top of the wooden desk panel with both hands, lifted the right rump cheek up about an inch, and let it rip. [SIZE="7"][I][B]"....bbbbbffftftftftftftftfftpftpfhBTBTTBTBBRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!...."[/B][/I][/SIZE] I simply cannot describe the sound; it was super crisp, very loud, and I swear I heard the bolts rattling in my seat. If anything it probably loosened them. The entire class simply fell apart for 5 minutes. The teacher whirled around, ref-faced and perturbed, and laid into the class about us "having manners like peasants" and what not. I don't know how I kept a straight face the whole time. Somehow no one in the class gave it away that it was me, although my classmates around 'Ground Zero' knew and kept their poker faces. Best fart ever. :D

06-11-2012, 01:12 PM	#52
Fishooked dealin' out shithands Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: teh interwebz Posts: 24,905	[QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4488882]and the thread dies[/QUOTE] lol, southside the momentum killer

06-11-2012, 01:19 PM	#53
southside Forever Awesome All Pro Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 8,938	[QUOTE=Fishooked;4488888]lol, southside the momentum killer[/QUOTE] I don't get the outrage. southside®

06-11-2012, 01:23 PM	#54
Fishooked dealin' out shithands Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: teh interwebz Posts: 24,905	[QUOTE=southside;4488894]I don't get the outrage. southside®[/QUOTE] LOLGFY™

06-11-2012, 01:47 PM	#55
dmitexxi RIP JF XXI Forever! Veteran Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Long Island Posts: 2,042	[QUOTE=crossfire;4488850][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] Seriously my partner just walked in and asked me whats so funny. :applause:

06-11-2012, 02:05 PM	#56
Lone Star Lady Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: TX via MA via CT Posts: 1,855	[QUOTE=DDNYjets;4488851]I always felt bad for the kids whose feet couldn't reach the floor. [IMG]http://farm1.static.flickr.com/23/25587528_099aae0934.jpg?v=0[/IMG][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] LOL I had the same problem with not touching the floor, except in 6th grade, it was different. We had different sized desks so the short kids had to sit in front and the tall kids got to sit in back in the larger desk/chairs. Our idiot teacher decided to go boy-girl-boy-girl so I was in the front row in between the two shortest guys. They were tough guys and didn't take any crap. Our teacher used to spit as he talked and the three of us in the front row were prime targets. Yuck! One day the kid next to me yells out "Stop spitting on us!" Everyone started cracking up and we were ROLF (before there was an acronym). It was so funny. I was glad to get to 7th grade where, whilst I couldn't reach the floor in the standard desks, we could sit wherever we wanted.

06-11-2012, 02:47 PM	#57
Dimitri_0515 Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,182	[QUOTE=southside;4488894]I don't get the outrage. southside®[/QUOTE] This guy gets it, but not by that much.

06-11-2012, 03:30 PM	#58
JStokes Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 20,126	[QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4488934] so I was in the front row in between the two shortest guys. [B]They were tough guys and didn't take any crap. [/B] [/QUOTE] We usually are and don't. The gheys mistake that for grumpiness. This chick gets it. _

06-11-2012, 06:04 PM	#59
Jetworks murse in training Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Staten Island Posts: 7,542	[QUOTE=Fishooked;4488645] [IMG]http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o38/fishooked/IMG_20120611_064112.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE] [QUOTE=Fishooked;4488656]That was Friday's face.... this is Mondays [IMG]http://i.minus.com/iZtozG7l4EhdN.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4488683][IMG]http://i49.photobucket.com/albums/f264/raoulduke03031973/Fish3.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=crossfire;4488694][IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/fishwhiteboardstokes2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] [QUOTE=crossfire;4488859]20 minutes, a rope and grappling hook later... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/stokeswoodenchair2.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] :clapper:

06-11-2012, 06:35 PM	#60
Dimitri_0515 Banned Join Date: Jun 2007 Posts: 11,182	[QUOTE=JStokes;4489015]We usually are and don't. The gheys mistake that for grumpiness. This chick gets it. _[/QUOTE] Keep telling yourself that short round. This guy gets it.