Chinese hospitals introduce hands-free automatic 'sperm extractor' for donors - Jets Insider.com Forums

TokyoJetsFan · 09-23-2012, 01:01 AM

...machine shuts itself down when Southside tries to use it

Chinese hospitals introduce hands-free automatic 'sperm extractor' for donors (that even play videos to 'help')

Chinese hospitals are introducing a new machine which can extract sperm for donors.
According to China’s Weibo social platform the automatic sperm extractors are being introduced in a Nanjing hospital, capital of Jiangsu province.

The pink, grey and white machine has a massage pipe at the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user.

Speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature are also controllable.
It has a small screen on the top which plays films for the user to help them with the extraction process.

The director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital said the machine was being used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.
A website which is selling the machine for $2,800 promoting it stating 'it can give patients very comfortable feeling.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz27GY8IkA8
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Crease29 · 09-23-2012, 01:11 AM

The testing process must have been fun...

crossfire · 09-23-2012, 01:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TokyoJetsFan

Chinese hospitals introduce hands-free automatic 'sperm extractor' for donors (that even play videos to 'help')

Fishooked · 09-23-2012, 08:37 AM

I thought the last thing China would need is more Chinese people.

Also wtf

1greenNUT · 09-23-2012, 08:45 AM

No thumb in ass attachment? Not interested...

Johnny Bravo · 09-23-2012, 08:55 AM

WTF?

32green · 09-23-2012, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crossfire

RMAO!!!!

-

Bonhomme Richard · 09-23-2012, 09:27 AM

I guess the traditional hands-free sperm extractor is considered old-fashioned in China:

DDNYjets · 09-23-2012, 09:37 AM

The opening is way too big for a Chinese d!ck. I guess they didn't do much R and D.

frostlich · 09-23-2012, 09:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TokyoJetsFan

...machine shuts itself down when Southside tries to use it

Chinese hospitals introduce hands-free automatic 'sperm extractor' for donors (that even play videos to 'help')

Chinese hospitals are introducing a new machine which can extract sperm for donors.
According to China’s Weibo social platform the automatic sperm extractors are being introduced in a Nanjing hospital, capital of Jiangsu province.

The pink, grey and white machine has a massage pipe at the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user.

Speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature are also controllable.
It has a small screen on the top which plays films for the user to help them with the extraction process.

The director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital said the machine was being used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way.
A website which is selling the machine for $2,800 promoting it stating 'it can give patients very comfortable feeling.'

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz27GY8IkA8
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook

Massage and Pipe....two words I haven't heard used together before...

and are there donkey videos?

leftturn3 · 09-23-2012, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crease29

The testing process must have been fun...

all the testers are dead.

i have a hands free sperm extrator, i call it wife, why am i not in the news.

32green · 09-23-2012, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by frostlich

and are there donkey videos?

Even better.

PatriotReign · 09-23-2012, 10:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DDNYjets

The opening is way too big for a Chinese d!ck. I guess they didn't do much R and D.

Incorrect, they accurately tailored it to the Chinese male population hence the 3" depth.

Porgyman · 09-23-2012, 12:54 PM

Just imagine the poor guy that has to clean it out between uses...if it is cleaned between uses!!!

thebigragu · 09-23-2012, 05:10 PM

Throw a blonde wig on that some high heels on the side and I might buy it dinner

shakin318 · 09-23-2012, 05:13 PM

Yet another example of robots taking work away from mankind. Just that many more college-aged French guys unable to make a buck.

Warfish · 09-23-2012, 05:34 PM

The number of Hampur Posters currently researching the viabillity of a home unit: 24

PlumberKhan · 09-23-2012, 08:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Warfish

The number of Hampur Posters currently researching the viabillity of a home unit: 24

Already ordered one.

Need to figure out how to hook it up to the 220V dryer outlet.

TokyoJetsFan · 09-23-2012, 09:06 PM

Stokes called me and said not to buy this. The opening gave him a headache and made him look like he was from India.
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Big L · 09-23-2012, 10:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 32green

Even better.

Nice, I was just laughing about the singing bush earlier today whilst enjoying cold ones with friends. Coincidence? I think so.

And what does this hands free device free up your hands to do? Email? Facebook? Shave? What?

09-23-2012, 01:01 AM	#1
TokyoJetsFan Is keeping a lookout for stolen ipad2's Veteran Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 2,256	Chinese hospitals introduce hands-free automatic 'sperm extractor' for donors ...machine shuts itself down when Southside tries to use it Chinese hospitals introduce hands-free automatic 'sperm extractor' for donors (that even play videos to 'help') Chinese hospitals are introducing a new machine which can extract sperm for donors. According to China’s Weibo social platform the automatic sperm extractors are being introduced in a Nanjing hospital, capital of Jiangsu province. The pink, grey and white machine has a massage pipe at the front which apparently can be adjusted according to the height of its user. Speed, frequency, amplitude and temperature are also controllable. It has a small screen on the top which plays films for the user to help them with the extraction process. The director of the urology department at Zhengzhou Central Hospital said the machine was being used by infertility patients who are finding it difficult to retrieve sperm the old fashioned way. A website which is selling the machine for $2,800 promoting it stating 'it can give patients very comfortable feeling.' Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...#ixzz27GY8IkA8 Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter \| DailyMail on Facebook

09-23-2012, 01:11 AM	#2
Crease29 All Pro Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 1,059	The testing process must have been fun...

09-23-2012, 08:37 AM	#4
Fishooked dealin' out shithands Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: teh interwebz Posts: 24,721	I thought the last thing China would need is more Chinese people. Also wtf

09-23-2012, 08:45 AM	#5
1greenNUT All League Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: Port Orange, Florida Posts: 2,640	No thumb in ass attachment? Not interested...

09-23-2012, 08:55 AM	#6
Johnny Bravo SNUBBED! Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 10,695	WTF?

09-23-2012, 09:27 AM	#8
Bonhomme Richard Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Charter JI Member Join Date: May 1999 Posts: 4,102	I guess the traditional hands-free sperm extractor is considered old-fashioned in China:

09-23-2012, 09:37 AM	#9
DDNYjets Bye week buh bye Rex Hall Of Fame Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: New York Posts: 12,300	The opening is way too big for a Chinese d!ck. I guess they didn't do much R and D.

09-23-2012, 12:54 PM	#14
Porgyman Practice Squad Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 268	Just imagine the poor guy that has to clean it out between uses...if it is cleaned between uses!!!

09-23-2012, 05:10 PM	#15
thebigragu Downright Brilliant All Pro Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Staten Island Posts: 7,828	Throw a blonde wig on that some high heels on the side and I might buy it dinner

09-23-2012, 05:13 PM	#16
shakin318 Beslubbering beef-witted lout Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Charter JI Member Join Date: May 1999 Location: Funkytown Posts: 7,181	Yet another example of robots taking work away from mankind. Just that many more college-aged French guys unable to make a buck.

09-23-2012, 05:34 PM	#17
Warfish JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 35,000	The number of Hampur Posters currently researching the viabillity of a home unit: 24

09-23-2012, 09:06 PM	#19
TokyoJetsFan Is keeping a lookout for stolen ipad2's Veteran Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: San Diego, CA Posts: 2,256	Stokes called me and said not to buy this. The opening gave him a headache and made him look like he was from India. . . . . . . . . . .