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Borgoguy · 10-08-2012, 01:12 PM

Even whilst imprisoned, how does a POS murderer like Joran van der Sloot get more tail than our hapless boy blunder?

Joran van der Sloot, a Dutch man serving a 28-year-sentence for murdering a young Peruvian woman, has impregnated a woman while imprisoned in Lima, according to reports.

Maximo Altex, van der Sloot's lawyer, told Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf that the pregnancy is past its third month. Van der Sloot himself also told the newspaper that "a test has proved" the pregnancy.

The woman, identified by the paper only as "Leidi," was said to have become pregnant during an unsupervised visit with van der Sloot. It was not clear whether that is allowed or possible under Peruvian prison rules.

Media in Peru last year identified a woman named Leydi Figueroa Uceda as Van der Sloot's girlfriend, and said they had conceived a son together, but she denied it. Mr Altez then described the pair as "friends."

In De Telegraaf, Van der Sloot said "Leidi" uses the birth control pill but had apparently forgotten to take it and she would not have an abortion due to her Catholic faith. He said he did not have DNA proof the child is his, but he believes it is.

Van der Sloot is a self-described liar, having repeatedly confessed to killing US teenager Natalee Holloway, who disappeared in 2005, and later retracting the confessions. He is the last person known to have seen her alive.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...in-prison.html

Fishooked · 10-08-2012, 01:38 PM

He has 'teh douchebag face' like Jay Cutler.

crossfire · 10-08-2012, 01:42 PM

Perhaps he should change his name to Joran van der Slide and tell women he's a killer... you know... to help his image.

Borgoguy · 10-08-2012, 01:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fishooked

He has 'teh douchebag face' like Jay Cutler.

Cutler just looks dopey. Van der Sloot has the face of an evil person, which needs to be stomped into mush.

southside · 10-08-2012, 03:49 PM

This hurts.®

The only thing to make it better:

Borgoguy · 10-08-2012, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by southside

This hurts.®

The only thing to make it better:

Bastid.

Fishooked · 10-08-2012, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borgoguy

Cutler just looks dopey.

Borgoguy · 10-08-2012, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fishooked

Where do you find this stuff? Great.

32green · 10-08-2012, 04:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borgoguy

Van der Sloot is a self-described liar, having repeatedly confessed to killing US teenager Natalee Holloway

So isnt he really a self-described.... killer?

WHo writes this crap?

-

Fishooked · 10-08-2012, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borgoguy

Where do you find this stuff? Great.

This thread -

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sho...readid=3465398

Read from start to finish, this was right after Eli won the SB, and there was rampant speculation as to where Peyton would end up.

Spawned 'Peyton Manning face' logos everywhere. Truly one of the most epic threads I have ever read.

Borgoguy · 10-08-2012, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fishooked

This thread -

http://forums.somethingawful.com/sho...readid=3465398

Read from start to finish, this was right after Eli won the SB, and there was rampant speculation as to where Peyton would end up.

Spawned 'Peyton Manning face' logos everywhere. Truly one of the most epic threads I have ever read.

I need to allot some time to go through that thing. This one had me LOLing.

Professor Funk posted:
1. Jets spend countless millions to sign Peyton Manning

2. Peyton Manning starts first preseason game

3. Wayne Hunter is Wayne Hunter

4. Peyton Manning literally dies on the field

WestCoastOffensive · 10-08-2012, 05:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fishooked

He has 'teh douchebag face' like Jay Cutler.

I bet his dear old Dad (RIP) left him plenty of money to sway the Peruvians.

How expensive is a Peruvian vagina these days?

Borgoguy · 10-08-2012, 05:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

I bet his dear old Dad (RIP) left him plenty of money to sway the Peruvians.

How expensive is a Peruvian vagina these days?

LOL. New or pre-owned?

WestCoastOffensive · 10-08-2012, 06:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borgoguy

LOL. New or pre-owned?

We'll have no way of knowing since Joran "Schwartzeneggered" that one.

Fishooked · 10-08-2012, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

I bet his dear old Dad (RIP) left him plenty of money to sway the Peruvians.

How expensive is a Peruvian vagina these days?

With or without marching powder?

Fishooked · 10-08-2012, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Borgoguy

I need to allot some time to go through that thing. This one had me LOLing.

Professor Funk posted:
1. Jets spend countless millions to sign Peyton Manning

2. Peyton Manning starts first preseason game

3. Wayne Hunter is Wayne Hunter

4. Peyton Manning literally dies on the field

Ha ha ha ha

If we had, this scenario would have most likely played out.

10-08-2012, 01:12 PM	#1
Borgoguy Not one image until my posts are restored. Veteran Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,444	Yet Southside Sits Idle Even whilst imprisoned, how does a POS murderer like Joran van der Sloot get more tail than our hapless boy blunder? Joran van der Sloot, a Dutch man serving a 28-year-sentence for murdering a young Peruvian woman, has impregnated a woman while imprisoned in Lima, according to reports. Maximo Altex, van der Sloot's lawyer, told Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf that the pregnancy is past its third month. Van der Sloot himself also told the newspaper that "a test has proved" the pregnancy. The woman, identified by the paper only as "Leidi," was said to have become pregnant during an unsupervised visit with van der Sloot. It was not clear whether that is allowed or possible under Peruvian prison rules. Media in Peru last year identified a woman named Leydi Figueroa Uceda as Van der Sloot's girlfriend, and said they had conceived a son together, but she denied it. Mr Altez then described the pair as "friends." In De Telegraaf, Van der Sloot said "Leidi" uses the birth control pill but had apparently forgotten to take it and she would not have an abortion due to her Catholic faith. He said he did not have DNA proof the child is his, but he believes it is. Van der Sloot is a self-described liar, having repeatedly confessed to killing US teenager Natalee Holloway, who disappeared in 2005, and later retracting the confessions. He is the last person known to have seen her alive. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worl...in-prison.html

10-08-2012, 01:38 PM	#2
Fishooked dealin' out shithands Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: teh interwebz Posts: 24,725	He has 'teh douchebag face' like Jay Cutler.

10-08-2012, 01:42 PM	#3
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,682	Perhaps he should change his name to Joran van der Slide and tell women he's a killer... you know... to help his image.

10-08-2012, 03:49 PM	#5
southside Forever Awesome All Pro Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 8,902	This hurts.® The only thing to make it better: