The JI Hampur Holiday - & - NY Jive Turkeys vs NE (c0ck) Gobblers Gameday Thread ಠ_ಠ

[Porgyman]

Originally Posted by 32green

Just bought a 23 lb. frozen block of dead bird for 31 bucks.

If Israel had any sense they'd be firing these things back at the Palestiranians, that would shut them the **** up right quick.

Just found out I have been assigned by the combined forces of wives to go with my bro in law into the city to see the parade with the kiddies.

On the bright side, he's pretty hooked up with the PD, so we should get some primo seating at teh expense of other families whose kids will be sh*t out of luck. Doesnt get any more heartwarming than that.

-

People are vicious at that parade! About 20 years ago, the Mrs and I took her little 6 year old niece. We get there...and there were these families standing there blocking her view. I asked a couple of people to just move a few inches each way to let her through. We were happy to stand in the back.
Well this one sack of excrement proceeds to say no...start yelling at her...and tossing the F bomb. Fortunately, a NYC cop stepped in...and ordered them to clear a spot for her.
Even better...before leaving a police horse took a massive dump right in front of the guys kids....freaking out his daughter.
Karma B**ches!!!

[Fishooked]

Originally Posted by Dirtstar

since we're talking about Holy War and all that nonsense, they should fire frozen hambs at those beetches.


call it "Operation Paula Deen"

Penalty Flag!

"Personal Foul - Illegal Ham To The Face!"

[Fishooked]

Also - this is the only Thanksgiving gif you will ever need.

[Lone Star Lady]

Originally Posted by Fishooked

Of course....it is for all things Thanksgiving. After all, who can afford to move around from thread to thread being all bloated and what not. I say we keep all 3 games in this thread, interspersed with tales of Thanksgiving hell.

I, unfortunately, will not be able to add to these tales.
Being 1800 miles from our nearest relatives (NY and CT), my husband and I will have a quiet Thanksgiving by ourselves. Just us, the turkey breast, and football.

So, the rest of you will have to regale us all with your family stories of turkey-day shenanigans!

[Lone Star Lady]

Originally Posted by Fishooked

Also - this is the only Thanksgiving gif you will ever need.

LMAO

[Fishooked]

Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady

I, unfortunately, will not be able to add to these tales.
Being 1800 miles from our nearest relatives (NY and CT), my husband and I will have a quiet Thanksgiving by ourselves. Just us, the turkey breast, and football.

So, the rest of you will have to regale us all with your family stories of turkey-day shenanigans!

Count your blessings - actually, do that 'give thanks' thing. I figure by 11am on Thursday there will already be several tales of fear & loathing by then - I'm sure there will be an update to 32g's parade outing at the very least.

[BushyTheBeaver]

Originally Posted by Ruby2

I want to go back in time and smack whoever decided that Turkey was to be the featured food of Thanksgiving.

What wikipedia say

Historical menus
Men eating a Thanksgiving dinner during World War I

According to what traditionally is known as "The First Thanksgiving," the 1621 feast between the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag at Plymouth Colony contained turkey, waterfowl, venison, fish, lobster, clams, berries, fruit, pumpkin, and squash. William Bradford noted that, "besides waterfowl, there was great store of wild turkeys, of which they took many."[2] Many of the foods that were included in that feast (except, notably, the seafood) have since gone on to become staples of the modern Thanksgiving dinner.

The use of the turkey in the USA for Thanksgiving precedes Lincoln's nationalization of the holiday in 1863. Alexander Hamilton proclaimed that no "Citizen of the United States should refrain from turkey on Thanksgiving Day," and many of the Founding Fathers (particularly Benjamin Franklin) had high regard for the wild turkey as an American icon, but turkey was uncommon as Thanksgiving fare until after 1800. By 1857, turkey had become part of the traditional dinner in New England.[3]

A Thanksgiving Day dinner served to the Civilian Conservation Corps in 1935 included pickles, green olives, celery, roast turkey, oyster stew, cranberry sauce, giblet gravy, dressing, creamed asparagus tips, snowflake potatoes, baked carrots, hot rolls, fruit salad, mince meat pie, fruit cake, candies, grapes, apples, French drip coffee, cigars and cigarettes.[4]
Turkey

Turkey being the most common main dish of a Thanksgiving dinner, Thanksgiving is sometimes colloquially called “Turkey Day.” In 2006, American turkey growers were expected to raise 270 million turkeys, to be processed into five billion pounds of turkey meat valued at almost $8 billion, with one third of all turkey consumption occurring in the Thanksgiving-Christmas season, and a per capita consumption of almost 18 pounds.[5]

Most Thanksgiving turkeys are stuffed with a bread-based stuffing and roasted. Sage is the traditional herb added to the stuffing (also called dressing), along with chopped celery, carrots, and onions. Deep-fried turkey is rising in popularity, requiring special fryers to hold the large bird, and reportedly leading to fires and bad burns for those who fail to take care when dealing with a large quantity of very hot oil. In more recent years it is also true that as the wild population of turkeys has rebounded in most of the US, some will hunt and dress their turkey in the woods and then freeze it until meal preparation.[citation needed]

Butterball, a national turkey producer, runs a well-known hotline (the "Turkey Talk Line") for those who need assistance cooking a turkey.[6]
Alternatives to turkey

Non-traditional foods other than turkey are sometimes served as the main dish for a Thanksgiving dinner. Ham is often served alongside turkey in many households. Goose and duck, foods which were traditional European centerpieces of Christmas dinners before being displaced, are now sometimes served in place of the Thanksgiving turkey. Sometimes, fowl native to the region where the meal is taking place is used; for example, an article in Texas Monthly magazine suggested quail as the main dish for a Texan Thanksgiving feast. John Madden, who appeared on television for the Thanksgiving Classic every year from 1981 to 2001, frequently advertised his fondness for the turducken, which is in fact three birds (turkey, duck and chicken) nested inside each other and cooked together; he has since disavowed the dish. In a few areas of the West Coast of the United States, Dungeness crab is common as an alternate main dish, as crab season starts in early November."Similarly, Thanksgiving falls within deer hunting season in the Northeastern United States, which encourages the use of venison as a centerpiece. Sometimes a variant recipe for cooking turkey is used; for example, a Chinese recipe for goose could be used on the similarly-sized American bird. Vegetarians or vegans may try Tofurky, a tofu-based roast, a Field Roast, which is a wheat-based product, or a special seasonal dish, such as stuffed squash. In Alaskan villages, whale meat is sometimes eaten.[1] Irish immigrants have been known to have prime rib of beef as their centerpiece as beef was once a rarity back in Ireland; in the past, families would save up money for this as a special sign of newfound prosperity and hope. In the United States, a new globalist approach to Thanksgiving has become popular due to the impact of massive immigration on the country. Some take the basic Thanksgiving ingredients, and reinvent them using flavors, techniques, and traditions from their own cuisines, while others celebrate the holiday with a large festive meal with or without turkey.[7] Given the working holiday it is also common for immigrant communities in North America to participate in the holiday by launching their own celebrations of the holiday. Thus, it is not uncommon to find Chinese and other large immigrant communities celebrating Thanksgiving in the same family spirit but with the food of the feast being of their own respective cultures instead.[8][9]

[quantum]

Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady

Absolutely!

<--- El Toro the Bull will be taking on the little lions of the motor city!

ya know, I didn't just pick the Texans because they're 9-1 (although I will admit to a certain amount of bandwaggoning): I've spent alot of time in Texas over the years (mostly Austin and Dallas), and its my favorite place. People are great, and the women are pretty, friendly, and have that pants-straightening twang.

[Fishooked]

Originally Posted by quantum

and the women are pretty, friendly, and have that pants-straightening twang.

They iron your pants?

[quantum]

Originally Posted by Fishooked

They iron your pants?

in a manner of speaking, hells yeah.

(really thought you would have went for "twang"....)

[crossfire]

When the schedule came out, I saw that we had a Thanksgiving day game again and then, just over a week later, the Jets had another home game on my anniversary.

Knowing I would never be able to go to both games, I already decided that I wanted to go to the Thanksgiving game and it would be an easy sell with our anniversary the next week. I knew there was no way she would let me off the hook on that one.

Here was the discussion:

Me: "The Jets schedule came out. There's a game on Thanksgiving again."

Wife "Another Thanksgiving game? You told me a few years ago that there wouldn't be another one for a decade."

Me: "I didn't think there would be."

Wife "Well, you're not going."

Me: "There's a game the next week and that's on our anniversary. And there is no way I'm missing both games."

Wife "Oh, I don't care about that. You're not going to the Thanksgiving game and you can take me out Saturday night for our anniversary instead of Sunday."

Me: (Walking away muttering to myself) "Well, that didn't f*cking go as planned."

[Peebag]

Originally Posted by crossfire

Me: (Walking away muttering to myself) "Well, that didn't f*cking go as planned."

Me with everything my wife has ever said to me.

[southside]

Originally Posted by crossfire

When the schedule came out, I saw that we had a Thanksgiving day game again and then, just over a week later, the Jets had another home game on my anniversary.

Knowing I would never be able to go to both games, I already decided that I wanted to go to the Thanksgiving game and it would be an easy sell with our anniversary the next week. I knew there was no way she would let me off the hook on that one.

Here was the discussion:

Me: "The Jets schedule came out. There's a game on Thanksgiving again."

Wife "Another Thanksgiving game? You told me a few years ago that there wouldn't be another one for a decade."

Me: "I didn't think there would be."

Wife "Well, you're not going."

Me: "There's a game the next week and that's on our anniversary. And there is no way I'm missing both games."

Wife "Oh, I don't care about that. You're not going to the Thanksgiving game and you can take me out Saturday night for our anniversary instead of Sunday."

Me: (Walking away muttering to myself) "Well, that didn't f*cking go as planned."

Haha. That's pretty funny.

[Carlton]

Originally Posted by crossfire

When the schedule came out, I saw that we had a Thanksgiving day game again and then, just over a week later, the Jets had another home game on my anniversary.

Knowing I would never be able to go to both games, I already decided that I wanted to go to the Thanksgiving game and it would be an easy sell with our anniversary the next week. I knew there was no way she would let me off the hook on that one.

Here was the discussion:

Me: "The Jets schedule came out. There's a game on Thanksgiving again."

Wife "Another Thanksgiving game? You told me a few years ago that there wouldn't be another one for a decade."

Me: "I didn't think there would be."

Wife "Well, you're not going."

Me: "There's a game the next week and that's on our anniversary. And there is no way I'm missing both games."

Wife "Oh, I don't care about that. You're not going to the Thanksgiving game and you can take me out Saturday night for our anniversary instead of Sunday."

Me: (Walking away muttering to myself) "Well, that didn't f*cking go as planned."

So good... from our side of the fence at least.

[Timmy®]

Originally Posted by Porgyman

About 20 years ago......Fortunately, a NYC cop stepped in...and ordered them to clear a spot for her.

well we know who it wasn't....because that would involve getting up from the donut counter.

[Jetworks]

Originally Posted by 32green

With your luck, you'd appear in his room as he was wanking like two days before he decided about Turkeys. He'd be like wtf dude and you'd be mesmerized by the hand action and he would pull a gun and blow your brains out.

-

Originally Posted by 32green

Edit; I thought you were Southside, disregard.

-

Whoa.




Waitaminute.




You thought that.......you were Southside?

[Dimitri_0515]

[SAR I]

Originally Posted by Lone Star Lady

I, unfortunately, will not be able to add to these tales.
Being 1800 miles from our nearest relatives (NY and CT), my husband and I will have a quiet Thanksgiving by ourselves. Just us, the turkey breast, and football.

So, the rest of you will have to regale us all with your family stories of turkey-day shenanigans!

Will you be giving the husband Thanksgiving sex?

While my wife will give it to me on Christmas, she always denies me on Thanksgiving. F-cking baked ziti.

SAR I

[Peebag]

Originally Posted by SAR I

Will you be giving the husband Thanksgiving sex?

While my wife will give it to me on Christmas, she always denies me on Thanksgiving. F-cking baked ziti.

SAR I

I don't think she's into feet, if that's what you mean.

[thebigragu]

Go jets?