"Why I Raise My Children Without God" - CNN Opinion

[Warfish]

Why I Raise My Children Without God

By TXBlue08 | Posted January 14, 2013 | Texas


CNN PRODUCER NOTE TXBlue08, a mother of two teenagers in Texas, blogs about raising her children without religion. She said she shared this essay on CNN iReport because 'I just felt there is not a voice out there for women/moms like me. I think people misunderstand or are fearful of people who don’t believe in God.'
- dsashin, CNN iReport producer

When my son was around 3 years old, he used to ask me a lot of questions about heaven. Where is it? How do people walk without a body? How will I find you? You know the questions that kids ask.

For over a year, I lied to him and made up stories that I didn’t believe about heaven. Like most parents, I love my child so much that I didn’t want him to be scared. I wanted him to feel safe and loved and full of hope. But the trade-off was that I would have to make stuff up, and I would have to brainwash him into believing stories that didn’t make sense, stories that I didn’t believe either.

One day he would know this, and he would not trust my judgment. He would know that I built an elaborate tale—not unlike the one we tell children about Santa—to explain the inconsistent and illogical legend of God.

And so I thought it was only right to be honest with my children. I am a non-believer, and for years I’ve been on the fringe in my community. As a blogger, though, I’ve found that there are many other parents out there like me. We are creating the next generation of kids, and there is a wave of young agnostics, atheists, free thinkers and humanists rising up through the ranks who will, hopefully, lower our nation’s religious fever.

Here are a few of the reasons why I am raising my children without God.

God is a bad parent and role model.
If God is our father, then he is not a good parent. Good parents don’t allow their children to inflict harm on others. Good people don’t stand by and watch horrible acts committed against innocent men, women and children. They don’t condone violence and abuse. “He has given us free will,” you say? Our children have free will, but we still step in and guide them.

God is not logical.
How many times have you heard, “Why did God allow this to happen?” And this: “It’s not for us to understand.” Translate: We don’t understand, so we will not think about it or deal with the issue. Take for example the senseless tragedy in Newtown. Rather than address the problem of guns in America, we defer responsibility to God. He had a reason. He wanted more angels. Only he knows why. We write poems saying that we told God to leave our schools. Now he’s making us pay the price. If there is a good, all-knowing, all-powerful God who loves his children, does it make sense that he would allow murders, child abuse, wars, brutal beatings, torture and millions of heinous acts to be committed throughout the history of mankind? Doesn’t this go against everything Christ taught us in the New Testament?

The question we should be asking is this: “Why did we allow this to happen?” How can we fix this? No imaginary person is going to give us the answers or tell us why. Only we have the ability to be logical and to problem solve, and we should not abdicate these responsibilities to “God” just because a topic is tough or uncomfortable to address.

God is not fair.
If God is fair, then why does he answer the silly prayers of some while allowing other, serious requests, to go unanswered? I have known people who pray that they can find money to buy new furniture. (Answered.) I have known people who pray to God to help them win a soccer match. (Answered.) Why are the prayers of parents with dying children not answered?

If God is fair, then why are some babies born with heart defects, autism, missing limbs or conjoined to another baby? Clearly, all men are not created equally. Why is a good man beaten senseless on the street while an evil man finds great wealth taking advantage of others? This is not fair. A game maker who allows luck to rule mankind’s existence has not created a fair game.

God does not protect the innocent.
He does not keep our children safe. As a society, we stand up and speak for those who cannot. We protect our little ones as much as possible. When a child is kidnapped, we work together to find the child. We do not tolerate abuse and neglect. Why can’t God, with all his powers of omnipotence, protect the innocent?

God is not present.
He is not here. Telling our children to love a person they cannot see, smell, touch or hear does not make sense. It means that we teach children to love an image, an image that lives only in their imaginations. What we teach them, in effect, is to love an idea that we have created, one that is based in our fears and our hopes.

God Does Not Teach Children to Be Good
A child should make moral choices for the right reasons. Telling him that he must behave because God is watching means that his morality will be externally focused rather than internally structured. It’s like telling a child to behave or Santa won’t bring presents. When we take God out of the picture, we place responsibility of doing the right thing onto the shoulders of our children. No, they won’t go to heaven or rule their own planets when they die, but they can sleep better at night. They will make their family proud. They will feel better about who they are. They will be decent people.

God Teaches Narcissism
“God has a plan for you.” Telling kids there is a big guy in the sky who has a special path for them makes children narcissistic; it makes them think the world is at their disposal and that, no matter what happens, it doesn’t really matter because God is in control. That gives kids a sense of false security and creates selfishness. “No matter what I do, God loves me and forgives me. He knows my purpose. I am special.” The irony is that, while we tell this story to our kids, other children are abused and murdered, starved and neglected. All part of God’s plan, right?

When we raise kids without God, we tell them the truth—we are no more special than the next creature. We are just a very, very small part of a big, big machine–whether that machine is nature or society–the influence we have is minuscule. The realization of our insignificance gives us a true sense of humbleness.

I understand why people need God. I understand why people need heaven. It is terrifying to think that we are all alone in this universe, that one day we—along with the children we love so much—will cease to exist. The idea of God and an afterlife gives many of us structure, community and hope.

I do not want religion to go away. I only want religion to be kept at home or in church where it belongs. It’s a personal effect, like a toothbrush or a pair of shoes. It’s not something to be used or worn by strangers. I want my children to be free not to believe and to know that our schools and our government will make decisions based on what is logical, just and fair—not on what they believe an imaginary God wants.

Given the trends, one wonders what the future of Religion is in America 20, 50 or 100 years from now.

[Bonhomme Richard]

All of her arguments are centered on, "If God is so great then why do bad things happen?"

I mean, if that's what you want to structure your whole point around, that's fine. But there are many more atheists out there who can structure a better, more cogent argument than this. Dawkins is the most famous example, and althouhj i don't agree with him at least he presents a viewpoint that which is worth arguing. This is a blogger whining that life isn't fair, and God is a bad parent. She doesnt want religion to go away but it wpuld be great if people concealed it like a toothbrush. CNN blows.

Tbh Warfish, I'm more concerned about the state of the media in 50 to 100 years. Anyone with half an opinion and even less of a brain can become the authority on whatever thought passes the cloudy, gaping recesses of their own conscious. And she says God promotes narcissism? LOL, ok BlogMommy.

[parafly]

Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard

All of her arguments are centered on, "If God is so great then why do bad things happen?"

I mean, if that's what you want to structure your whole point around, that's fine. But there are many more atheists out there who can structure a better, more cogent argument than this. Dawkins is the most famous example, and althouhj i don't agree with him at least he presents a viewpoint that which is worth arguing. This is a blogger whining that life isn't fair, and God is a bad parent. She doesnt want religion to go away but it wpuld be great if people concealed it like a toothbrush.

+1

I agree with the premise, but her arguments are terrible.

[Jungle Shift Jet]

DUMP for proselytizing idiocy

I live in a CNN-free world and it's fine

except for New Year's Eve coverage

[gunnails]

Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard

All of her arguments are centered on, "If God is so great then why do bad things happen?"

I mean, if that's what you want to structure your whole point around, that's fine. But there are many more atheists out there who can structure a better, more cogent argument than this. Dawkins is the most famous example, and althouhj i don't agree with him at least he presents a viewpoint that which is worth arguing. This is a blogger whining that life isn't fair, and God is a bad parent. She doesnt want religion to go away but it wpuld be great if people concealed it like a toothbrush. CNN blows.

Tbh Warfish, I'm more concerned about the state of the media in 50 to 100 years. Anyone with half an opinion and even less of a brain can become the authority on whatever thought passes the cloudy, gaping recesses of their own conscious. And she says God promotes narcissism? LOL, ok BlogMommy.

=============================================

+1, awesome post.

[Jetworks]

Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard

All of her arguments are centered on, "If God is so great then why do bad things happen?"

I mean, if that's what you want to structure your whole point around, that's fine. But there are many more atheists out there who can structure a better, more cogent argument than this. Dawkins is the most famous example, and althouhj i don't agree with him at least he presents a viewpoint that which is worth arguing. This is a blogger whining that life isn't fair, and God is a bad parent. She doesnt want religion to go away but it wpuld be great if people concealed it like a toothbrush. CNN blows.

Tbh Warfish, I'm more concerned about the state of the media in 50 to 100 years. Anyone with half an opinion and even less of a brain can become the authority on whatever thought passes the cloudy, gaping recesses of their own conscious. And she says God promotes narcissism? LOL, ok BlogMommy.

Wonderfully stated post. If that's the most vexing part of her argument, tell her to point Google to the riddle of Epicurus and some of the musings on it by St. Augustine. Then she'll at least have an understanding of what it takes to be a critical thinker.

[FF2®]

What was worrisome was CNN had a WARNING about this article and asked a poll question if this kind of talk should be on CNN?

As if we can't have a DISCUSSION about atheism. WTF.

[JetPotato]

Originally Posted by FF2®

What was worrisome was CNN had a WARNING about this article and asked a poll question if this kind of talk should be on CNN?

As if we can't have a DISCUSSION about atheism. WTF.

We should have a similar conversation about your posts

[WestCoastOffensive]

I'm a Buddhist and I think she's an ignorant ditz with her head up her own kids ass.


edit: good thoughts


Anyway, a few moments with jetswin would have this lady thinking right.

[Bonhomme Richard]

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

I'm a Buddhist and I think she's an ignorant ditz with her head up her own kids ass.

Awesome.

[Postseason]

I'd be curious to see how her kid ends up.

[Ruby2]

Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard

All of her arguments are centered on, "If God is so great then why do bad things happen?"

I mean, if that's what you want to structure your whole point around, that's fine. But there are many more atheists out there who can structure a better, more cogent argument than this. Dawkins is the most famous example, and althouhj i don't agree with him at least he presents a viewpoint that which is worth arguing. This is a blogger whining that life isn't fair, and God is a bad parent. She doesnt want religion to go away but it wpuld be great if people concealed it like a toothbrush. CNN blows.

Tbh Warfish, I'm more concerned about the state of the media in 50 to 100 years. Anyone with half an opinion and even less of a brain can become the authority on whatever thought passes the cloudy, gaping recesses of their own conscious. And she says God promotes narcissism? LOL, ok BlogMommy.

Great post, really nailed it. And this is coming from someone who leans to the thinking that there isn't a god. I don't understand why atheists have to advocate for atheism. To me that is fostering the very same principles you are against, i. e. organized ideologies.

[quantum]

Originally Posted by Bonhomme Richard

All of her arguments are centered on, "If God is so great then why do bad things happen?"

I mean, if that's what you want to structure your whole point around, that's fine. But there are many more atheists out there who can structure a better, more cogent argument than this. Dawkins is the most famous example, and althouhj i don't agree with him at least he presents a viewpoint that which is worth arguing. This is a blogger whining that life isn't fair, and God is a bad parent. She doesnt want religion to go away but it wpuld be great if people concealed it like a toothbrush. CNN blows.

Tbh Warfish, I'm more concerned about the state of the media in 50 to 100 years. Anyone with half an opinion and even less of a brain can become the authority on whatever thought passes the cloudy, gaping recesses of their own conscious. And she says God promotes narcissism? LOL, ok BlogMommy.

great post.

outstandingly awesome for a mod.

[PlumberKhan]

She went too far.

She could have just said "I don't raise my kids with God...because God promotes incest, slavery, rape, murder and genocide and I'd rather not have my kids 'worship' such a despicable piece of sh*t"....

[Timmy®]

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

I'm a Buddhist

i don't know why i didn't guess this.

do you have the different colored flags on your porch?

i've considered looking into this - tons of buddhists here.

[WestCoastOffensive]

Originally Posted by Timmy®

i don't know why i didn't guess this.

do you have the different colored flags on your porch?

i've considered looking into this - tons of buddhists here.

Red yellow and blue (tricolor)?


Nichiren Buddhism keeps bringing the mail.

[gunnails]

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

Red yellow and blue (tricolor)?


Nichiren Buddhism keeps bringing the mail.

================================================

Do you have a big ass gong on the front porch also, I never figured you for a Buddhist cause your not fat and bald, but it does make sense, you always come across so happy, calm, and at peace.

I should look into it, just don't think I could give up bacon.

[Timmy®]

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

Red yellow and blue (tricolor)?


Nichiren Buddhism keeps bringing the mail.

like these




I'd also wager on peace sign dog collars and leashes

[WestCoastOffensive]

Originally Posted by Timmy®

like these




I'd also wager on peace sign dog collars and leashes

Here's the look:




If I may, something I think you'd find interesting. Here is a great look at what a certain determination can accomplish through assistance from Nichiren Buddhism. In 1974 Japanese and Chinese society was really down on USSR leaders; ordinary citizen Daisaku Ikeda traveled to meet with Soviet Premier Kosygin, get his official word that he was not planning to attack China, which he then brought to the Chinese diplomats. Amazing.

http://www.daisakuikeda.org/main/pea.../peace-05.html

[Jungle Shift Jet]

Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive

Here's the look:

Looks like a French flag, only more cowardly with the yaller....

I agree, you put the "bud" in Buddhism in more ways than one...