Someone is Going To Be A Dad! I Gave Sperm At Work Today! - Page 3

Paradis · 05-12-2011, 11:51 AM

[QUOTE=WestCoastOffensive;1775247]My company has a large number of lesbians in executive leadership positions. These women are extremely intelligent, and well-trained. They are very successful, yet, for some reason they can't get each other pregnant. :scratch: The CEO said action needed to be taken, to ensure the future of the firm.

So, the boss rounded up all us guys that hate to work, and sent us to a part of the building where they gave us magazines (Penthouse! Awesome!) and small bottles and sent us to our own rooms.

I stole a Penthouse magazine, but I feel great anyway, knowing I will keep this great country working into the future.[/QUOTE]

I thought they test for substances?

Timmy® · 05-12-2011, 12:24 PM

[IMG]http://bighugelabs.com/output/motivatorbaafc62fe48438f4af15f3ffa256104b373861fe.jpg[/IMG]

Postseason · 05-12-2011, 12:29 PM

[QUOTE=pauliec;4026433]So are there any 3 year olds running around right now filled with you DNA?[/QUOTE]

Who are you, Chris Hansen?

Dirtstar · 05-12-2011, 12:39 PM

[QUOTE=Polidore22;4026702]No bull****. I saw him/her walking near my office recently on my way to work.[/QUOTE]

or it could've just been FF2.

how rude of you to not stop and say hello.

:dunno:

Carlton · 05-12-2011, 12:46 PM

[QUOTE=Dirtstar;4026921]or it could've just been FF2.

how rude of you to not stop and say hello.

:dunno:[/QUOTE]

:rofl: Ironically it was right outside a D&D... seriously.

Beerfish · 05-12-2011, 01:26 PM

Sooo WCO is that dude that jizzed in the woman's bottled water eh?

WestCoastOffensive · 05-12-2011, 01:54 PM

[QUOTE=Paradis;4026867]I thought they test for substances?[/QUOTE]

Well played, Squire. :high:

Dirtstar · 05-12-2011, 01:57 PM

[QUOTE=Beerfish;4026955]Sooo WCO is that dude that jizzed in the woman's bottled water eh?[/QUOTE]

she wishes.

WestCoastOffensive · 05-12-2011, 02:31 PM

[QUOTE=Dirtstar;4026985]she wishes.[/QUOTE]

:hifive:

Dirtstar · 05-12-2011, 03:21 PM

[QUOTE=Beerfish;4026955]Sooo WCO is that dude that jizzed in the woman's bottled water eh?[/QUOTE]

[IMG]http://damnyouautocorrect.com/images/coming-face.jpg[/IMG]

FijiJet · 05-13-2011, 12:17 AM

This thread is crazy!

CanadaSteve · 05-13-2011, 09:55 AM

[QUOTE=southparkcpa;4026707]Turkey baster............[/QUOTE]

Do I want to know how he got his sperm in the turkey baster?

shakin318 · 05-13-2011, 10:00 AM

[QUOTE=nyahay bus;4026827]Being authorized to jack off on the company dime IS something to brag about. :yes:[/QUOTE]

Getting away with it without the authorization = winninger.

Carlton · 05-13-2011, 10:03 AM

[QUOTE=shakin318;4027487]Getting away with it without the authorization = winninger.[/QUOTE]

It's good to have shakin in the hampur more... god knows we need some new blood in this ****hole.

shakin318 · 05-13-2011, 10:08 AM

[QUOTE=Polidore22;4027494]It's good to have shakin in the hampur more... god knows we need some new blood in this ****hole.[/QUOTE]

hahaaa....yeah, I'm getting tired of being "that jagoff" in the poli forum. So I thought I'd blend right into the woodwork here

Carlton · 05-13-2011, 10:15 AM

[QUOTE=shakin318;4027502]hahaaa....yeah, I'm getting tired of being "that jagoff" in the poli forum. So I thought I'd blend right into the woodwork here[/QUOTE]

God.. I can't even venture in there anymore. It's terrifying.

CanadaSteve · 05-13-2011, 10:18 AM

wouldn't an eye dropper be more appropriate than a turkey baster....seriously, how much sperm does a lesbian need to get pregnant?

shakin318 · 05-13-2011, 10:58 AM

[QUOTE=CanadaSteve;4027516]wouldn't an eye dropper be more appropriate than a turkey baster....seriously, how much sperm does a lesbian need to get pregnant?[/QUOTE]

It depends:

[IMG]http://fcbahistory.pbworks.com/f/1281537005/Portia%20de%20Rossi%2002.jpg[/IMG] [B] = Bring teh eyedropper[/B]

[IMG]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_R-l1iejogZw/SX-eEKGWYXI/AAAAAAAACDk/wG9suJhZJmw/s320/Rosie+O%27Donnell+Sheikh+Mohammed.jpg[/IMG] [B]= Bring teh commercial-grade caulk gun[/B]

Dirtstar · 05-13-2011, 11:21 AM

[QUOTE=shakin318;4027563]It depends:

[IMG]http://fcbahistory.pbworks.com/f/1281537005/Portia%20de%20Rossi%2002.jpg[/IMG] [B] = Bring teh eyedropper[/B]

[IMG]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_R-l1iejogZw/SX-eEKGWYXI/AAAAAAAACDk/wG9suJhZJmw/s320/Rosie+O%27Donnell+Sheikh+Mohammed.jpg[/IMG] [B]= Bring teh commercial-grade cock gun[/B][/QUOTE]

fixed :eek:

:barf: :barf:

05-12-2011, 11:51 AM	#41
Paradis Is waiting for Ryan Mallet All Pro Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: the 80s Posts: 7,108	[QUOTE=WestCoastOffensive;1775247]My company has a large number of lesbians in executive leadership positions. These women are extremely intelligent, and well-trained. They are very successful, yet, for some reason they can't get each other pregnant. :scratch: The CEO said action needed to be taken, to ensure the future of the firm. So, the boss rounded up all us guys that hate to work, and sent us to a part of the building where they gave us magazines (Penthouse! Awesome!) and small bottles and sent us to our own rooms. I stole a Penthouse magazine, but I feel great anyway, knowing I will keep this great country working into the future.[/QUOTE] I thought they test for substances?

05-12-2011, 12:24 PM	#42
Timmy® JI's own Reverend Jim. Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Vermont Posts: 23,523	[IMG]http://bighugelabs.com/output/motivatorbaafc62fe48438f4af15f3ffa256104b373861fe.jpg[/IMG]

05-12-2011, 12:29 PM	#43
Postseason Veteran Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 1,088	[QUOTE=pauliec;4026433]So are there any 3 year olds running around right now filled with you DNA?[/QUOTE] Who are you, Chris Hansen?

05-12-2011, 12:39 PM	#44
Dirtstar Snubbed a man just to watch him cry. Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 15,796	[QUOTE=Polidore22;4026702]No bull****. I saw him/her walking near my office recently on my way to work.[/QUOTE] or it could've just been FF2. how rude of you to not stop and say hello. :dunno:

05-12-2011, 12:46 PM	#45
Carlton Teh jobless idle spawn of wealth guy. All Pro Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,386	[QUOTE=Dirtstar;4026921]or it could've just been FF2. how rude of you to not stop and say hello. :dunno:[/QUOTE] :rofl: Ironically it was right outside a D&D... seriously.

05-12-2011, 01:26 PM	#46
Beerfish Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2004 Posts: 19,090	Sooo WCO is that dude that jizzed in the woman's bottled water eh?

05-12-2011, 01:54 PM	#47
WestCoastOffensive Lying to the Smithsonian Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: SF via Strong Island Posts: 26,682	[QUOTE=Paradis;4026867]I thought they test for substances?[/QUOTE] Well played, Squire. :high:

05-12-2011, 01:57 PM	#48
Dirtstar Snubbed a man just to watch him cry. Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 15,796	[QUOTE=Beerfish;4026955]Sooo WCO is that dude that jizzed in the woman's bottled water eh?[/QUOTE] she wishes.

05-12-2011, 02:31 PM	#49
WestCoastOffensive Lying to the Smithsonian Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: SF via Strong Island Posts: 26,682	[QUOTE=Dirtstar;4026985]she wishes.[/QUOTE] :hifive:

05-12-2011, 03:21 PM	#50
Dirtstar Snubbed a man just to watch him cry. Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 15,796	[QUOTE=Beerfish;4026955]Sooo WCO is that dude that jizzed in the woman's bottled water eh?[/QUOTE] [IMG]http://damnyouautocorrect.com/images/coming-face.jpg[/IMG]

05-13-2011, 12:17 AM	#51
FijiJet waiting for our pass rush thunderbolt All League Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 3,439	This thread is crazy!

05-13-2011, 09:55 AM	#52
CanadaSteve Liked the draft picks....meat and potatoes. All Pro Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: London, Ontario Posts: 6,514	[QUOTE=southparkcpa;4026707]Turkey baster............[/QUOTE] Do I want to know how he got his sperm in the turkey baster?

05-13-2011, 10:00 AM	#53
shakin318 Beslubbering beef-witted lout Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Charter JI Member Join Date: May 1999 Location: Funkytown Posts: 7,181	[QUOTE=nyahay bus;4026827]Being authorized to jack off on the company dime IS something to brag about. :yes:[/QUOTE] Getting away with it without the authorization = winninger.

05-13-2011, 10:03 AM	#54
Carlton Teh jobless idle spawn of wealth guy. All Pro Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,386	[QUOTE=shakin318;4027487]Getting away with it without the authorization = winninger.[/QUOTE] It's good to have shakin in the hampur more... god knows we need some new blood in this ****hole.

05-13-2011, 10:08 AM	#55
shakin318 Beslubbering beef-witted lout Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Charter JI Member Join Date: May 1999 Location: Funkytown Posts: 7,181	[QUOTE=Polidore22;4027494]It's good to have shakin in the hampur more... god knows we need some new blood in this ****hole.[/QUOTE] hahaaa....yeah, I'm getting tired of being "that jagoff" in the poli forum. So I thought I'd blend right into the woodwork here

05-13-2011, 10:15 AM	#56
Carlton Teh jobless idle spawn of wealth guy. All Pro Join Date: Mar 2006 Posts: 7,386	[QUOTE=shakin318;4027502]hahaaa....yeah, I'm getting tired of being "that jagoff" in the poli forum. So I thought I'd blend right into the woodwork here[/QUOTE] God.. I can't even venture in there anymore. It's terrifying.

05-13-2011, 10:18 AM	#57
CanadaSteve Liked the draft picks....meat and potatoes. All Pro Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: London, Ontario Posts: 6,514	wouldn't an eye dropper be more appropriate than a turkey baster....seriously, how much sperm does a lesbian need to get pregnant?

05-13-2011, 10:58 AM	#58
shakin318 Beslubbering beef-witted lout Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Charter JI Member Join Date: May 1999 Location: Funkytown Posts: 7,181	[QUOTE=CanadaSteve;4027516]wouldn't an eye dropper be more appropriate than a turkey baster....seriously, how much sperm does a lesbian need to get pregnant?[/QUOTE] It depends: [IMG]http://fcbahistory.pbworks.com/f/1281537005/Portia%20de%20Rossi%2002.jpg[/IMG] [B] = Bring teh eyedropper[/B] [IMG]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_R-l1iejogZw/SX-eEKGWYXI/AAAAAAAACDk/wG9suJhZJmw/s320/Rosie+O%27Donnell+Sheikh+Mohammed.jpg[/IMG] [B]= Bring teh commercial-grade caulk gun[/B]

05-13-2011, 11:21 AM	#59
Dirtstar Snubbed a man just to watch him cry. Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 15,796	[QUOTE=shakin318;4027563]It depends: [IMG]http://fcbahistory.pbworks.com/f/1281537005/Portia%20de%20Rossi%2002.jpg[/IMG] [B] = Bring teh eyedropper[/B] [IMG]http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_R-l1iejogZw/SX-eEKGWYXI/AAAAAAAACDk/wG9suJhZJmw/s320/Rosie+O%27Donnell+Sheikh+Mohammed.jpg[/IMG] [B]= Bring teh commercial-grade cock gun[/B][/QUOTE] fixed :eek: :barf: :barf: