Domestic violence: Duluth Program

82nd Airborne · 05-12-2010, 06:28 AM

This is a 26 week program intended to change behavior. The program utilizes two wheels: the wheel of power and control and the wheel of equality. Offenders normally realize their faults around 10 weeks into the program, but few will go on maintaining their status at the power and control wheel by continuing denying, blaming or minimizing their faults.

Below is a comparison/contrast between both wheels...question, which wheel do you fit in?

Using coercion and threats

* using physical assaults against anyone - including any hit or slap
* making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt others
* threatening to leave others, to commit suicide, to report others to welfare or other external authorities
* making others drop charges
* making others do illegal things

Negotiation and fairness

* seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
* accepting change
* being willing to compromise

Using intimidation

* making others afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
* smashing things
* destroying others' property
* abusing pets or other animals
* displaying weapons (such as knives)

Non-threatening behaviour

* talking and acting so that both self and others feel safe and comfortable expressing themselves and doing things

Using economic abuse

* preventing others from getting or keeping a job
* making others ask for money
* giving others a restricted or conditional 'allowance'
* taking others’ money (including using others as 'providers')
* not letting family others know about or have access to family income

Economic partnership

* making money decisions together
* making sure both others and self benefit from financial arrangements

Using emotional abuse

* putting others down
* making others feel bad about themselves
* calling others names
* making others think they’re crazy
* playing mind-games
* humiliating others
* attempting to control others' feelings
* forcing others to control or deny what they feel
* making others feel guilty

Respect

* listening to others non-judgmentally
* being emotionally affirming and understanding, both of self and others
* valuing opinions of both self and others

Using sexuality

* acting as the 'owner' of others' sexuality
* ignoring or overriding others' sexual choices, feelings or fears
* denying or mocking others' sexuality
* promising or withholding sex to control or punish others
* blaming others for sexual miscommunication
* using pornography or sexual/romantic fiction to justify sexual abuse
* assigning to others the sole responsibility for sexual safety and birth-control
* misleading others about sexual safety and birth-control

Sexual respect and trust

* respecting each others' sexuality as real and natural
* being open and honest with each other about sexual needs, desires, feelings and fears
* being responsible with each other about safe sex and birth-control
* negotiating mutually appropriate types and levels of sexual relationship

Using gender privilege and social privilege

* treating others like servants
* excluding others from making decisions that concern them ('making all the big decisions')
* acting like the ‘owner’ of others -- assuming ‘authority’ from social stereotypes
* being the one to define male and female roles, or other social or familial roles

Shared responsibility

* mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work
* making family decisions and other social decisions together

Using isolation

* controlling what others do, who they see and talk to, what they read, where they go
* limiting others’ outside involvement
* using jealousy or envy to justify actions against others

Trust and support

* supporting both self and others’ goals in life
* respecting self and others’ right to their own feelings, friends, activities and opinions

Using children

* making others feel guilty about their children
* using the children to relay messages
* using visitation to harass others
* threatening to take the children away

Responsible parenting

* sharing parental responsibilities
* being a positive non-violent role model for children

Using others (third-party abuse)

* spreading rumours about others
* misinforming third-parties (family, friends, colleagues, police, court, state agencies) about others' life or actions
* denigrating others' natural groups (sex, nationality, race, birth-religion, etc.)
* using stories to justify actions against others

Social self-responsibility

* being aware and honest with each other
* sharing social respect and social responsibility
* creating trust with others and with the wider community
* respecting each others' history, background and humanity

Minimizing, denying and blaming

* making light of the abuse and not taking others’ concerns about it seriously
* saying the abuse didn’t happen
* shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour
* saying others caused it

Honesty and accountability

* accepting responsibility for self, and about others
* acknowledging past use of violence and abuse
* admitting being wrong
* communicating openly and truthfully

jetswin · 05-12-2010, 07:21 AM

wtf is this?...

please, somewhere else

82nd Airborne · 05-12-2010, 07:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jetswin

wtf is this?...

please, somewhere else

IMO good information. By the way, I have done my homework, this is great source of information to help someone realize who they are.

32green · 05-24-2010, 07:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jetswin

wtf is this?...

lmao

Banks81 · 05-26-2010, 02:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jetswin

wtf is this?...

05-12-2010, 06:28 AM	#1
82nd Airborne Fugk transnational corporates! Banned Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,768	Domestic violence: Duluth Program This is a 26 week program intended to change behavior. The program utilizes two wheels: the wheel of power and control and the wheel of equality. Offenders normally realize their faults around 10 weeks into the program, but few will go on maintaining their status at the power and control wheel by continuing denying, blaming or minimizing their faults. Below is a comparison/contrast between both wheels...question, which wheel do you fit in? Using coercion and threats * using physical assaults against anyone - including any hit or slap * making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt others * threatening to leave others, to commit suicide, to report others to welfare or other external authorities * making others drop charges * making others do illegal things Negotiation and fairness * seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict * accepting change * being willing to compromise Using intimidation * making others afraid by using looks, actions, gestures * smashing things * destroying others' property * abusing pets or other animals * displaying weapons (such as knives) Non-threatening behaviour * talking and acting so that both self and others feel safe and comfortable expressing themselves and doing things Using economic abuse * preventing others from getting or keeping a job * making others ask for money * giving others a restricted or conditional 'allowance' * taking others’ money (including using others as 'providers') * not letting family others know about or have access to family income Economic partnership * making money decisions together * making sure both others and self benefit from financial arrangements Using emotional abuse * putting others down * making others feel bad about themselves * calling others names * making others think they’re crazy * playing mind-games * humiliating others * attempting to control others' feelings * forcing others to control or deny what they feel * making others feel guilty Respect * listening to others non-judgmentally * being emotionally affirming and understanding, both of self and others * valuing opinions of both self and others Using sexuality * acting as the 'owner' of others' sexuality * ignoring or overriding others' sexual choices, feelings or fears * denying or mocking others' sexuality * promising or withholding sex to control or punish others * blaming others for sexual miscommunication * using pornography or sexual/romantic fiction to justify sexual abuse * assigning to others the sole responsibility for sexual safety and birth-control * misleading others about sexual safety and birth-control Sexual respect and trust * respecting each others' sexuality as real and natural * being open and honest with each other about sexual needs, desires, feelings and fears * being responsible with each other about safe sex and birth-control * negotiating mutually appropriate types and levels of sexual relationship Using gender privilege and social privilege * treating others like servants * excluding others from making decisions that concern them ('making all the big decisions') * acting like the ‘owner’ of others -- assuming ‘authority’ from social stereotypes * being the one to define male and female roles, or other social or familial roles Shared responsibility * mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work * making family decisions and other social decisions together Using isolation * controlling what others do, who they see and talk to, what they read, where they go * limiting others’ outside involvement * using jealousy or envy to justify actions against others Trust and support * supporting both self and others’ goals in life * respecting self and others’ right to their own feelings, friends, activities and opinions Using children * making others feel guilty about their children * using the children to relay messages * using visitation to harass others * threatening to take the children away Responsible parenting * sharing parental responsibilities * being a positive non-violent role model for children Using others (third-party abuse) * spreading rumours about others * misinforming third-parties (family, friends, colleagues, police, court, state agencies) about others' life or actions * denigrating others' natural groups (sex, nationality, race, birth-religion, etc.) * using stories to justify actions against others Social self-responsibility * being aware and honest with each other * sharing social respect and social responsibility * creating trust with others and with the wider community * respecting each others' history, background and humanity Minimizing, denying and blaming * making light of the abuse and not taking others’ concerns about it seriously * saying the abuse didn’t happen * shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour * saying others caused it Honesty and accountability * accepting responsibility for self, and about others * acknowledging past use of violence and abuse * admitting being wrong * communicating openly and truthfully

05-12-2010, 07:21 AM	#2
jetswin stumblin mumblin butt fumblin Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP JetsInsider.com Legend Charter JI Member Join Date: May 1999 Location: Westchester Co. Posts: 35,461	wtf is this?... please, somewhere else