The latest Debacle

quantum · 09-21-2011, 08:59 AM

:(

So I'm pulling into the train parking lot this morning, half asleep, on autopilot, and see a parking space that's between 2 relatively nice cars (Audi and some non-descript Japanese sedan). The woman in the Audi has parked very poorly in her spot, not over the line, but crooked and close to it. I need some maneuvering to get in. I have my window open and as I'm pulling in mutter "oh look at this mess". She may have heard me - don't know. She gets back into her car, straightens it out, looks over and smiles. I wave and smile back.

(I'm actually shocked that someone would do this, considering the amount and severity of parking outrages I see every day.)

As I'm walking towards the platform, I realize I'm catching up to her. From the back, she looks pretty good, but I"m pretty sure she has 4-6 years on me. As I pull even with her, she looks over:

me: thanks again
her: no problem. nice car. I noticed you've parked next to me before.
me: I'm extra careful and I figure people with nice cars will be also.

(and then I slip)

me: I have really big balls

:eek:

her: I'm sorry - what did you say?

me: I have very big doors. 2 door sports cars are like that.

her: I guess so.

me: have a good day.

her: you too.

I don't think she saw me turn red.
:O

Borgoguy · 09-21-2011, 09:09 AM

LOL. You have finally lost it completely. WTF were you thinking with the "big balls" comment? That's classic. You're lucky she didn't slap the s hit out of you.

RaoulDuke · 09-21-2011, 09:10 AM

I LOL'd

:D

"I have to be careful that MY HUGE COCK won't dent your door"

quantum · 09-21-2011, 09:11 AM

[QUOTE=Borgoguy;4152529]LOL. You have finally lost it completely. WTF were you thinking with the "big balls" comment? That's classic. You're lucky she didn't slap the s hit out of you.[/QUOTE]

It was a slip - I swear. I was really embarrassed.

besides - ever see the Camaro's doors? They're huge and heavy.

crossfire · 09-21-2011, 09:12 AM

[QUOTE=quantum;4152523](and then I slip)

me: I have really big balls

:eek:

her: I'm sorry - what did you say?[/QUOTE]

[B]quantum:[/B] I have elephantitis of the nuts. It's pretty tasty. Wanna see?

[B]her:[/B] No thank you.

[B]quantum:[/B] It's really hard to park a car with them.

[B]quantum:[/B] Oh, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?

[B]her:[/B] Can't you just leave me alone?

[B]quantum:[/B] I mean, I have a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because my nuts would ride shotgun

Borgoguy · 09-21-2011, 09:13 AM

[QUOTE=quantum;4152534]It was a slip - I swear. I was really embarrassed.

besides - ever see the Camaro's doors? They're huge and heavy.[/QUOTE]

Who'd the chick look like? More importantly, are your balls really massive or was that a bit of hyperbole?

NYJCAP2 · 09-21-2011, 09:13 AM

She heard you mutter under your breast, I mean breathe, a parking spot over, over the car engine, and possibly the radio....

I'm sure she didn't hear your balls.

Don't sweat. No one likes big sweaty balls.

Ps. Updates tomorrow morning please.

quantum · 09-21-2011, 09:20 AM

Bottle blonde, about 5'9"(?), thin, facially, about a 6. Too skinny for my tastes, but nice butt.

I have to start taking an earlier train soon because my office is moving, so I may start this tomorrow. :O

quantum · 09-21-2011, 09:22 AM

[QUOTE=Borgoguy;4152537]Who'd the chick look like? More importantly, are your balls really massive or was that a bit of hyperbole?[/QUOTE]

I can assure you that this was not some kind of crude pickup line. It was a Freudian Slip, coupled with being half asleep.

Borgoguy · 09-21-2011, 09:27 AM

[QUOTE=quantum;4152553]I can assure you that this was not some kind of crude pickup line. It was a Freudian Slip, coupled with being half asleep.[/QUOTE]

Geez. I can't imagine how you felt. One of those times when you feel the blood draining from your brain as you realize what words you said.

RaoulDuke · 09-21-2011, 09:28 AM

On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend.

I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close.

Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6.

Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’.

‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’

Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.

JetPotato · 09-21-2011, 09:29 AM

This thread useless without pics.

RaoulDuke · 09-21-2011, 09:29 AM

[QUOTE=JetPotato;4152567]This thread useless without pics.[/QUOTE]
Of his balls? :eek:

crossfire · 09-21-2011, 09:31 AM

Ouch! But I'm sure he knew it was exactly what it was, just a sports term. But I would have felt like sh!t too.

Borgoguy · 09-21-2011, 09:33 AM

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152562]On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend.

I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close.

Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6.

Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’.

‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’

Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.[/QUOTE]

Oh, God. I jump off a bridge after saying that.

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152569]Of his balls? :eek:[/QUOTE]

LOL!

RussianGreen · 09-21-2011, 09:43 AM

You should have said "I have huge penis". Girls are more into dicks then balls from my experience. Thus explains your failure to get her interested.

32green · 09-21-2011, 09:45 AM

[QUOTE=quantum;4152523]:(

So I'm pulling into the train parking lot this morning, half asleep, on autopilot, and see a parking space that's between 2 relatively nice cars (Audi and some non-descript Japanese sedan). The woman in the Audi has parked very poorly in her spot, not over the line, but crooked and close to it. I need some maneuvering to get in. I have my window open and as I'm pulling in mutter "oh look at this mess". She may have heard me - don't know. She gets back into her car, straightens it out, looks over and smiles. I wave and smile back.

(I'm actually shocked that someone would do this, considering the amount and severity of parking outrages I see every day.)

As I'm walking towards the platform, I realize I'm catching up to her. From the back, she looks pretty good, but I"m pretty sure she has 4-6 years on me. As I pull even with her, she looks over:

me: thanks again
her: no problem. nice car. I noticed you've parked next to me before.
me: I'm extra careful and I figure people with nice cars will be also.

(and then I slip)

me: I have really big balls

:eek:

her: I'm sorry - what did you say?

me: I have very big doors. 2 door sports cars are like that.

her: I guess so.

me: have a good day.

her: you too.

I don't think she saw me turn red.
:O[/QUOTE]

Just think, she will be imagining your balls all day now. Human nature.

:yes:

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152562]On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend.

I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close.

Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6.

Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’.

‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’

Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.[/QUOTE]

Is it turble that 4 jokes immediately flew into my brain after reading this? :eek:

One of them was good too.

I'll decline out of respect for the solemnity of teh subject.

:(

RaoulDuke · 09-21-2011, 09:50 AM

[QUOTE=32green;4152591]Is it turble that 4 jokes immediately flew into my brain after reading this? :eek:

One of them was good too.

I'll decline out of respect for the solemnity of teh subject.

:([/QUOTE]

It's a very bizarre situation having lived something so personal and so traumatising with people that you don't consider close. In other words, I don't feel close enough to this guy where I could ask him how he's holding up. I'd feel like I'm intruding.

32green · 09-21-2011, 09:53 AM

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152600]It's a very bizarre situation having lived something so personal and so traumatising with people that you don't consider close. In other words, I don't feel close enough to this guy where I could ask him how he's holding up. I'd feel like I'm intruding.[/QUOTE]

Its gotta be awkward, even having your kids around them prolly makes you feel guilty.

:eek:

RaoulDuke · 09-21-2011, 09:54 AM

[QUOTE=32green;4152605]Its gotta be awkward, even having your kids around them prolly makes you feel guilty.

:eek:[/QUOTE]
You have no idea... Our daughter was born 3 weeks before theirs.

Anywhoo, back to Quantum's ball sackk!

09-21-2011, 08:59 AM	#1
quantum GFY Snatchez! Hall Of Fame Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: LI Posts: 17,884	The latest Debacle :( So I'm pulling into the train parking lot this morning, half asleep, on autopilot, and see a parking space that's between 2 relatively nice cars (Audi and some non-descript Japanese sedan). The woman in the Audi has parked very poorly in her spot, not over the line, but crooked and close to it. I need some maneuvering to get in. I have my window open and as I'm pulling in mutter "oh look at this mess". She may have heard me - don't know. She gets back into her car, straightens it out, looks over and smiles. I wave and smile back. (I'm actually shocked that someone would do this, considering the amount and severity of parking outrages I see every day.) As I'm walking towards the platform, I realize I'm catching up to her. From the back, she looks pretty good, but I"m pretty sure she has 4-6 years on me. As I pull even with her, she looks over: me: thanks again her: no problem. nice car. I noticed you've parked next to me before. me: I'm extra careful and I figure people with nice cars will be also. (and then I slip) me: I have really big balls :eek: her: I'm sorry - what did you say? me: I have very big doors. 2 door sports cars are like that. her: I guess so. me: have a good day. her: you too. I don't think she saw me turn red. :O

09-21-2011, 09:28 AM	#11
RaoulDuke Son of Ham Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Paris, France Posts: 11,870	On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend. I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close. Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6. Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’. ‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’ Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole. Last edited by RaoulDuke; 09-21-2011 at 09:30 AM.

09-21-2011, 09:09 AM	#2
Borgoguy Not one image until my posts are restored. Veteran Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,382	LOL. You have finally lost it completely. WTF were you thinking with the "big balls" comment? That's classic. You're lucky she didn't slap the s hit out of you.

09-21-2011, 09:10 AM	#3
RaoulDuke Son of Ham Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Paris, France Posts: 11,870	I LOL'd :D "I have to be careful that MY HUGE COCK won't dent your door"

09-21-2011, 09:11 AM	#4
quantum GFY Snatchez! Hall Of Fame Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: LI Posts: 17,884	[QUOTE=Borgoguy;4152529]LOL. You have finally lost it completely. WTF were you thinking with the "big balls" comment? That's classic. You're lucky she didn't slap the s hit out of you.[/QUOTE] It was a slip - I swear. I was really embarrassed. besides - ever see the Camaro's doors? They're huge and heavy.

09-21-2011, 09:12 AM	#5
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,672	[QUOTE=quantum;4152523](and then I slip) me: I have really big balls :eek: her: I'm sorry - what did you say?[/QUOTE] [B]quantum:[/B] I have elephantitis of the nuts. It's pretty tasty. Wanna see? [B]her:[/B] No thank you. [B]quantum:[/B] It's really hard to park a car with them. [B]quantum:[/B] Oh, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this? [B]her:[/B] Can't you just leave me alone? [B]quantum:[/B] I mean, I have a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because my nuts would ride shotgun

09-21-2011, 09:13 AM	#6
Borgoguy Not one image until my posts are restored. Veteran Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,382	[QUOTE=quantum;4152534]It was a slip - I swear. I was really embarrassed. besides - ever see the Camaro's doors? They're huge and heavy.[/QUOTE] Who'd the chick look like? More importantly, are your balls really massive or was that a bit of hyperbole?

09-21-2011, 09:13 AM	#7
NYJCAP2 All League Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Boston Posts: 3,816	She heard you mutter under your breast, I mean breathe, a parking spot over, over the car engine, and possibly the radio.... I'm sure she didn't hear your balls. Don't sweat. No one likes big sweaty balls. Ps. Updates tomorrow morning please.

09-21-2011, 09:20 AM	#8
quantum GFY Snatchez! Hall Of Fame Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: LI Posts: 17,884	Bottle blonde, about 5'9"(?), thin, facially, about a 6. Too skinny for my tastes, but nice butt. I have to start taking an earlier train soon because my office is moving, so I may start this tomorrow. :O

09-21-2011, 09:22 AM	#9
quantum GFY Snatchez! Hall Of Fame Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: LI Posts: 17,884	[QUOTE=Borgoguy;4152537]Who'd the chick look like? More importantly, are your balls really massive or was that a bit of hyperbole?[/QUOTE] I can assure you that this was not some kind of crude pickup line. It was a Freudian Slip, coupled with being half asleep.

09-21-2011, 09:27 AM	#10
Borgoguy Not one image until my posts are restored. Veteran Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,382	[QUOTE=quantum;4152553]I can assure you that this was not some kind of crude pickup line. It was a Freudian Slip, coupled with being half asleep.[/QUOTE] Geez. I can't imagine how you felt. One of those times when you feel the blood draining from your brain as you realize what words you said.

09-21-2011, 09:29 AM	#12
JetPotato fermenting Hall Of Fame Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: New York, NY Posts: 12,134	This thread useless without pics.

09-21-2011, 09:31 AM	#14
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,672	Ouch! But I'm sure he knew it was exactly what it was, just a sports term. But I would have felt like sh!t too.

09-21-2011, 09:33 AM	#15
Borgoguy Not one image until my posts are restored. Veteran Join Date: Sep 2007 Posts: 1,382	[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152562]On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend. I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close. Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6. Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’. ‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’ Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.[/QUOTE] Oh, God. I jump off a bridge after saying that. [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152569]Of his balls? :eek:[/QUOTE] LOL!

09-21-2011, 09:43 AM	#16
RussianGreen hates you Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Feb 2006 Posts: 4,416	You should have said "I have huge penis". Girls are more into dicks then balls from my experience. Thus explains your failure to get her interested.

09-21-2011, 09:45 AM	#17
32green The original road-kill pus slurper. MMMmmm pus. Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: The depths of Despair. Posts: 37,672	[QUOTE=quantum;4152523]:( So I'm pulling into the train parking lot this morning, half asleep, on autopilot, and see a parking space that's between 2 relatively nice cars (Audi and some non-descript Japanese sedan). The woman in the Audi has parked very poorly in her spot, not over the line, but crooked and close to it. I need some maneuvering to get in. I have my window open and as I'm pulling in mutter "oh look at this mess". She may have heard me - don't know. She gets back into her car, straightens it out, looks over and smiles. I wave and smile back. (I'm actually shocked that someone would do this, considering the amount and severity of parking outrages I see every day.) As I'm walking towards the platform, I realize I'm catching up to her. From the back, she looks pretty good, but I"m pretty sure she has 4-6 years on me. As I pull even with her, she looks over: me: thanks again her: no problem. nice car. I noticed you've parked next to me before. me: I'm extra careful and I figure people with nice cars will be also. (and then I slip) me: I have really big balls :eek: her: I'm sorry - what did you say? me: I have very big doors. 2 door sports cars are like that. her: I guess so. me: have a good day. her: you too. I don't think she saw me turn red. :O[/QUOTE] Just think, she will be imagining your balls all day now. Human nature. :yes: [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152562]On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend. I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close. Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6. Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’. ‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’ Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.[/QUOTE] Is it turble that 4 jokes immediately flew into my brain after reading this? :eek: One of them was good too. I'll decline out of respect for the solemnity of teh subject. :(

09-21-2011, 09:50 AM	#18
RaoulDuke Son of Ham Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Paris, France Posts: 11,870	[QUOTE=32green;4152591]Is it turble that 4 jokes immediately flew into my brain after reading this? :eek: One of them was good too. I'll decline out of respect for the solemnity of teh subject. :([/QUOTE] It's a very bizarre situation having lived something so personal and so traumatising with people that you don't consider close. In other words, I don't feel close enough to this guy where I could ask him how he's holding up. I'd feel like I'm intruding.

09-21-2011, 09:53 AM	#19
32green The original road-kill pus slurper. MMMmmm pus. Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: The depths of Despair. Posts: 37,672	[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4152600]It's a very bizarre situation having lived something so personal and so traumatising with people that you don't consider close. In other words, I don't feel close enough to this guy where I could ask him how he's holding up. I'd feel like I'm intruding.[/QUOTE] Its gotta be awkward, even having your kids around them prolly makes you feel guilty. :eek:

09-21-2011, 09:54 AM	#20
RaoulDuke Son of Ham Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Paris, France Posts: 11,870	[QUOTE=32green;4152605]Its gotta be awkward, even having your kids around them prolly makes you feel guilty. :eek:[/QUOTE] You have no idea... Our daughter was born 3 weeks before theirs. Anywhoo, back to Quantum's ball sackk!