The Adventures of Dark Hampur

crossfire · 10-17-2011, 08:49 AM

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/DarkHampur.jpg[/IMG]

As our story begins, Colonel32, Dark Hampur and Ensign Shakin looks bewildered at the idiocy that is the pfail strip.

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/spaceballs32stokesshakin.jpg[/IMG]

A disgusted Dark Hampur returns to his room for some important business.

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/spaceballsdolls2.jpg[/IMG]

[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [playing with his dolls]
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] So Princess Kelly, at last I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to.
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [In Kelly voice] No, no, please leave me alone!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] No, you are mine!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dirtstar voice] Not so fast Hampur!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Dirtstar!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dirtstar voice] Yes its me. I'm here to save me girlfriend. Hi honey.
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Now you are going to die! Pfffsh!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dirtstar voice] Oh, oh... OH!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Barff2® voice] Hey, what did you do to my friend?
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Helmet voice] The same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Barff2® voice] OH! OH!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] And you too!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in crossfire voice] Owww! Ah!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Now princess Kelly, at last we are alone.
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kelly voice] Oh, oh I hate you I hate you I hate you leave me alone! - yet, I find you strangely attractive.
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Of course you do. Sarish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and I have BOTH, and YOU KNOW IT!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kelly voice] Oh oh leave me alone!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Helmet voice] No, kiss me! Ummmm..... you are a woman right?
[cuts between their voices]
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kenny voice] Oh, oh, no, yes, no, NO, yes, ah, ah, ah ahhhhh... oh, your helmet is so big...

crossfire · 10-17-2011, 08:49 AM

Suddenly, Colonel32 enters the room...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/hidingdolls.jpg[/IMG]

[B]Colonel32:[/B] Lord Hampur!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] WHAT?
[Dark Hampur gathers up his dolls in the blink of an eye]
[B]Colonel32:[/B] You're needed in the hampur sir!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] Knock on my door! Knock next time!
[B]Colonel32:[/B] Yes, sir!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] Did you see anything?
[B]Colonel32:[/B] No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again.
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] GOOD!
[Colonel32 slams the door]

A flustered Dark Hampur sits wondering if he has been caught when he hears someone calling to him...

[B]Mrs. Dark Hampur:[/B] Quit screwing around with those idiots in the Hampur and get to work!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] Yes dear.

Dark Hampur walks out to his car and uses the force...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/darth-vader-car-commercial.jpg[/IMG]

[B]Dark Helmet:[/B] I love starting the car that way!

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/stokescar.jpg[/IMG]

(props to Jetworks since I completely ripped off his idea!)

RaoulDuke · 10-17-2011, 09:09 AM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4193271]Dark Hampur walks out to his car and uses the force...

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/darth-vader-car-commercial.jpg[/IMG]

[B]Dark Helmet:[/B] I love starting the car that way!

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/stokescar.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

:rofl:

southside · 10-17-2011, 09:20 AM

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4193287]:rofl:[/QUOTE]

+1

quantum · 10-17-2011, 09:35 AM

:applause:

32green · 10-17-2011, 09:44 AM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4193270]

[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kelly voice] Oh oh leave me alone!
[B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Helmet voice] No, kiss me! Ummmm..... you are a woman right?
[/QUOTE]

:D

WestCoastOffensive · 10-17-2011, 10:04 AM

Ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

JStokes · 10-17-2011, 10:16 AM

Holy crap!! Cross, you have outdone yourself (plus you have a little too much time on your hands).

I'm glad I could bring you all a canvas to dump on. :D

Btw, RussianGreen, Fishooked--looks like our faith in fellow Jet Insider members having some modicum of respect or courtesy for our posting of pictures of our kids was wildly misplaced.

SAR, the dooshbag that he is (yes, Sooth and mods, that's a personal attack--ban me if you must) decided he'd be REALLY funny and clever with this "joke" last nite.

[QUOTE=SAR I;4193071]

Besides, some posters put up photos of their daughters yesterday and I've got some serious masturbation to tend to.

SAR I[/QUOTE]

Wow, I can't believe how funny and tongue-in-cheek that is--how freaking hilarious--wow that SAR guys is a hoot.

What a dooshbag.

Joke about me all you want.

But we can't even post pics of our kids without this bullsh*t?

_

RaoulDuke · 10-17-2011, 10:25 AM

I usually defend SAR, but that's f*cked up.

crossfire · 10-17-2011, 10:29 AM

Wow! :eek:

I'd say that's low class but it's actually no class!

JetFreak89 · 10-17-2011, 10:30 AM

[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4193349]I usually defend SAR, but that's f*cked up.[/QUOTE]

My thoughts exactly...now little man is on a mission. SAR ain't gettin out of this one. Everyone protect your shins!

PlumberKhan · 10-17-2011, 10:40 AM

[QUOTE=JStokes;4193343]Joke about me all you want.

But we can't even post pics of our kids without this bullsh*t?

_[/QUOTE]

That dude has serious issues. :nono:

He makes me look like a well rounded person....and that's pretty difficult

BTW....good job, Cross. Dark Hamper...lolz. Spaceballs is one of my all-time favorite movies.

I want to be the gunner....

JStokes · 10-17-2011, 10:48 AM

Sorry to derail the thread--should have put it in the Post a Picture of Yourself thread.

Crossfire, when is Episode 6?

Or is it Episode 3?

_

jetstream23 · 10-17-2011, 10:48 AM

Ha!!! Killer work, crossfire! :clapper:

Can't wait for Episode IV....The Pfail Strip Strikes Back!

Do they blow up the Dirtstar at the end of the movie?

Do we find out that Plumber and Kelly are really brother and sister?

JStokes · 10-17-2011, 10:50 AM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4193271]

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/stokescar.jpg[/IMG]

[/QUOTE]

Love this pic. :D

_

Dirtstar · 10-17-2011, 11:09 AM

[QUOTE=PlumberKhan;4193370]
BTW....good job, Cross. Dark Hamper...lolz. Spaceballs is one of my all-time favorite movies.

[B]I want to be the gunner...[/B].[/QUOTE]

lmao... "keep firing, azzholes!!"

crossfire · 10-17-2011, 11:23 AM

[url]

Lone Star Lady · 10-17-2011, 11:39 AM

[QUOTE=crossfire;4193270]

A disgusted Dark Hampur returns to his room for some important business.

[IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/spaceballsdolls2.jpg[/IMG]

[/QUOTE]

[IMG]http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o38/fishooked/emoticons/RAGE0023.png[/IMG] LOL

Excellent, crossfire. :yes:

Lone Star Lady · 10-17-2011, 11:43 AM

[QUOTE=JStokes;4193343]
Wow, I can't believe how funny and tongue-in-cheek that is--how freaking hilarious--wow that SAR guys is a hoot.

What a dooshbag.

Joke about me all you want.

But we can't even post pics of our kids without this bullsh*t?

_[/QUOTE]

+1000, stokes!

I couldn't believe it when I saw that post. I was going to report it, but you gave a great response.

Truly despicable!

JStokes · 10-17-2011, 12:00 PM

[QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4193465]+1000, stokes!

I couldn't believe it when I saw that post. I was going to report it, but you gave a great response.

Truly despicable![/QUOTE]

So full of ironing that in a thread about personal attacks, SAR gets band for his misguided :rolleyes: attempt at humor.

_

10-17-2011, 08:49 AM	#1
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,664	The Adventures of Dark Hampur [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/DarkHampur.jpg[/IMG] As our story begins, Colonel32, Dark Hampur and Ensign Shakin looks bewildered at the idiocy that is the pfail strip. [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/spaceballs32stokesshakin.jpg[/IMG] A disgusted Dark Hampur returns to his room for some important business. [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/spaceballsdolls2.jpg[/IMG] [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [playing with his dolls] [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] So Princess Kelly, at last I have you in my clutches, to have my way with you, the way I want to. [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [In Kelly voice] No, no, please leave me alone! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] No, you are mine! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dirtstar voice] Not so fast Hampur! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Dirtstar! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dirtstar voice] Yes its me. I'm here to save me girlfriend. Hi honey. [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Now you are going to die! Pfffsh! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dirtstar voice] Oh, oh... OH! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Barff2® voice] Hey, what did you do to my friend? [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Helmet voice] The same thing I'm going to do to you, big boy! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Barff2® voice] OH! OH! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] And you too! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in crossfire voice] Owww! Ah! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Now princess Kelly, at last we are alone. [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kelly voice] Oh, oh I hate you I hate you I hate you leave me alone! - yet, I find you strangely attractive. [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Hampur voice] Of course you do. Sarish princesses are often attracted to money, and power, and I have BOTH, and YOU KNOW IT! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kelly voice] Oh oh leave me alone! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Helmet voice] No, kiss me! Ummmm..... you are a woman right? [cuts between their voices] [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kenny voice] Oh, oh, no, yes, no, NO, yes, ah, ah, ah ahhhhh... oh, your helmet is so big... Last edited by crossfire; 10-17-2011 at 09:15 AM.

10-17-2011, 08:49 AM	#2
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,664	Suddenly, Colonel32 enters the room... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/hidingdolls.jpg[/IMG] [B]Colonel32:[/B] Lord Hampur! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] WHAT? [Dark Hampur gathers up his dolls in the blink of an eye] [B]Colonel32:[/B] You're needed in the hampur sir! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] Knock on my door! Knock next time! [B]Colonel32:[/B] Yes, sir! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] Did you see anything? [B]Colonel32:[/B] No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again. [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] GOOD! [Colonel32 slams the door] A flustered Dark Hampur sits wondering if he has been caught when he hears someone calling to him... [B]Mrs. Dark Hampur:[/B] Quit screwing around with those idiots in the Hampur and get to work! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] Yes dear. Dark Hampur walks out to his car and uses the force... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/darth-vader-car-commercial.jpg[/IMG] [B]Dark Helmet:[/B] I love starting the car that way! [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/stokescar.jpg[/IMG] (props to Jetworks since I completely ripped off his idea!) Last edited by crossfire; 10-17-2011 at 09:13 AM.

10-17-2011, 10:40 AM	#12
PlumberKhan BRACE YOURSELVES FOR 12... Banned Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Van down by the river Posts: 21,013	[QUOTE=JStokes;4193343]Joke about me all you want. But we can't even post pics of our kids without this bullsht? _[/QUOTE] That dude has serious issues. :nono: He makes me look like a well rounded person....and that's pretty difficult BTW....good job, Cross. Dark Hamper...lolz. Spaceballs is one of my all-time favorite movies. I want to be the gunner.... Last edited by PlumberKhan; 10-17-2011 at 10:42 AM.*

10-17-2011, 09:09 AM	#3
RaoulDuke Son of Ham Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Paris, France Posts: 11,869	[QUOTE=crossfire;4193271]Dark Hampur walks out to his car and uses the force... [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/darth-vader-car-commercial.jpg[/IMG] [B]Dark Helmet:[/B] I love starting the car that way! [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/stokescar.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE] :rofl:

10-17-2011, 09:20 AM	#4
southside Forever Awesome All Pro Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 8,884	[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4193287]:rofl:[/QUOTE] +1

10-17-2011, 09:35 AM	#5
quantum GFY Snatchez! Hall Of Fame Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: LI Posts: 17,877	:applause:

10-17-2011, 09:44 AM	#6
32green The original road-kill pus slurper. MMMmmm pus. Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP JetsInsider.com Legend Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: The depths of Despair. Posts: 37,672	[QUOTE=crossfire;4193270] [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Kelly voice] Oh oh leave me alone! [B]Dark Hampur:[/B] [in Dark Helmet voice] No, kiss me! Ummmm..... you are a woman right? [/QUOTE] :D

10-17-2011, 10:04 AM	#7
WestCoastOffensive Lying to the Smithsonian Board Moderator Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Oct 2005 Location: SF via Strong Island Posts: 26,638	Ha ha ha ha ha hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

10-17-2011, 10:16 AM	#8
JStokes Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 20,126	Holy crap!! Cross, you have outdone yourself (plus you have a little too much time on your hands). I'm glad I could bring you all a canvas to dump on. :D Btw, RussianGreen, Fishooked--looks like our faith in fellow Jet Insider members having some modicum of respect or courtesy for our posting of pictures of our kids was wildly misplaced. SAR, the dooshbag that he is (yes, Sooth and mods, that's a personal attack--ban me if you must) decided he'd be REALLY funny and clever with this "joke" last nite. [QUOTE=SAR I;4193071] Besides, some posters put up photos of their daughters yesterday and I've got some serious masturbation to tend to. SAR I[/QUOTE] Wow, I can't believe how funny and tongue-in-cheek that is--how freaking hilarious--wow that SAR guys is a hoot. What a dooshbag. Joke about me all you want. But we can't even post pics of our kids without this bullsh*t? _

10-17-2011, 10:25 AM	#9
RaoulDuke Son of Ham Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: Paris, France Posts: 11,869	I usually defend SAR, but that's f*cked up.

10-17-2011, 10:29 AM	#10
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,664	Wow! :eek: I'd say that's low class but it's actually no class!

10-17-2011, 10:30 AM	#11
JetFreak89 All League Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,343	[QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4193349]I usually defend SAR, but that's f*cked up.[/QUOTE] My thoughts exactly...now little man is on a mission. SAR ain't gettin out of this one. Everyone protect your shins!

10-17-2011, 10:48 AM	#13
JStokes Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 20,126	Sorry to derail the thread--should have put it in the Post a Picture of Yourself thread. Crossfire, when is Episode 6? Or is it Episode 3? _

10-17-2011, 10:48 AM	#14
jetstream23 recovering from turf toe Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Phoenix, AZ (New Jets Stadium Section 246) Posts: 31,548	Ha!!! Killer work, crossfire! :clapper: Can't wait for Episode IV....The Pfail Strip Strikes Back! Do they blow up the Dirtstar at the end of the movie? Do we find out that Plumber and Kelly are really brother and sister?

10-17-2011, 10:50 AM	#15
JStokes Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 20,126	[QUOTE=crossfire;4193271] [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/stokescar.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE] Love this pic. :D _

10-17-2011, 11:09 AM	#16
Dirtstar Snubbed a man just to watch him cry. Hall Of Fame Join Date: Aug 2005 Posts: 15,774	[QUOTE=PlumberKhan;4193370] BTW....good job, Cross. Dark Hamper...lolz. Spaceballs is one of my all-time favorite movies. [B]I want to be the gunner...[/B].[/QUOTE] lmao... "keep firing, azzholes!!"

10-17-2011, 11:23 AM	#17
crossfire Day by day, night after night... Blinded by the neon light Jets Insider VIP Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: Long Island, NY Posts: 5,664	[url]

10-17-2011, 11:39 AM	#18
Lone Star Lady Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: TX via MA via CT Posts: 1,828	[QUOTE=crossfire;4193270] A disgusted Dark Hampur returns to his room for some important business. [IMG]http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e329/crossfire1/Hampur/daark%20Hampur/spaceballsdolls2.jpg[/IMG] [/QUOTE] [IMG]http://i116.photobucket.com/albums/o38/fishooked/emoticons/RAGE0023.png[/IMG] LOL Excellent, crossfire. :yes:

10-17-2011, 11:43 AM	#19
Lone Star Lady Veteran Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: TX via MA via CT Posts: 1,828	[QUOTE=JStokes;4193343] Wow, I can't believe how funny and tongue-in-cheek that is--how freaking hilarious--wow that SAR guys is a hoot. What a dooshbag. Joke about me all you want. But we can't even post pics of our kids without this bullsh*t? _[/QUOTE] +1000, stokes! I couldn't believe it when I saw that post. I was going to report it, but you gave a great response. Truly despicable!

10-17-2011, 12:00 PM	#20
JStokes Hall Of Fame Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: Bergen County, NJ Posts: 20,126	[QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4193465]+1000, stokes! I couldn't believe it when I saw that post. I was going to report it, but you gave a great response. Truly despicable![/QUOTE] So full of ironing that in a thread about personal attacks, SAR gets band for his misguided :rolleyes: attempt at humor. _