Results 1 to 16 of 16

Thread: A separated Husband : OT

  1. #1
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York (Where life Began)
    Posts
    4,279

    A separated Husband : OT

    Dear Connie,

    I know the counselor said we shouldn’t contact each other during our “cooling off” period, but I couldn’t wait anymore. The day you left, I swore I’d never talk to you again. But that was just the wounded little boy in me talking. Still, I never wanted to be the first one to make contact.

    In my fantasies, it was always you who would come crawling back! To me! I guess my pride needed that. But now I see that my pride’s cost me a lot of things. I’m tired of pretending I don’t miss you. I don’t care about looking bad anymore. I don’t care who makes the first move as long as one of us does.

    Maybe it’s time we let our hearts speak as loudly as our hurt. And this is what my heart says: “There is no one like you, Connie.” I look for you in the eyes and breasts of every woman I see, but they’re not you. They’re not even close.

    Two weeks ago, I met this girl at Flamingos and brought her home with me. I don’t say this to hurt you, but just to illustrate the depth of my desperation. She was young, maybe 19; with one of those perfect bodies that only youth and maybe a childhood spent ice-skating can give you. I mean, just a perfect body. Tits like you wouldn’t believe and an *** that just wouldn’t quit. Every man’s dream, right? But as I lay on the couch being blown by this stunner, I thought, look at the stuff we’ve made important in our lives. It’s all superficial. What does a perfect body mean? Does it make her better in bed? Well, in this case, yes, but you see what I’m getting at? Does it make her a between person? Does she have a better heart than my moderately attractive Connie? I doubt it. And I’d never really thought of that before. I don’t know, maybe I’m just growing up a little. Later, after I’d tossed her about a half a pint of throat yogurt, I found myself thinking, “Why do I feel so drained and empty?” It wasn’t just her flawless technique or her slutty, shameless hunger, but something else. Some nagging feeling of loss. Why did it feel so incomplete? And then it hit me. It didn’t feel the same because you weren’t there to watch. Do you know what I mean?

    Nothing feels the same without you. Jesus, Connie, I’m just going crazy without you. And everything reminds me of you. Do you remember Carol, that single mom we met at the Holiday Inn lounge last year? Well, she dropped by last week with a pan of lasagna. She said she figured I wasn’t eating right without a woman around. I didn’t know what she meant till later, but that’s not the real story. Anyway, we had a few glasses of wine and the next thing you know, we’re banging away in our old bedroom. And this tart’s a total monster in the sack; she’s giving me everything, you know, like a real woman does when she’s not hung up about her weight or her career and whether the kids can hear us. And all of a sudden, she spots that tilting mirror on your grandmother’s old vanity. So she puts it on the floor and we straddle it, right, so that we can watch ourselves.

    And it’s totally hot, but it makes me sad, too. Cause I can’t help thinking, “Why didn’t Connie ever put the mirror on the floor? We’ve had this old vanity for what, 14 years, and we never used it as a sex toy?”

    Saturday, your sister drops by with my copy of the restraining order. I mean, Vicky’s just a kid and all, but she’s got a pretty good head on her shoulders and she’s been a real friend to me during this painful time. She’s given me lots of good advice about you and about woman in general. She’s pulling for us to get back together, Connie, she really is. So we’re doing Jell-O shots in a hot bubble bath and talking about happier times. Here’s this teenage girl with the same DNA as you and all I can do is think of how much she looked like you when you were 18. And that just makes me cry. And then it turns out Vicky’s really into the whole anal thing, that gets me to thinking about how many times I pressured you about trying it and how that probably fueled some of the bitterness between us. But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you? It’s true, Connie. In your heart you must know it. Don’t you think we could start over? Just wipe out all the grievances away and start fresh? I think we can.

    If you feel the same, please, please, please let me know. Otherwise, can you let me know where the ****ing remote is?

    Love, Dan

  2. #2
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    1,820
    Dump.

    What is this, Dr. Phil's web-site?

  3. #3
    Board Moderator
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    Brooklyn Heights
    Posts
    2,462
    I have no doubt that this is for real.

    But, damn funny.

    P.S. www.loveshack.org is message board for this type of crap. And BTW, it quite possibly rivals JI in terms of membership, posts and threads. So go there with your sob story.

  4. #4
    Bewildered Beast
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SF via Strong Island
    Posts
    31,091
    Sorry for your suffering. Women are so...what's the word...

    I am just so shocked, at the callous way your estranged wife acts.

    I hope that you will put the pieces of *** together, one at time.

  5. #5
    All Pro
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Fairfax Va
    Posts
    7,842
    Good luck with it man. You might want to leave the "Hustler letter" description out next time. If all fails you can always buy another remote.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by fifty one
    Good luck with it man. You might want to leave the "Hustler letter" description out next time. If all fails you can always buy another remote.
    are you serious? this letter is a joke, obviously he found it on the internet or something, lmfao.

  7. #7
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York (Where life Began)
    Posts
    4,279
    It's a joke people.

    Man you folks are too darn tight.

  8. #8
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Miami, Fl
    Posts
    18,661
    Quote Originally Posted by papichango
    It's a joke people.

    Man you folks are too darn tight.

    did people actually read that and think it was from you???/

    lmao

  9. #9
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Brooklyn, New York (Where life Began)
    Posts
    4,279
    Quote Originally Posted by Mean Bro Green
    did people actually read that and think it was from you???/

    lmao
    Yeah, amazing.

  10. #10
    Oh that **** was funny

  11. #11
    Quote Originally Posted by papichango
    But do you see how even then, when I’m thrusting inside your baby sister’s cinnamon ring, all I can do is think of you?
    OMFG that is major ownage right there. Like a Hiroshima kind of ownage.

  12. #12
    Bewildered Beast
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SF via Strong Island
    Posts
    31,091
    Quote Originally Posted by papichango
    It's a joke people.

    Man you folks are too darn tight.

  13. #13
    Quote Originally Posted by Mean Bro Green
    did people actually read that and think it was from you???/

    lmao

    hahaha that makes it better

  14. #14
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP

    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Location
    Troop 16H MEMBER
    Posts
    2,517
    Classic

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Sunshine State
    Posts
    8,003
    awsome.

  16. #16
    Bewildered Beast
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SF via Strong Island
    Posts
    31,091
    Quote Originally Posted by LIDeadHead
    OMFG that is major ownage right there. Like a Hiroshima kind of ownage.
    Nothing left. Just the gaping mouth.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us