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Thread: OT: Lastings Milledge Facts!!!

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    OT: Lastings Milledge Facts!!!

    1. Lastings Milledge isn't a 5 tool player. Lastings Milledge has more
    than 100 tools, many of which are unknown to most baseball scouts.
    2. Lastings Milledge wasn't slapping fives with fans after his first
    big league homerun. He was healing lepers and cripples.
    3. Keith Hernandez thinks a girl's place is in the dugout as long as
    they're on the arm of Lastings Milledge.
    4. Lastings Milledge doesn't hit 8th. Those seven other guys are just
    warming up the pitcher for the first real at bat of the game.
    5. Shea Stadium is no longer known as a pitcher's park now that
    Lastings Milledge hits there.
    6. Lastings Milledge can fix Victor Zambrano in ten minutes.
    7. Lastings Milledge has taught Willie Randolph how to execute a double switch.
    8. Johnny Damon wishes he can have Lastings Milledge's hair.
    9. When Steve Trachsel deliberates on the mound, he's thinking of all
    the ways Lastings Milledge will help the Mets win.
    10. Light has to kick it into high gear just to try and keep up with
    Lastings Milledge's bat speed.
    11. Lastings Milledge's three children will be named Turner, Citizen's
    Bank and 'Chipperer'.
    12. Lastings Milledge also has an illegitimate child. He was born in
    1895 and his name is Babe Ruth.
    13. Billy Wagner likes to warm up just to watch Lastings Milledge play
    right field.
    14. Alex Ochoa and Alex Escobar carry pictures of Lastings Milledge in
    their wallet to remind them of the players they should have become.
    15. Confucius quotes Lastings Milledge.
    16. Lastings Milledge is your American Idol.
    17. The cross around Lasting Milledge's neck is the secret to the Da Vinci Code.
    18. SNY has changed its call letters to LMNY.
    19. A-Rod no longer has a crush on Derek Jeter. He is now obsessed
    with LastingsMilledge.
    20. Lastings Milledge knocked Armando Benitez back to 2001.
    21. Lastings Milledge can play all three outfield positions at the same time.
    22. Lastings Milledge only took #44 because he's waiting for jersey #666.
    23. The word "swagger" has been redefined by Webster's to mean
    Lastings Milledge.
    24. Lastings Milledge is not the next Willie Mays. Willie Mays is just
    a precursor to Lastings Milledge.
    25. Jason Grimsley admitted to using steroids and turned himself over
    to the FBI after he saw Lastings Milledge was coming to town in June.
    26. MLB makes Lastings Milledge use a foam bat.
    27. Lastings Milledge beat Jose Reyes in a race running backwards.
    28. Fred Wilpon has renamed his son Lastings.
    29. Lastings Milledge can tell the difference between diet and regular
    Dr.Pepper.
    30. Jose Lima dyed his dreadlocks black in honor of Lastings Milledge.
    31. Lastings Milledge wiped the smile off of Andruw Jones' face. Now
    Andruw has a permanent twitch from the pain inflicted on him by the
    immortal Lastings.
    32. Roger Clemens has it written in his contract that he does not have
    to pitch against Lastings Milledge.
    33. Lastings Milledge has his own dressing room because when Lastings
    Milledge changes, his manhood darkens the room and the other players
    aren't able to get their uniforms on.
    34. People dissolve Lastings Milledge's hair roots in water and drink
    the potion for everlasting life.
    35. CBS just added CSI: LASTINGS MILLEDGE to their new Fall lineup.
    36. Lastings Milledge ate Mike Tyson's children.
    37. Rickey Henderson wishes his name was Lastings Milledge so he'd
    have a better name to refer to himself in the third person with.
    38. God says: "Holy Lastings Milledge."
    39. Lastings Milledge is actually the messiah. He will reveal himself
    in 2021 after he wins the Mets fifteen World Series titles.
    40. Lastings Milledge has had sex with more than 30,000 women. And
    this was just while he was in the minor leagues.
    41. Lastings Milledge is the odds on favorite to win the Jets starting QB job.
    42. Jim Duquette says he wouldn't trade Lastings Milledge.
    43. The Texans didn't draft Reggie Bush, because they're hoping
    Lastings Milledge will play running back forthem.
    44. Barry Bonds claims Lastings Milledge is on steroids.
    45. There is a new favorite to win the Belmont Stakes, Lastings Milledge.
    46. Lastings Milledge can break 9 cinder blocks that are lit on fire.
    47. Lastings Milledge freed Heath Bell.
    48. Lastings Milledge doesn't take strikes. He temporarily falls
    asleep at the plate to rest up before his next big hit.
    49. Trees dream of one day becoming a Lastings Milledge bat.
    50. Lastings Milledge isn't hip-hop; hip-hop is Lastings Milledge.
    51. Two-thirds of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered
    byLastings Milledge.
    52. Civil War cannons were nicknamed "Lastings Milledge's Arm."
    53. Lastings doesn't run he wills the earth beneath him to move.
    54. Lastings carries his clothes in cardboard boxes because luggage
    would burst open from its touch.
    55. Would you like to see Lastings circle the earth on foot? Would you
    like to see it again?
    56. Lastings through osmosis will cause his teamates to test positive for HGH.
    57. Roger Clements won't throw that bat head at Lastings Milledge. He
    knows that Milledge would shove the bat head down his throat, eat his
    children and force him to retire.
    58. Lastings Milledge understands the frequency.
    59. Lastings Milledge beat traffic on the Van Wyck Expressway.
    60. Lastings Milledge traded Kaz Matsui to the Colorado Rockies.
    61. Lastings Milledge reminded Jose Valentin how to hit.
    62. Lastings Milledge can build skyscrapers and then destroy them with
    a blink of his eyes.
    63. Lastings Milledge got the Beatles back together.
    64. Lastings Milledge laughed at the end of "The Notebook."
    65. When Lastings Milledge hits a home run, he's disappointed that his
    at bat is over.
    66. Lastings Milledge removed Rick Peterson's jacket.
    67. Alay Soler defected to America so he can play with Lastings Milledge.
    68. George Steinbrenner doesn't have enough money to buy Lastings Milledge.
    69. Lastings Milledge went back in time to 1999 to pitch in relief of
    Kenny Rogers in Game 6 of the NLCS against the Braves. He struck
    Andruw Jones out looking and then came back to hit the game winning
    home run. He then propelled the Mets to a game 7 victory where he
    pitched a perfect game and hit five home runs.
    70. Lastings Milledge's bat breaks Mariano Rivera's cutter in two.
    71. When Lastings Milledge threw Nomar Garciapara out at second, he
    was aiming for Nomar's head.
    72. Lastings Milledge sold his soul for a donut but when Satan came
    around to collect, Lastings beat him all the way back to hell. The
    donut was chocolate glazed and delicious.
    73. At the end of his career, MLB will rename the MVP award to the
    "Just not as good as Lastings" award.
    74. Lastings Milledge does not trade Nolan Ryan for Jim Fregosi.
    75. If a tree falls in the forest, Lastings Milledge hears it.
    76. The phone company gave Lastings Milledge a 212 number - in fact,
    they gave him all of them.
    77. Lastings Milledge used his jedi mind tricks to force Xavier Nady's
    appendix into bursting.
    78. Lastings Milledge invented the whistle tips for car mufflers...Woot Woot!
    79. Nobody puts Baby in the corner, except Lastings Milledge.
    80. Lastings Milledge doesn't dodge bullets; he uses them for batting practice.
    81. Lastings Milledge can bend light with his arm.
    82. Lastings Milledge's arm is so strong that the ball will appear in
    the fielder's glove before he even throws it.
    83. Lastings Milledge would've struck out Paul O'Neill in Game 1 of
    the 2000 World Series.
    84. Bill Buckner missed the ball in Game 6 because an image of
    Lastings Milledge flashed across his mind, temporarily paralyzing him.
    85. Lastings Milledge built Rome in a day and still had enough time to
    conquer the rest of the known world as well.
    86. May 30 will be forever known as "Lastings Milledge Day."
    Bobbleheads will not be included as it is sacrilege to produce
    anything in his likeness.
    87. Lastings Milledge sank the Bismarck
    88. "Who's Your Daddy?" Answer: Lastings Milledge
    89. Lastings Milledge is a baseball player with all of their strengths
    and none of their weaknesses.
    90. "The Exorcist" always helps Lastings Milledge fall asleep easier.
    91. Randy Johnson is awful this year because he's too worried about
    pitching to Lastings Milledge.
    92. Thomas Jefferson originally wrote for the Declaration of
    Independence, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that no man is
    created equal to Lastings Milledge."
    93. Lastings Milledge, not Morpheus, is considered by many authorities
    to be the most dangerous man alive.
    94. Lastings Milledge can split the atom with his warm-up swings.
    95. God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh.
    Lastings Milledge did it all in one day and still had time to play a
    double header.
    96. Lastings Milledge is his own species. His biological name is
    "Homerun Rakings."
    97. All matter is naturally drawn to Lastings Milledge.
    98. Lastings Milledge has to hold back when he throws or else he would
    shoot the Earth out of its rotation.
    99. Lastings Milledge was born without original sin.
    100. It is said that no matter can hit absolute zero and completely
    stop, but when Lastings Milledge plays, EVERYTHING stops to watch.
    101. "The World's Strongest Man Competition" has been renamed "The
    Lastings Milledge Workout Hour."
    102. Billy Wagner always asks Lastings Milledge how to throw harder.
    103. Lastings Milledge wanted to be a pitcher, but the radar gun
    doesn't have four digits.
    104. Lastings Milledge moves for no man.
    105. When Lastings Milledge eventually dies, everything will cease to
    be. Nothing can exist without Lastings Milledge's presence.
    106. The answer to all of life's problems is Lastings Milledge.
    107. Lastings Milledge killed al-Zarqawi. He died when Lastings
    Milledge's second ML homerun was shown on Iraqi TV. He couldn't take
    that blast.
    108. The Pope has decreed that Lastings Milledege, not Jesus is God's only son.
    109. Lastings Milledge can talk about Fight Club.
    110. Lastings Milledge did not come to the Mets from AAA, he came from Krypton.
    111. The 11 teams who passed on Lastings Milledge in the 2003 draft
    will be contracted.
    112. Lastings Milledge puts his shoes on first, then his socks.
    113. Lastings Milledge is the only drummer from Spinal Tap to survive.
    114. Lastings Milledge gets pulled over for speeding when he circles the bases.
    115. Lastings Milledge brought the Giants and Dodgers back to New York
    just so he can decimate their pitching staffs 19 times a year.
    116. Delmon Young threw his bat at a minor league umpire after the ump
    told him,"You're not Lastings Milledge."
    117. Lastings Milledge doesn't need to blow on soup when it's hot.
    118. Lastings Milledge is better than a Mac and a PC.
    119. Lastings Milledge eats raw habanero chiles for the fun of it.
    120. Lastings Milledge tried to call his shot like Babe Ruth, but he
    realized the human eye can't see as far as he was going to hit the
    ball.
    121. Lastings Milledge was sent from the future to protect John
    Connor, but heinstead decided to suit up for the Mets for the good of
    New York City.
    122. Lastings Milledge didn't learn how to ride a bike by using
    training wheels. He learned on a motorcycle.
    123. Lastings Milledge learned how to walk before he crawled.
    124. Lastings Milledge injured Gary Sheffield's wrist in an arm wrestling match.
    125. Lastings Milledge floats like a butterfly and beats the crap out of you.
    126. Lastings Milledge is the voice in "Field of Dreams"
    127. Lastings Milledge is 12 years old. His parents lied on his birth
    certificate so he could play with the Mets sooner.
    128. Lastings Milledge knows how many licks it takes to get to the
    tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
    129. Lastings Milledge didn't get called up. He called Omar Minaya and
    told him he was coming up.
    130. Mets management has decided to change the "Diamond Dash"
    promotion to "Get Thrown Out at Third by Lastings Milledge."
    131. Mike and the Mad Dog said that there's a little Willie Mays in
    Lastings Milledge. Actually, there's a little bit of Lastings Milledge
    in all of us, but we fail to unlock our full potential.
    132. Lasting Milledge's hair is actually a group of antennas that pick
    up signals from his home planet.
    133. TV cameras are naturally drawn to Lastings Milledge. They need a
    group of cameramen from keeping the cameras from constantly focusing
    on him.
    134. You cannot grasp the true form of Lastings Milledge's swing.
    135. If you see Lastings Milledge on your television, he'll throw you
    out at second seven days later.
    136. Lastings Milledge's hair is its own nation. It is currently
    awaiting entrance into the United Nations.
    137. UFC matches were invented by Lastings Milledge so he can stretch
    out before each game.
    138. Lastings Milledge achieved enlightenment. He wasn't impressed.
    139. The 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not run on Lastings Milledge.
    140. Lastings Milledge has you. And your kids. And your wife.
    141. AA players are regularly sacrificed to keep Lastings Milledge
    from extracting vengeance.
    142. If David Wright and Lastings Milledge were to fuse into one
    being, all would be obliterated.
    143. Melky Cabrera and Ryan Howard are Lastings Milledge wannabes.
    144. Goose Gossage would never throw at Lastings Milledge's head.
    145. The Holy Trinity has been replaced by Reyes, Wright, and Lastings
    Milledge. Pray to them and you shall be saved.
    146. Carlos Beltran is hitting thanks to Lastings Milledge.
    147. Lastings Milledge will be the next NFL franchise in Los Angeles.
    They/He will start play in 2015.
    148. Lastings Milledge injured Albert Pujols so he wouldn't get any
    ideas about trying to break the home run record before Milledge does.
    149. Plutonium is a byproduct of Lasting Milledge's swing.
    150. "Caesar" was just the Roman way of saying "Lastings Milledge."
    151. Lastings Milledge's arm can power the entire North American continent.
    152. It is forbidden in some cultures to even say the words "Lastings Milledge."
    153. Lastings Milledge has 100 concubines. Every single Braves and
    Phillies player is one of them, except for Chipper Jones. He couldn't
    make it because Lastings Milledge waved his magic wand and turned
    Chipper into a rat. Then he gazed at him and sent him straight to rat
    hell.
    154. Lastings Milledge's hard slide didn't take out John Schuerholz's
    son. Schuerholz fell down and injured himself when he found out his
    team was playing the Tides and Milledge was coming. And yes,
    Schuerholz is a *****.
    155. Lastings Milledge ghostwrote the bible.
    156. Lastings Milledge will be the first black President. In fact, he
    already is. He will take over as soon as he hits his 900th homerun
    sometime in 2007.
    157. The new Windows version has been renamed Microsoft Windows LM.
    Lastings wrote the code for the entire OS in less than one hour.
    158. Lastings Milledge has 30 WS rings. He went into the future and
    retrieved all of them so he doesn't have to wait.
    159. Lastings Milledge once hired Donald Trump to be his personal bat
    boy....after a week Lastings said, YOUR FIRED. Yes, he said "your"
    instead of "you're." Despite his super powers, grammar has never been
    Lastings Milledge's forte.
    160. I walked into the room to find Lastings Milledge having sex with
    my wife. I waited until he finished and I thanked him.
    161. After his game tying homerun against Armando Benetiz, Lastings
    Milledge pointed towards the heavens and thanked God. God assured him
    he had nothing to do with it and pointed right back at him adding a
    "Boo-Yaaaah!" Milledge cooly pointed right back and said, "Mo'
    Boo-Yaaah to ya."
    162. If you pirate movies or music, Lastings will come to your house
    and give you an unholy beating.
    163. Muhammed Ali is changing his name to Lastings Milledge.
    164. Lastings Milledge IS instant replay. There is a delay time
    between Lasting Milledge's swing and when your eye actually picks it
    up.
    165. Lastings Milledge is currently building the Mets new stadium.
    166. Lastings Milledge went back in time and renamed Shea Stadium
    "Lastings Milledge's Crib." The Mets immediately became the winningest
    franchise in baseball history because every team was too afraid to
    play them.
    167. Lastings Milledge is so fast that he arrives at home plate before
    completing his swing. Obviously, all of his hits are homeruns, whether
    the human eye can catch them or not.
    168. It is impossible to see a slow motion version of Lasting Milledge's plays.
    169. Lastings Milledge hit a home run on his back swing.
    170. The Midas touch turns everything to gold. The Lastings Milledge
    touch turns everything into homeruns.
    171. For the filming of "The Matrix", Lastings Milledge was called in
    to do all of the stunts.
    172. The Braves don't talk trash because Lastings Milledge would go to
    Turner Field and beat the crap out of them.
    173. The Braves are losing because the force of Lastings Milledge
    pushes all teams downward in the division.
    174. Many girls think David Wright is cute, but they immediately have
    orgasms when Lasting Milledge's picture is shown.
    175. Warren Spahn threw sixteen innings in a start. Lastings Milledge
    was doing that when he was in his mama's belly.
    176. Only Lastings Milledge makes an out when he wants to. If he
    wanted, he could shatter Ty Cobb's batting average record, but that
    would be unfair.
    177. When Manny Ramirez poses after a homerun, he is looking up at the
    sky for Lastings Milledge's approval.
    178. Lastings Milledge could climb the Green Monster.
    179. When seeing Luis Gonzalez throw, Lastings Milledge has to
    restrain from killing him. He hates seeing his greatest talent being
    butchered.
    180. Ichiro, Jeff Francoeur, Carlos Beltran, and Vladimir Guerrero
    combine for 28% of Lastings Milledge's arm strength.
    181. Jay Payton was the corrupt prototype of Lastings Milledge.
    Thankfully, the final version is here.
    182. Lastings Milledge's swing is the sound of inevitability.
    183. Cliff Floyd and Julio Franco fight over carrying Lastings Milledge's bags.
    184. In 1984, scientists took the 1984 NL All Star team and conducted
    an experiment. They took all of their DNA and mated that with a
    woman's who was a member of the USC softball NCAA champions. The
    result: Lastings Milledge. He is actually a twin, his brother is Danny
    DeVito. Although, DeVito admits Lastings Milledge is clearly the
    superior twin.
    185. The Tsunami of 2004 was a result of one of Lastings Milledge's
    homeruns landing in the Indian Ocean. Graciously, Lastings has since
    apologized.
    186. Lastings Milledge is a joker, a smoker and a midnight toker.
    187. In the Soccer World Cup draw, Lastings Milledge is his own group.
    188. Chipper Jones washes Lastins Milledge's underwear.
    189. Lastings Milledge doesn't need a Blackberry. He closes his eyes
    and all of his email appears in his head. Then in one glance he reads
    the 1000 messages he receives every hour.
    190. Lastins Milledge designed the '86 Mets racing stripe uniforms.
    191. Lastings Milledge healed Jose Reyes' hamstring.
    192. E-mail only works because Lastings Milledge can throw your
    letters to other computers.
    193. Lastings Milledge threw Derek Jeter out at home plate in Yankee
    Stadium. Lastings was playing RF at Shea at the time.
    194. Lastings Milledge can finally get Pedro a win. No one has asked him yet.
    195. It's a bird. It's a plane, NO it's LASTINGS MILLEDGE!!!
    196. Lastings Milledge can assemble IKEA furniture in his sleep.
    197. Lastings Milledge wasn't just high fiving people down the right
    field line, he was picking out people he can bench press between
    innings.
    198. Teen spirit smells like Lastings Milledge.
    199. Sammy Sosa didn't have pieces of cork in his bat when he hit over
    60 homers three years in a row. He had pieces of Lastings Milledge.
    200. Gregg Jefferies throws a batting helmet every time he looks at
    Lastings Milledge.
    201. Lastings Milledge can get from Times Square to Shea Stadium
    faster than the #7 Express train. Sometimes he carries the train in
    his back pocket as he goes to work.
    202. Lastings Milledge hair doesn't grow, he intimidates it out of his head.
    203. Michael Jordan left the NBA for baseball because he admired an
    adolescent Lastings Milledge.
    204. Opposing teams LOVE when Lastings Milledge slides spikes up into
    them.. Because they get to grace the spikes of God.
    205. Lastings Milledge isn't on the All-Star ballot because no other
    outfielder would receive a vote. The other starters would be whoever
    Lastings feels like playing with that day.
    206. Some Atlanta residents believe that the coming of Lastings
    Milledge means that Armageddon is coming, this October.
    207. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, JFK aimed Lastings Milledge's
    arm at the Soviet Union; the conflict was soon resolved.
    208. Lastings Milledge doesn't ask, "can you hear me now?" He just
    appears and kicks the crap of the person who doesn't hear him.
    209. The Braves were eliminated from playoff contention the day
    Lastings Milledge was called up to the Mets.
    210. When Lastings Milledge retires, baseball will fold.
    211. Bill James had to come up with a new Sabermetrics formula to
    accurately understand the impact Lastings Milledge has had on
    baseball. The formula: e = LM squared.
    212 . The Boston Red Sox won the 2004 World Series because Lastings
    Milledge likes a good New England Clam Chowder.
    213. David Ortiz owes it all to Lastings Milledge.
    214. Human Growth Hormone is just bottled Lastings Milledge essence.
    215. Lastings Milledge knows where Sammy Sosa has disappeared to.
    216. Hot and cold streaks really only happen because Lastings Milledge
    decides whether he likes you or not on a week to week basis.
    217. Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds grew from Lastings Milledge's baby teeth.
    218. Lastings Milldedge is the man from Nantucket.
    219. Dae Sung Koo never doubled off Randy Johnson.... Lastings
    Milledge hit it for him, he then threw Koo head first into home plate.
    220. After David Ortiz met Lastings Milledge, he changed his name to El Nino.
    221. Shea Stadium is considered a "no fly zone" during Mets games
    because Lastings Milledge's home runs interfere with Laguardia's
    flight plans.
    222. I got a ball signed by Lastings Milledge. I traded it to George
    Steinbrenner the next day for the Yankees and his first born son.
    223. After this year, MLB has decided to combine the MVP, Cy Young,
    Gold Glove, Silver Slugger, and Rookie of the Year awards and rename
    it Lastings Milledge (not the Lastings Milledge Award. Just Lastings
    Milledge).
    224. That sound you hear over Shea isn't planes flying from Laguardia,
    it's Lastings Milledge's bat swing breaking the sound barrier and
    creating a sonic boom.
    225. Major league baseball just announced that it is illegal to shake
    Lastings Milledge's hand, it is now considered a performance enhancing
    drug.
    226. Bradenton, Florida - Lastings Milledge's birthplace, has just
    been named the new capital of the United States of America.
    227. Xavier Nady did not get appendicitis. Milledge strangled him with
    his do rag and then ate the corpse. The team is keeping it quiet. Gary
    Cohen got wind of it, now he has 'appendicitis' too ...
    228. The coffee in the Mets clubhouse come in three varieties; Leaded,
    Un-leaded and Milledge.
    229. The Team, The Time, The Milledge.
    230. The Hall of Fame has been renamed Lastings Milledge's House.
    231. Julio Franco eats five egg whites for breakfast. Lastings
    Milledge eats Shawn Abner, Gregg Jefferies, Ryan Thompson, Alex Ochoa,
    and Alex Escobar.
    232. Lastings Milledge knows where they hid Jimmy Hoffa.
    233. The Mets fired Fran Healy in honor of Lastings Milledge's arrival
    to the bigs.
    234. Grant Hill played guitar at Lastings Milledge's Bar Mitzvah.
    235. Lastings Milledge knows what you did last summer.
    236. Angelina Jolie has requested that Lastings Milledge be godfather
    to her newest child.
    237. Pat Burrell has promised not to hit agaisnt the Mets for the
    remainder of his career, after Milledge threatened to give him a
    "curb-bite".
    238. Kansas City has 45 losses this year because they are afraid to
    face Lastings Milledge in the World Series.
    239. Lastings Milledge knows why Zach de la Rocha has not released his
    debut album yet.
    240. You can vote for the all-star team 25 times, because voting just
    once for Lastings Milledge isn't enough.
    241. Lastings Milledge doesn't catch lightning in a bottle, he lets it
    out when he feels like seeing rain.
    242. Lastings Milledge was offered a chance to work in porn, but no
    women would work with him for fear they'd never get to their next
    scene. Or walk straight again.
    243. Jim Duquette tried to trade Lastings, but he vetoed it on the
    account that no man can be allowed to walk around with that type of
    guilt and Lasting doesn't believe in suicide.
    244. The kid from the sixth sense met Lastings Milledge and knew he
    was cured. He had previously met Alex Escobar the day before.
    245. Doug Mientkiewicz and Mark Grudzielanek have each changed their
    names to only be four letters long as now only Lastings Milledge is
    allowed to have his name encircle his back.
    246. William Shatner never pauses for dramatic affect when he says
    Lastings Milledge, he know it doesn't need any help.
    247. Lastings was surprised to find out there was a new Superman movie
    coming out. He was a little taken aback when he realized they cast the
    role even after he turned them down.
    248. Women don't fear Lastings Milledge, but just saying his name
    leaves them too spent to go talk to him.
    249. Instead of saying cool we now just say Milledge.
    250. Lasting Millege is never late, the clocks just got too excited
    and ran fast.
    251. The next time Yankee fans ask Pedro who his daddy is, they'll be
    stunned into silence when they realize that Lastings is their daddy
    and they have answered their own question.
    252. Lastings Milledge, not Lee Harvey Oswald, assassinated JFK. And
    Milledge didn't do it with a bullet, he simply threw bullets from the
    Book Depository and the Grassy Knoll. Simultaneously.
    253. Lastings Milledge is Dwight Gooden's dealer.
    254. Lastings' mother always uses the good china when Lastings comes
    home for dinner. No reason to save them for company if your son is
    Lastings Milledge.
    255. Lastings Milledge doesn't wear a cup, because no one is stupid
    enough hit him there.
    256. All our base are belong to Lastings Milledge.
    257. David Wright has offered his 'sugar pants' nickname to Lastings
    Milledge, but Milledge turned him down insisting no one ever dare
    discuss his pants without taking them off and he doesn't get down like
    that.
    258. Paris Hilton was seen leaving lasting Milledge's hotel room while
    he was on the road in L.A., when question about her encounter with Mr.
    Milledge, Paris simply uttered "That's Hot."
    259. Lastings Milledge said he wears #44 to honor Hank Aaron.
    Actually, Aaron wore it to honor Lastings Milledge.
    260. Shea Jones just smacked his father for not naming him Lastings.
    Larry knows he was wrong and will go into a slump the next time he
    visits Shea stadium to apologize.
    261. Stevie wonder isn't blind; he's just waiting to see Lastings Milledge.
    262. Spelling becomes very hard when you include Lastings Milledge's
    name in a sentence. Everyone knows how to spell Milledge; it's the
    other words that suffer, they become a little ashamed.
    263. Jim Leyland won't smoke when Lastings Milledge comes to the
    plate, he knows he has to save his cigarettes for when Milledge is
    done.
    264. John Holmes was no Lastings Milledge.
    265. Lastings Milledge doesn't own an air conditioner. He's that cool
    by himself.
    266. Lastings Milledge doesn't count in base ten. Base four is all he needs.
    267. Lastings has apologized many times - he didn't mean to let the
    dogs out, but they were starting to annoy him.
    268. Lastings doesn't pump his fist out of excitement. He punches the
    air for unsuccessfully trying to slow him down.
    269. Lasting's teammates thought it would be funny to make the rookie
    wear a dress on a road trip. While in drag, Lastings was discovered by
    a talent scout at the airport and is now the biggest female supermodel
    in all of Europe.
    1,000,000. Unlike the list on the Cole Hamels site, all of these facts
    about Lastings Milledge are actually true.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kotch
    1. Lastings Milledge isn't a 5 tool player. Lastings Milledge has more
    than 100 tools, many of which are unknown to most baseball scouts.
    2. Lastings Milledge wasn't slapping fives with fans after his first
    big league homerun. He was healing lepers and cripples.
    3. Keith Hernandez thinks a girl's place is in the dugout as long as
    they're on the arm of Lastings Milledge.
    4. Lastings Milledge doesn't hit 8th. Those seven other guys are just
    warming up the pitcher for the first real at bat of the game.
    5. Shea Stadium is no longer known as a pitcher's park now that
    Lastings Milledge hits there.
    6. Lastings Milledge can fix Victor Zambrano in ten minutes.
    7. Lastings Milledge has taught Willie Randolph how to execute a double switch.
    8. Johnny Damon wishes he can have Lastings Milledge's hair.
    9. When Steve Trachsel deliberates on the mound, he's thinking of all
    the ways Lastings Milledge will help the Mets win.
    10. Light has to kick it into high gear just to try and keep up with
    Lastings Milledge's bat speed.
    11. Lastings Milledge's three children will be named Turner, Citizen's
    Bank and 'Chipperer'.
    12. Lastings Milledge also has an illegitimate child. He was born in
    1895 and his name is Babe Ruth.
    13. Billy Wagner likes to warm up just to watch Lastings Milledge play
    right field.
    14. Alex Ochoa and Alex Escobar carry pictures of Lastings Milledge in
    their wallet to remind them of the players they should have become.
    15. Confucius quotes Lastings Milledge.
    16. Lastings Milledge is your American Idol.
    17. The cross around Lasting Milledge's neck is the secret to the Da Vinci Code.
    18. SNY has changed its call letters to LMNY.
    19. A-Rod no longer has a crush on Derek Jeter. He is now obsessed
    with LastingsMilledge.
    20. Lastings Milledge knocked Armando Benitez back to 2001.
    21. Lastings Milledge can play all three outfield positions at the same time.
    22. Lastings Milledge only took #44 because he's waiting for jersey #666.
    23. The word "swagger" has been redefined by Webster's to mean
    Lastings Milledge.
    24. Lastings Milledge is not the next Willie Mays. Willie Mays is just
    a precursor to Lastings Milledge.
    25. Jason Grimsley admitted to using steroids and turned himself over
    to the FBI after he saw Lastings Milledge was coming to town in June.
    26. MLB makes Lastings Milledge use a foam bat.
    27. Lastings Milledge beat Jose Reyes in a race running backwards.
    28. Fred Wilpon has renamed his son Lastings.
    29. Lastings Milledge can tell the difference between diet and regular
    Dr.Pepper.
    30. Jose Lima dyed his dreadlocks black in honor of Lastings Milledge.
    31. Lastings Milledge wiped the smile off of Andruw Jones' face. Now
    Andruw has a permanent twitch from the pain inflicted on him by the
    immortal Lastings.
    32. Roger Clemens has it written in his contract that he does not have
    to pitch against Lastings Milledge.
    33. Lastings Milledge has his own dressing room because when Lastings
    Milledge changes, his manhood darkens the room and the other players
    aren't able to get their uniforms on.
    34. People dissolve Lastings Milledge's hair roots in water and drink
    the potion for everlasting life.
    35. CBS just added CSI: LASTINGS MILLEDGE to their new Fall lineup.
    36. Lastings Milledge ate Mike Tyson's children.
    37. Rickey Henderson wishes his name was Lastings Milledge so he'd
    have a better name to refer to himself in the third person with.
    38. God says: "Holy Lastings Milledge."
    39. Lastings Milledge is actually the messiah. He will reveal himself
    in 2021 after he wins the Mets fifteen World Series titles.
    40. Lastings Milledge has had sex with more than 30,000 women. And
    this was just while he was in the minor leagues.
    41. Lastings Milledge is the odds on favorite to win the Jets starting QB job.
    42. Jim Duquette says he wouldn't trade Lastings Milledge.
    43. The Texans didn't draft Reggie Bush, because they're hoping
    Lastings Milledge will play running back forthem.
    44. Barry Bonds claims Lastings Milledge is on steroids.
    45. There is a new favorite to win the Belmont Stakes, Lastings Milledge.
    46. Lastings Milledge can break 9 cinder blocks that are lit on fire.
    47. Lastings Milledge freed Heath Bell.
    48. Lastings Milledge doesn't take strikes. He temporarily falls
    asleep at the plate to rest up before his next big hit.
    49. Trees dream of one day becoming a Lastings Milledge bat.
    50. Lastings Milledge isn't hip-hop; hip-hop is Lastings Milledge.
    51. Two-thirds of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered
    byLastings Milledge.
    52. Civil War cannons were nicknamed "Lastings Milledge's Arm."
    53. Lastings doesn't run he wills the earth beneath him to move.
    54. Lastings carries his clothes in cardboard boxes because luggage
    would burst open from its touch.
    55. Would you like to see Lastings circle the earth on foot? Would you
    like to see it again?
    56. Lastings through osmosis will cause his teamates to test positive for HGH.
    57. Roger Clements won't throw that bat head at Lastings Milledge. He
    knows that Milledge would shove the bat head down his throat, eat his
    children and force him to retire.
    58. Lastings Milledge understands the frequency.
    59. Lastings Milledge beat traffic on the Van Wyck Expressway.
    60. Lastings Milledge traded Kaz Matsui to the Colorado Rockies.
    61. Lastings Milledge reminded Jose Valentin how to hit.
    62. Lastings Milledge can build skyscrapers and then destroy them with
    a blink of his eyes.
    63. Lastings Milledge got the Beatles back together.
    64. Lastings Milledge laughed at the end of "The Notebook."
    65. When Lastings Milledge hits a home run, he's disappointed that his
    at bat is over.
    66. Lastings Milledge removed Rick Peterson's jacket.
    67. Alay Soler defected to America so he can play with Lastings Milledge.
    68. George Steinbrenner doesn't have enough money to buy Lastings Milledge.
    69. Lastings Milledge went back in time to 1999 to pitch in relief of
    Kenny Rogers in Game 6 of the NLCS against the Braves. He struck
    Andruw Jones out looking and then came back to hit the game winning
    home run. He then propelled the Mets to a game 7 victory where he
    pitched a perfect game and hit five home runs.
    70. Lastings Milledge's bat breaks Mariano Rivera's cutter in two.
    71. When Lastings Milledge threw Nomar Garciapara out at second, he
    was aiming for Nomar's head.
    72. Lastings Milledge sold his soul for a donut but when Satan came
    around to collect, Lastings beat him all the way back to hell. The
    donut was chocolate glazed and delicious.
    73. At the end of his career, MLB will rename the MVP award to the
    "Just not as good as Lastings" award.
    74. Lastings Milledge does not trade Nolan Ryan for Jim Fregosi.
    75. If a tree falls in the forest, Lastings Milledge hears it.
    76. The phone company gave Lastings Milledge a 212 number - in fact,
    they gave him all of them.
    77. Lastings Milledge used his jedi mind tricks to force Xavier Nady's
    appendix into bursting.
    78. Lastings Milledge invented the whistle tips for car mufflers...Woot Woot!
    79. Nobody puts Baby in the corner, except Lastings Milledge.
    80. Lastings Milledge doesn't dodge bullets; he uses them for batting practice.
    81. Lastings Milledge can bend light with his arm.
    82. Lastings Milledge's arm is so strong that the ball will appear in
    the fielder's glove before he even throws it.
    83. Lastings Milledge would've struck out Paul O'Neill in Game 1 of
    the 2000 World Series.
    84. Bill Buckner missed the ball in Game 6 because an image of
    Lastings Milledge flashed across his mind, temporarily paralyzing him.
    85. Lastings Milledge built Rome in a day and still had enough time to
    conquer the rest of the known world as well.
    86. May 30 will be forever known as "Lastings Milledge Day."
    Bobbleheads will not be included as it is sacrilege to produce
    anything in his likeness.
    87. Lastings Milledge sank the Bismarck
    88. "Who's Your Daddy?" Answer: Lastings Milledge
    89. Lastings Milledge is a baseball player with all of their strengths
    and none of their weaknesses.
    90. "The Exorcist" always helps Lastings Milledge fall asleep easier.
    91. Randy Johnson is awful this year because he's too worried about
    pitching to Lastings Milledge.
    92. Thomas Jefferson originally wrote for the Declaration of
    Independence, "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that no man is
    created equal to Lastings Milledge."
    93. Lastings Milledge, not Morpheus, is considered by many authorities
    to be the most dangerous man alive.
    94. Lastings Milledge can split the atom with his warm-up swings.
    95. God created the world in six days and rested on the seventh.
    Lastings Milledge did it all in one day and still had time to play a
    double header.
    96. Lastings Milledge is his own species. His biological name is
    "Homerun Rakings."
    97. All matter is naturally drawn to Lastings Milledge.
    98. Lastings Milledge has to hold back when he throws or else he would
    shoot the Earth out of its rotation.
    99. Lastings Milledge was born without original sin.
    100. It is said that no matter can hit absolute zero and completely
    stop, but when Lastings Milledge plays, EVERYTHING stops to watch.
    101. "The World's Strongest Man Competition" has been renamed "The
    Lastings Milledge Workout Hour."
    102. Billy Wagner always asks Lastings Milledge how to throw harder.
    103. Lastings Milledge wanted to be a pitcher, but the radar gun
    doesn't have four digits.
    104. Lastings Milledge moves for no man.
    105. When Lastings Milledge eventually dies, everything will cease to
    be. Nothing can exist without Lastings Milledge's presence.
    106. The answer to all of life's problems is Lastings Milledge.
    107. Lastings Milledge killed al-Zarqawi. He died when Lastings
    Milledge's second ML homerun was shown on Iraqi TV. He couldn't take
    that blast.
    108. The Pope has decreed that Lastings Milledege, not Jesus is God's only son.
    109. Lastings Milledge can talk about Fight Club.
    110. Lastings Milledge did not come to the Mets from AAA, he came from Krypton.
    111. The 11 teams who passed on Lastings Milledge in the 2003 draft
    will be contracted.
    112. Lastings Milledge puts his shoes on first, then his socks.
    113. Lastings Milledge is the only drummer from Spinal Tap to survive.
    114. Lastings Milledge gets pulled over for speeding when he circles the bases.
    115. Lastings Milledge brought the Giants and Dodgers back to New York
    just so he can decimate their pitching staffs 19 times a year.
    116. Delmon Young threw his bat at a minor league umpire after the ump
    told him,"You're not Lastings Milledge."
    117. Lastings Milledge doesn't need to blow on soup when it's hot.
    118. Lastings Milledge is better than a Mac and a PC.
    119. Lastings Milledge eats raw habanero chiles for the fun of it.
    120. Lastings Milledge tried to call his shot like Babe Ruth, but he
    realized the human eye can't see as far as he was going to hit the
    ball.
    121. Lastings Milledge was sent from the future to protect John
    Connor, but heinstead decided to suit up for the Mets for the good of
    New York City.
    122. Lastings Milledge didn't learn how to ride a bike by using
    training wheels. He learned on a motorcycle.
    123. Lastings Milledge learned how to walk before he crawled.
    124. Lastings Milledge injured Gary Sheffield's wrist in an arm wrestling match.
    125. Lastings Milledge floats like a butterfly and beats the crap out of you.
    126. Lastings Milledge is the voice in "Field of Dreams"
    127. Lastings Milledge is 12 years old. His parents lied on his birth
    certificate so he could play with the Mets sooner.
    128. Lastings Milledge knows how many licks it takes to get to the
    tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop.
    129. Lastings Milledge didn't get called up. He called Omar Minaya and
    told him he was coming up.
    130. Mets management has decided to change the "Diamond Dash"
    promotion to "Get Thrown Out at Third by Lastings Milledge."
    131. Mike and the Mad Dog said that there's a little Willie Mays in
    Lastings Milledge. Actually, there's a little bit of Lastings Milledge
    in all of us, but we fail to unlock our full potential.
    132. Lasting Milledge's hair is actually a group of antennas that pick
    up signals from his home planet.
    133. TV cameras are naturally drawn to Lastings Milledge. They need a
    group of cameramen from keeping the cameras from constantly focusing
    on him.
    134. You cannot grasp the true form of Lastings Milledge's swing.
    135. If you see Lastings Milledge on your television, he'll throw you
    out at second seven days later.
    136. Lastings Milledge's hair is its own nation. It is currently
    awaiting entrance into the United Nations.
    137. UFC matches were invented by Lastings Milledge so he can stretch
    out before each game.
    138. Lastings Milledge achieved enlightenment. He wasn't impressed.
    139. The 11th Commandment: Thou shalt not run on Lastings Milledge.
    140. Lastings Milledge has you. And your kids. And your wife.
    141. AA players are regularly sacrificed to keep Lastings Milledge
    from extracting vengeance.
    142. If David Wright and Lastings Milledge were to fuse into one
    being, all would be obliterated.
    143. Melky Cabrera and Ryan Howard are Lastings Milledge wannabes.
    144. Goose Gossage would never throw at Lastings Milledge's head.
    145. The Holy Trinity has been replaced by Reyes, Wright, and Lastings
    Milledge. Pray to them and you shall be saved.
    146. Carlos Beltran is hitting thanks to Lastings Milledge.
    147. Lastings Milledge will be the next NFL franchise in Los Angeles.
    They/He will start play in 2015.
    148. Lastings Milledge injured Albert Pujols so he wouldn't get any
    ideas about trying to break the home run record before Milledge does.
    149. Plutonium is a byproduct of Lasting Milledge's swing.
    150. "Caesar" was just the Roman way of saying "Lastings Milledge."
    151. Lastings Milledge's arm can power the entire North American continent.
    152. It is forbidden in some cultures to even say the words "Lastings Milledge."
    153. Lastings Milledge has 100 concubines. Every single Braves and
    Phillies player is one of them, except for Chipper Jones. He couldn't
    make it because Lastings Milledge waved his magic wand and turned
    Chipper into a rat. Then he gazed at him and sent him straight to rat
    hell.
    154. Lastings Milledge's hard slide didn't take out John Schuerholz's
    son. Schuerholz fell down and injured himself when he found out his
    team was playing the Tides and Milledge was coming. And yes,
    Schuerholz is a *****.
    155. Lastings Milledge ghostwrote the bible.
    156. Lastings Milledge will be the first black President. In fact, he
    already is. He will take over as soon as he hits his 900th homerun
    sometime in 2007.
    157. The new Windows version has been renamed Microsoft Windows LM.
    Lastings wrote the code for the entire OS in less than one hour.
    158. Lastings Milledge has 30 WS rings. He went into the future and
    retrieved all of them so he doesn't have to wait.
    159. Lastings Milledge once hired Donald Trump to be his personal bat
    boy....after a week Lastings said, YOUR FIRED. Yes, he said "your"
    instead of "you're." Despite his super powers, grammar has never been
    Lastings Milledge's forte.
    160. I walked into the room to find Lastings Milledge having sex with
    my wife. I waited until he finished and I thanked him.
    161. After his game tying homerun against Armando Benetiz, Lastings
    Milledge pointed towards the heavens and thanked God. God assured him
    he had nothing to do with it and pointed right back at him adding a
    "Boo-Yaaaah!" Milledge cooly pointed right back and said, "Mo'
    Boo-Yaaah to ya."
    162. If you pirate movies or music, Lastings will come to your house
    and give you an unholy beating.
    163. Muhammed Ali is changing his name to Lastings Milledge.
    164. Lastings Milledge IS instant replay. There is a delay time
    between Lasting Milledge's swing and when your eye actually picks it
    up.
    165. Lastings Milledge is currently building the Mets new stadium.
    166. Lastings Milledge went back in time and renamed Shea Stadium
    "Lastings Milledge's Crib." The Mets immediately became the winningest
    franchise in baseball history because every team was too afraid to
    play them.
    167. Lastings Milledge is so fast that he arrives at home plate before
    completing his swing. Obviously, all of his hits are homeruns, whether
    the human eye can catch them or not.
    168. It is impossible to see a slow motion version of Lasting Milledge's plays.
    169. Lastings Milledge hit a home run on his back swing.
    170. The Midas touch turns everything to gold. The Lastings Milledge
    touch turns everything into homeruns.
    171. For the filming of "The Matrix", Lastings Milledge was called in
    to do all of the stunts.
    172. The Braves don't talk trash because Lastings Milledge would go to
    Turner Field and beat the crap out of them.
    173. The Braves are losing because the force of Lastings Milledge
    pushes all teams downward in the division.
    174. Many girls think David Wright is cute, but they immediately have
    orgasms when Lasting Milledge's picture is shown.
    175. Warren Spahn threw sixteen innings in a start. Lastings Milledge
    was doing that when he was in his mama's belly.
    176. Only Lastings Milledge makes an out when he wants to. If he
    wanted, he could shatter Ty Cobb's batting average record, but that
    would be unfair.
    177. When Manny Ramirez poses after a homerun, he is looking up at the
    sky for Lastings Milledge's approval.
    178. Lastings Milledge could climb the Green Monster.
    179. When seeing Luis Gonzalez throw, Lastings Milledge has to
    restrain from killing him. He hates seeing his greatest talent being
    butchered.
    180. Ichiro, Jeff Francoeur, Carlos Beltran, and Vladimir Guerrero
    combine for 28% of Lastings Milledge's arm strength.
    181. Jay Payton was the corrupt prototype of Lastings Milledge.
    Thankfully, the final version is here.
    182. Lastings Milledge's swing is the sound of inevitability.
    183. Cliff Floyd and Julio Franco fight over carrying Lastings Milledge's bags.
    184. In 1984, scientists took the 1984 NL All Star team and conducted
    an experiment. They took all of their DNA and mated that with a
    woman's who was a member of the USC softball NCAA champions. The
    result: Lastings Milledge. He is actually a twin, his brother is Danny
    DeVito. Although, DeVito admits Lastings Milledge is clearly the
    superior twin.
    185. The Tsunami of 2004 was a result of one of Lastings Milledge's
    homeruns landing in the Indian Ocean. Graciously, Lastings has since
    apologized.
    186. Lastings Milledge is a joker, a smoker and a midnight toker.
    187. In the Soccer World Cup draw, Lastings Milledge is his own group.
    188. Chipper Jones washes Lastins Milledge's underwear.
    189. Lastings Milledge doesn't need a Blackberry. He closes his eyes
    and all of his email appears in his head. Then in one glance he reads
    the 1000 messages he receives every hour.
    190. Lastins Milledge designed the '86 Mets racing stripe uniforms.
    191. Lastings Milledge healed Jose Reyes' hamstring.
    192. E-mail only works because Lastings Milledge can throw your
    letters to other computers.
    193. Lastings Milledge threw Derek Jeter out at home plate in Yankee
    Stadium. Lastings was playing RF at Shea at the time.
    194. Lastings Milledge can finally get Pedro a win. No one has asked him yet.
    195. It's a bird. It's a plane, NO it's LASTINGS MILLEDGE!!!
    196. Lastings Milledge can assemble IKEA furniture in his sleep.
    197. Lastings Milledge wasn't just high fiving people down the right
    field line, he was picking out people he can bench press between
    innings.
    198. Teen spirit smells like Lastings Milledge.
    199. Sammy Sosa didn't have pieces of cork in his bat when he hit over
    60 homers three years in a row. He had pieces of Lastings Milledge.
    200. Gregg Jefferies throws a batting helmet every time he looks at
    Lastings Milledge.
    201. Lastings Milledge can get from Times Square to Shea Stadium
    faster than the #7 Express train. Sometimes he carries the train in
    his back pocket as he goes to work.
    202. Lastings Milledge hair doesn't grow, he intimidates it out of his head.
    203. Michael Jordan left the NBA for baseball because he admired an
    adolescent Lastings Milledge.
    204. Opposing teams LOVE when Lastings Milledge slides spikes up into
    them.. Because they get to grace the spikes of God.
    205. Lastings Milledge isn't on the All-Star ballot because no other
    outfielder would receive a vote. The other starters would be whoever
    Lastings feels like playing with that day.
    206. Some Atlanta residents believe that the coming of Lastings
    Milledge means that Armageddon is coming, this October.
    207. During the Cuban Missile Crisis, JFK aimed Lastings Milledge's
    arm at the Soviet Union; the conflict was soon resolved.
    208. Lastings Milledge doesn't ask, "can you hear me now?" He just
    appears and kicks the crap of the person who doesn't hear him.
    209. The Braves were eliminated from playoff contention the day
    Lastings Milledge was called up to the Mets.
    210. When Lastings Milledge retires, baseball will fold.
    211. Bill James had to come up with a new Sabermetrics formula to
    accurately understand the impact Lastings Milledge has had on
    baseball. The formula: e = LM squared.
    212 . The Boston Red Sox won the 2004 World Series because Lastings
    Milledge likes a good New England Clam Chowder.
    213. David Ortiz owes it all to Lastings Milledge.
    214. Human Growth Hormone is just bottled Lastings Milledge essence.
    215. Lastings Milledge knows where Sammy Sosa has disappeared to.
    216. Hot and cold streaks really only happen because Lastings Milledge
    decides whether he likes you or not on a week to week basis.
    217. Mark McGwire and Barry Bonds grew from Lastings Milledge's baby teeth.
    218. Lastings Milldedge is the man from Nantucket.
    219. Dae Sung Koo never doubled off Randy Johnson.... Lastings
    Milledge hit it for him, he then threw Koo head first into home plate.
    220. After David Ortiz met Lastings Milledge, he changed his name to El Nino.
    221. Shea Stadium is considered a "no fly zone" during Mets games
    because Lastings Milledge's home runs interfere with Laguardia's
    flight plans.
    222. I got a ball signed by Lastings Milledge. I traded it to George
    Steinbrenner the next day for the Yankees and his first born son.
    223. After this year, MLB has decided to combine the MVP, Cy Young,
    Gold Glove, Silver Slugger, and Rookie of the Year awards and rename
    it Lastings Milledge (not the Lastings Milledge Award. Just Lastings
    Milledge).
    224. That sound you hear over Shea isn't planes flying from Laguardia,
    it's Lastings Milledge's bat swing breaking the sound barrier and
    creating a sonic boom.
    225. Major league baseball just announced that it is illegal to shake
    Lastings Milledge's hand, it is now considered a performance enhancing
    drug.
    226. Bradenton, Florida - Lastings Milledge's birthplace, has just
    been named the new capital of the United States of America.
    227. Xavier Nady did not get appendicitis. Milledge strangled him with
    his do rag and then ate the corpse. The team is keeping it quiet. Gary
    Cohen got wind of it, now he has 'appendicitis' too ...
    228. The coffee in the Mets clubhouse come in three varieties; Leaded,
    Un-leaded and Milledge.
    229. The Team, The Time, The Milledge.
    230. The Hall of Fame has been renamed Lastings Milledge's House.
    231. Julio Franco eats five egg whites for breakfast. Lastings
    Milledge eats Shawn Abner, Gregg Jefferies, Ryan Thompson, Alex Ochoa,
    and Alex Escobar.
    232. Lastings Milledge knows where they hid Jimmy Hoffa.
    233. The Mets fired Fran Healy in honor of Lastings Milledge's arrival
    to the bigs.
    234. Grant Hill played guitar at Lastings Milledge's Bar Mitzvah.
    235. Lastings Milledge knows what you did last summer.
    236. Angelina Jolie has requested that Lastings Milledge be godfather
    to her newest child.
    237. Pat Burrell has promised not to hit agaisnt the Mets for the
    remainder of his career, after Milledge threatened to give him a
    "curb-bite".
    238. Kansas City has 45 losses this year because they are afraid to
    face Lastings Milledge in the World Series.
    239. Lastings Milledge knows why Zach de la Rocha has not released his
    debut album yet.
    240. You can vote for the all-star team 25 times, because voting just
    once for Lastings Milledge isn't enough.
    241. Lastings Milledge doesn't catch lightning in a bottle, he lets it
    out when he feels like seeing rain.
    242. Lastings Milledge was offered a chance to work in porn, but no
    women would work with him for fear they'd never get to their next
    scene. Or walk straight again.
    243. Jim Duquette tried to trade Lastings, but he vetoed it on the
    account that no man can be allowed to walk around with that type of
    guilt and Lasting doesn't believe in suicide.
    244. The kid from the sixth sense met Lastings Milledge and knew he
    was cured. He had previously met Alex Escobar the day before.
    245. Doug Mientkiewicz and Mark Grudzielanek have each changed their
    names to only be four letters long as now only Lastings Milledge is
    allowed to have his name encircle his back.
    246. William Shatner never pauses for dramatic affect when he says
    Lastings Milledge, he know it doesn't need any help.
    247. Lastings was surprised to find out there was a new Superman movie
    coming out. He was a little taken aback when he realized they cast the
    role even after he turned them down.
    248. Women don't fear Lastings Milledge, but just saying his name
    leaves them too spent to go talk to him.
    249. Instead of saying cool we now just say Milledge.
    250. Lasting Millege is never late, the clocks just got too excited
    and ran fast.
    251. The next time Yankee fans ask Pedro who his daddy is, they'll be
    stunned into silence when they realize that Lastings is their daddy
    and they have answered their own question.
    252. Lastings Milledge, not Lee Harvey Oswald, assassinated JFK. And
    Milledge didn't do it with a bullet, he simply threw bullets from the
    Book Depository and the Grassy Knoll. Simultaneously.
    253. Lastings Milledge is Dwight Gooden's dealer.
    254. Lastings' mother always uses the good china when Lastings comes
    home for dinner. No reason to save them for company if your son is
    Lastings Milledge.
    255. Lastings Milledge doesn't wear a cup, because no one is stupid
    enough hit him there.
    256. All our base are belong to Lastings Milledge.
    257. David Wright has offered his 'sugar pants' nickname to Lastings
    Milledge, but Milledge turned him down insisting no one ever dare
    discuss his pants without taking them off and he doesn't get down like
    that.
    258. Paris Hilton was seen leaving lasting Milledge's hotel room while
    he was on the road in L.A., when question about her encounter with Mr.
    Milledge, Paris simply uttered "That's Hot."
    259. Lastings Milledge said he wears #44 to honor Hank Aaron.
    Actually, Aaron wore it to honor Lastings Milledge.
    260. Shea Jones just smacked his father for not naming him Lastings.
    Larry knows he was wrong and will go into a slump the next time he
    visits Shea stadium to apologize.
    261. Stevie wonder isn't blind; he's just waiting to see Lastings Milledge.
    262. Spelling becomes very hard when you include Lastings Milledge's
    name in a sentence. Everyone knows how to spell Milledge; it's the
    other words that suffer, they become a little ashamed.
    263. Jim Leyland won't smoke when Lastings Milledge comes to the
    plate, he knows he has to save his cigarettes for when Milledge is
    done.
    264. John Holmes was no Lastings Milledge.
    265. Lastings Milledge doesn't own an air conditioner. He's that cool
    by himself.
    266. Lastings Milledge doesn't count in base ten. Base four is all he needs.
    267. Lastings has apologized many times - he didn't mean to let the
    dogs out, but they were starting to annoy him.
    268. Lastings doesn't pump his fist out of excitement. He punches the
    air for unsuccessfully trying to slow him down.
    269. Lasting's teammates thought it would be funny to make the rookie
    wear a dress on a road trip. While in drag, Lastings was discovered by
    a talent scout at the airport and is now the biggest female supermodel
    in all of Europe.
    1,000,000. Unlike the list on the Cole Hamels site, all of these facts
    about Lastings Milledge are actually true.
    How long did it take you to come up with these?

  3. #3
    Veteran
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    i'm wondering if it was really necessary to quote for the next thread.

  4. #4
    JetsInsider.com Legend
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets Cover Girl
    How long did it take you to come up with these?
    Its from Milledgefacts.com or net

  5. #5
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    I submitted these:

    202. Lastings Milledge hair doesn't grow, he intimidates it out of his head.
    203. Michael Jordan left the NBA for baseball because he admired an
    adolescent Lastings Milledge.

  6. #6
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    Best one by far...No one puts baby in the corner, except Lastings Milledge.

  7. #7
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    Some day I'm actually gonna read all that. Maybe.


    9-3 Mets. Everyone's scored. They've scored 73 runs in 9 games on this road trip. Sweet!

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