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Thread: 1957 - 2006. My Conservative friends will like

  1. #1

    1957 - 2006. My Conservative friends will like

    Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.

    1957 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his
    car and gets his to show Jack.

    2006 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and
    never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized
    students and teachers.

    Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

    1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best
    friends Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.

    2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge
    them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

    Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.

    1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits
    still in class.

    2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets
    extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

    Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him
    a whipping.

    1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, retires from the
    Corps, and becomes a successful businessman.

    2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care
    and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she
    remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has
    affair with psychologist.

    Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.

    1957 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.

    2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car
    searched for drugs and weapons.

    Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

    1957 - 5 High School Boys drop out and join the Corps. Mary does her
    senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.

    2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the
    ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her
    parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more
    careful next time.

    Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.

    1957: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.

    2006: Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper
    articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement
    for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state
    school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core
    curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living
    because he can't speak English.

    Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July,
    puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

    1957 - Ants die.

    2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic
    terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
    confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed
    to fly again.

    Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He
    is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

    1957 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

    2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She
    faces 3 years in State Prison.

  2. #2
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    [B]Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July,
    puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.

    1957 - Ants die.

    2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic
    terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers
    confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed
    to fly again.[/B]

    Also - massive demonstrations outside Johnny's home by PETA, which eventually torches Johnny's house. Al Sharpton shows up to decry racism against black ants. Cindy Sheehan demands to meet with Johnny and find out why any ants had to die. :rolleyes:

  3. #3
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    [QUOTE=JCnflies]...
    Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He
    is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.

    1957 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

    2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She
    faces 3 years in State Prison.[/QUOTE]


    Don't forget - 2006 - Tag, football, kickball all running and ball games are banned at recess for fear of lawsuits.

  4. #4
    Hey, don't forget----------

    Scenario: Sally serves her husbands dinner cold and late. Johnny shows her her role with the back of his hands.


    1957: She fell down the stairs

    2007: She lawyers up and Johnny has to go live on his younger brothers couch.

  5. #5
    Or...

    Scenario: Black people want civil rights

    1957: Police release dogs on demonstrators

    2006: Black people have rights

  6. #6
    flushingjet
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    [QUOTE=SnuffTheRooster]Hey, don't forget----------

    Scenario: Sally serves her husbands dinner cold and late. Johnny shows her her role with the back of his hands.


    1957: She fell down the stairs

    2007: She lawyers up and Johnny has to go live on his younger brothers couch.[/QUOTE]

    Choke,
    Your sister in law doesn't happen to be named Sally...?

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE=flushingjet]Choke,
    Your sister in law doesn't happen to be named Sally...?[/QUOTE]


    Nah, probably his ex-wife. :yes:

  8. #8
    Banned
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    [QUOTE=SnuffTheRooster]Hey, don't forget----------

    Scenario: Sally serves her husbands dinner cold and late. Johnny shows her her role with the back of his hands.


    1957: She fell down the stairs

    2007: She lawyers up and Johnny has to go live on his younger brothers couch.[/QUOTE]


    :D

  9. #9
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    [QUOTE=CoolGreen222]Or...

    Scenario: Black people want civil rights

    1957: Police release dogs on demonstrators

    2006: Black people have rights[/QUOTE]


    :yes:



    and unlike the useless drivel from the original poster,, these last 2 statements are true

  10. #10
    TMahoney
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    Bobby goes camping for a weekend. Bobby is bitten by a venomous snake.

    1957 - Bobby dies.

    2006 - Bobby uses his cell phone and calls for help. Bobby lives.

  11. #11
    JetsInsider.com Legend
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    [QUOTE=CarlSpackler]Bobby goes camping for a weekend. Bobby is bitten by a venomous snake.

    1957 - Bobby dies.

    2006 - Bobby uses his cell phone and calls for help. Bobby lives.[/QUOTE]

    Actually, Bobby was unplanned, so he was aborted by his Mom.

    Now he doesn't ever have to worry about snakes at least, right? ;)

  12. #12
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    [QUOTE=Renaissance10]:yes:



    and unlike the useless drivel from the original poster,, these last 2 statements are true[/QUOTE]


    This comment is useless too. What is wrong with the thread?

  13. #13
    [QUOTE=JetFanTransplant]Nah, probably his ex-wife. :yes:[/QUOTE]


    She's no ex yet. But I may be the one sleeping on the couch for a while. Just found out about an hour ago the she's pregnant :D Its our first, so wish me luck.

  14. #14
    You are all whacked :yes:

    All I was trying to show is that we have gotten just a wee bit sensitive. Might even show with some of the responses.................

    Nice try on the wife beating. It still goes on way too much - or have yuo not noticed.

    civil rights changed (Thank God) but that's apples and oranges.
    same for better medicine.

  15. #15
    [QUOTE=Warfish]Actually, Bobby was unplanned, so he was aborted by his Mom.
    [/QUOTE]

    great so he won't grow up to be a crack addicted car jacker

    oh no wait i forget every aborted child is a future albert einstein

  16. #16
    TMahoney
    Guest
    [QUOTE=Warfish]Actually, Bobby was unplanned, so he was aborted by his Mom.

    Now he doesn't ever have to worry about snakes at least, right? ;)[/QUOTE]

    You were the one to bring up abortion.

    The problem with this thread is; why are the 1950's considered the "golden age" of America?

  17. #17
    [QUOTE=CarlSpackler]
    The problem with this thread is; why are the 1950's considered the "golden age" of America?[/QUOTE]

    the people proporting that theory are usually white straight males

    it was the golden age...if you were a white straight male.

    everyone else could go screw.

  18. #18
    [QUOTE=CarlSpackler]Why are the 1950's considered the "golden age" of America?[/QUOTE]

    Hiding under a wooden school desk to save yourself from a nuclear holocaust was the shizznig!
    :cool:

  19. #19
    Did Mary bang all five? Gotta love a guy who advocates dropping out of school. That's the answer, go to the Marines for 3 years and come out uneducated.
    A special school for expectant mothers? Nice, have your baby, but we are going to make sure you will not associate with any of the normal kids.

    What if Mary claims to be the second coming of the Virgin Mary? You gotta respect that don't you?


    [QUOTE=JCnflies]Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.

    1957 - 5 High School Boys drop out and join the Corps. Mary does her
    senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.

    2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the
    ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her
    parent's consent or knowledge. Mary given condoms and told to be more
    careful next time.

    [/QUOTE]

  20. #20
    Wow, I thought this was pretty funny.

    It sucks that no one has a sense of humor anymore.

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