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Thread: OT Sick Jokes

  1. #1
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    OT Sick Jokes

    I got this from a my spacer...

    An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

    "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

    "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky b*stard, was she pretty?" "Dunno... Never found the head!"

    Do you have any jokes?

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by LSJF
    I got this from a my spacer...

    An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

    "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

    "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky b*stard, was she pretty?" "Dunno... Never found the head!"

    Do you have any jokes?
    LMAO ..thats just wrong.

  3. #3
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    what do you get when you throw a baby down a flight of stairs?






























    i dont know about you but i get an erection.

  4. #4
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    What do you do when an epileptic has a seizure in a bathtub?











    Throw in some Tide and your laundry.

  5. #5
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    A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."

  6. #6
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    Was that suppose to be funny?

  7. #7
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    Tom Brady and his two best friends go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, his friend on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" His buddy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then Brady wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buzzsaw
    Tom Brady and his two best friends go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, his friend on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" His buddy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then Brady wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Buzzsaw
    Tom Brady and his two best friends go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms, so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, his friend on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" His buddy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then Brady wakes up and says, "That's funny, I dreamed I was skiing!"
    brady's been using that "excuse" since he was drafted

  10. #10
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    Why do girls have legs?
























    So they don't leave a trail like a slug.

    SAR I

  11. #11
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    ^

    Why did cavemen drag women by their hair?












    If you drag them by their feet, they fill up with sand.

  12. #12
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    Why do women have vaginas?





















    So men will let them buy dinner.

    SAR I

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    whats the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus?












    it only takes one nail to hang the picture.

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    Quote Originally Posted by LSJF
    I got this from a my spacer...

    An ugly man walks into his local pub with a big grin on his face. "What are you so happy about?" asks the barman.

    "Well, I'll tell you," replies the ugly man. "You know, I live by the railroad tracks. Well, on my way home last night, I noticed a young woman tied to the tracks, like in the films. I, of course, went and cut her free and took her back to my place. Anyway, to make a long story short, I scored big time! We made love all night, all over the house. We did everything, me on top, sometimes her on top, every position imaginable!"

    "Fantastic!" exclaimed the barman. "You lucky b*stard, was she pretty?" "Dunno... Never found the head!"

    Do you have any jokes?
    HHHAAAAAHH

  15. #15
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    Good ones...keep em coming.

  16. #16
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    What do you call a Midget Mexican lady








    cunswaylo

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    What's the different between a Jew and a large pizza?
















    A large pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

  18. #18
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    ibtd

  19. #19
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    Mick that is just a bit over the line IMO

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ikeyman3
    Mick that is just a bit over the line IMO
    It says sick jokes and that is sick.

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