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Thread: A little political humor

  1. #1
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    A little political humor

    Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
    >hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the
    summer & would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the
    winter.
    >
    > The two most important events in all history were the invention
    of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to
    get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization
    & together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two
    distinct subgroups: Liberals and Conservatives.
    >
    > Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the
    beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can
    were invented yet, so while our early human were sitting around
    waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery.
    That's how villages were formed.
    >
    Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at
    >night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is
    >known as the Conservative movement.
    >
    > Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to
    live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and
    doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of
    the Liberal movement. Some of these liberal men eventually evolved
    into women. The >rest became known as girliemen.
    >
    > Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
    >cats, the invention of group therapy and group hugs and the concept of
    >Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that
    >conservatives provided.
    >
    > Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
    >most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized
    >by the jackass.
    >
    > Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer
    >white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef
    >well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare.
    >
    > Another interesting revolutionary side note: most of their women have
    >higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal
    >injury attorneys, journalists, home interior designers, dreamers in
    >Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the
    >designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.
    >
    > Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide
    >for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys,
    >lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
    >officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who
    >works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other
    >conservatives who want to actually work for a living.
    >
    > Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
    >and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are
    >more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained
    >in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after
    >the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get MORE for
    >nothing.
    >
    > Here ends today's lesson in world history: It should be noted that a
    >Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
    >forwarding it. A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the
    >absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to
    >other true believers. And to more liberals just to tick them off.

    Please don;t take it to seriously:)

  2. #2
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    seems to me that with recent events in the news, conservatives have no reason to gloat, about anything.

  3. #3
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    No one ever has a reason tyo gloat................. but i think this kind of bashes both sides, though libs more.

    sometimes we get so serious on this b/oard, i thought it might be worth jus trelaxing a bit!

  4. #4
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    You actually believe that's 'funny' or 'witty' whatsoever?

  5. #5
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    I thought it was mildly amusing. Had a chuckle here and there...maybe a snicker or a smirk at times.

    "Some of these liberal men eventually evolved
    into women. " lol

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