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Thread: Very OT: So, I think I found faith.

  1. #1

    Very OT: So, I think I found faith.

    So...I've spent the last year and a half or so of my life questioning my faith. Heavily.

    What was the point of "God?"

    Everytime I've heard the word religion I would laugh and call it dead and completely BS anyawy. Religion, in my eyes, was just everywhere it shouldn't be. It backed war. It backed murder. It backed hate and anger. It backed division amongst people.

    I went all out with it too. I even bought "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, the worlds #1 atheist, and loved that it systematically took apart the existence of a God. I enjoyed being so "enlightened" on the issue, and didn't mind being an annoying prick and shoving my opinion down peoples throats.

    But meanwhile, sh*t was falling apart. I f*cked up BAD leaving HS. I was a dipsh*t who ignored things like work and grades because sh*t they're just numbers they don't reflect me. They don't tell you who I really am...come and talk to me I thought. I didn't even use the largest asset I had, my left arm, to it's full potential. I could have went to a 4 year school on my arm alone if I talked to the right people...but I never did. Oh, I had coaches talking to my coach and I, but I never took a hands on approach.

    So now I was at (and still am at) a JC. I played baseball for one whole pitch at practice. I attended classes irregularly. I dropped out of 2 classes. Yea, I got good grades when I did attent class, but no one pushed too hard leaving me thinking no one actually gave a sh*t. And hey, if you did care...I had a bunch of well intentioned all-is-well lies to tell. I was doing fine I said.

    But of course I wasn't. No, I wasn't a complete loser. Girls seemed *more* attracted to me, I drank and smoked my ass off, and generally had alot of fun.

    But dude, WTF? I was a godless idiot in a world full of them. It works in comedies where you see only a small, cliched part of a person, but it doens't work in real life. I was losing alot of my humanity and not even noticing it. It wasn't playing out on a screen for me to see, it was happening TO me. But I knew it wasn't me.

    So what had my lack of faith got me? The insecurity of a person who now considered himself an ant in the universe? The passion of a Cinemax porn? F*cking yay. My life could only be considered an empty shell.

    But over the past couple of months its slowly dawned on me. Richard Dawkins isn't attacking religion at it's core. [I]I[/I] wasn't attacking religion at it's core. I was attacking the human institution of religion. I was attacking how people twisted and destroyed what at it's core was perfect.

    Religion is bigger than the institutions that profit from it. It is respecting and loving your chance on earth, and trying to make that time on earth good for everyone around you. I've noticed that that seems further gone from the world than at any point in history. Science and technology may prove the lack of existence of a physical God, but it has also turned many towards the idea that we are nothings who lucked into existence. That is the furthest thing from the truth. We all have a purpose in some way or another.

    Now that I have it *somewhat* figured out...I better put it into action. I've started reaching out to people who hinted that they give a **** where I'm going. My ex-girlfriend (I'm iffy on it too). My best friend. A professor that told me to email him updates of how I'm progressing. A friend of my cousins I met at his wedding who offered me his email and business card after I told him I was studying sports management. And maybe the biggest one of all, I want to talk to a priest.

    [I]I[/I] control what I do. Why should I blame my parents for not pushing me when I never pushed me? How am I going to have any impact if I don't do anything but ***** about how I don't have the OPPORTUNITY to make an impact? Why should I stop believing in a higher power simply because I thought it was failing me? "God helps those who help themselves" remember? [I]I[/I] was failing me.

    BTW: It's amazing what happens when something like this hits you. At one point a sports agent or GM was all I wanted to be. Now, I consider being a teacher or even a priest as careers that would fulfill me way more.
    Last edited by SenorGato; 11-02-2007 at 01:52 PM.

  2. #2
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    Youre about 2 steps away from becoming a born again christian

  3. #3
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    Being extreme either way is never good IMO. Athiest....nah, look around...you think all this just happened out of nowhere? Priest....admirable but in my case, never realistic. A good, God-fearing person who enjoys life and treats others well.....perfect! :yes:

  4. #4
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    It sounds like you're on the road to finding yourself. Keep exploring, you'll find what makes you happy.

  5. #5
    [QUOTE=thebigragu;2190774]Youre about 2 steps away from becoming a born again christian[/QUOTE]

    Actually, I'd say I'm closer to a capitalist mindset.
    Last edited by SenorGato; 11-02-2007 at 02:03 PM.

  6. #6
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    I found Faith along time ago, she is noted for her huge beliefs.

    [IMG]http://galleries.sterlingcash.com/ibwf/pigtails/full/faith_pigtails10.JPG[/IMG]

  7. #7
    It's all a process Gato...you never arrive at a place...you will always be changing.

    My 2 cents...you don't need religion to live a good purposeful life...but whatever you need, go for it.

    And not to seem like a prick but...this sounds an awful lot like simple old "growing up." You learn from your mistakes and move on.

  8. #8
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    3...2....1 until Sackdance spews his garbage.

  9. #9
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    Interesting read, SG.

    You may want to read Ralph Waldo Emerson, one of the truly great American minds. Henry David Thoreau as well. They reached the same point you have and took it many steps further.

    They are called the "Transcendentalists" because they sought understanding [B]beyond[/B] what the Church was saying about human existence.

    Here's a link to a school of Buddhist practice: [URL="http://www.sgi-usa.org"]http://www.sgi-usa.org[/URL] Buddhists like me don't pray to a god, but look to uncover and utilize the great latent power that exists within each one of us. Definitely in line with Thoreau and Emerson.

    Good luck, Senor.

  10. #10
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    You guys do realize that this is Gato and he is never serious about anything.

  11. #11
    Bewildered Beast
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    [QUOTE=New York Mick;2190796]I found Faith along time ago, she is noted for her huge beliefs.

    [/QUOTE]

    :D

    Pass the tray.

  12. #12
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    [QUOTE=New York Mick;2190796]I found Faith along time ago, she is noted for her huge beliefs.

    [IMG]http://galleries.sterlingcash.com/ibwf/pigtails/full/faith_pigtails10.JPG[/IMG][/QUOTE]

    Allright where did you find that picture i need it for personal reasons

  13. #13
    [QUOTE=FoxboroFanatic2;2190797]
    And not to seem like a prick but...this sounds an awful lot like simple old "growing up." You learn from your mistakes and move on.[/QUOTE]
    Growing up sucks. I was at my happiest when I did drugs and didn't give a damn.

    Don't do it Gato.

  14. #14
    [QUOTE=FoxboroFanatic2;2190797]It's all a process Gato...you never arrive at a place...you will always be changing.

    My 2 cents...you don't need religion to live a good purposeful life...but whatever you need, go for it.

    And not to seem like a prick but...this sounds an awful lot like simple old "growing up." You learn from your mistakes and move on.[/QUOTE]

    I wanted to touch on it in the post.

    I have never declared myself as a religious person to anyone...my progress is my doing.

    But I do believe that science has stolen alot of the humanity in the world. And this is what restored my faith. Religion isn't about God or heavy/hell...it's about how you look at your fellow man and etc.

    Nowadays it seems like no one stops long enough to care or think about it until after something bad happens. And the worst part is, they don't react kindly anymore. Everything is worth a fight or a beating or a shooting.

    Honestly, I think most people forgot what true religion is.

    Religion isn't some deep sh*t, it's maturity and accepting the fact that you are technically just a speck in the universe. But you can be a pretty damn significant speck on earth if you want. It's why I consider it more a philosophy on life...a way of looking at things...
    Last edited by SenorGato; 11-02-2007 at 02:15 PM.

  15. #15
    [QUOTE=RutgersJetFan;2190826]Growing up sucks. I was at my happiest when I did drugs and didn't give a damn.

    Don't do it Gato.[/QUOTE]

    then you get a mortgage...stuff like that.... It all seems like the right thing to do at the time. Then....eh.

  16. #16
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    [QUOTE=thebigragu;2190824]Allright where did you find that picture i need it for personal reasons[/QUOTE]

    She's a Brit model that has a website called In Bed With Faith, do a google and you can see the rest of her for free and it's quite nice.

  17. #17
    [QUOTE=RutgersJetFan;2190826]Growing up sucks. I was at my happiest when I did drugs and didn't give a damn.

    Don't do it Gato.[/QUOTE]

    getting older sucks. i still do drugs but i have to give a dam and worry

  18. #18
    [QUOTE=FoxboroFanatic2;2190832]then you get a mortgage...stuff like that.... It all seems like the right thing to do at the time. Then....eh.[/QUOTE]

    Exactly.

    Who do you think is the happier guy? The man with the mortgage and the nagging wife? Or the guy with the constant acid flashbacks and freedom to start drinking at 9 in the morning?

    I know this because I've seen The Big Lebowski, and the Dude looked happy as hell to me for those two hours. Proof in the pudding, right there.

  19. #19
    [QUOTE=RutgersJetFan;2190826]Growing up sucks. I was at my happiest when I did drugs and didn't give a damn.

    Don't do it Gato.[/QUOTE]

    Yea...it's kind of my issue with growing up.

    Why shouldn't I get to do my drugs if I'm generally a good person though?

  20. #20
    [QUOTE=SenorGato;2190763]So...I've spent the last year and a half or so of my life questioning my faith. Heavily.

    What was the point of "God?"

    Everytime I've heard the word religion I would laugh and call it dead and completely BS anyawy. Religion, in my eyes, was just everywhere it shouldn't be. It backed war. It backed murder. It backed hate and anger. It backed division amongst people.

    I went all out with it too. I even bought "The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins, the worlds #1 atheist, and loved that it systematically took apart the existence of a God. I enjoyed being so "enlightened" on the issue, and didn't mind being an annoying prick and shoving my opinion down peoples throats.

    But meanwhile, sh*t was falling apart. I f*cked up BAD leaving HS. I was a dipsh*t who ignored things like work and grades because sh*t they're just numbers they don't reflect me. They don't tell you who I really am...come and talk to me I thought. I didn't even use the largest asset I had, my left arm, to it's full potential. I could have went to a 4 year school on my arm alone if I talked to the right people...but I never did. Oh, I had coaches talking to my coach and I, but I never took a hands on approach.

    So now I was at (and still am at) a JC. I played baseball for one whole pitch at practice. I attended classes irregularly. I dropped out of 2 classes. Yea, I got good grades when I did attent class, but no one pushed too hard leaving me thinking no one actually gave a sh*t. And hey, if you did care...I had a bunch of well intentioned all-is-well lies to tell. I was doing fine I said.

    But of course I wasn't. No, I wasn't a complete loser. Girls seemed *more* attracted to me, I drank and smoked my ass off, and generally had alot of fun.

    But dude, WTF? I was a godless idiot in a world full of them. It works in comedies where you see only a small, cliched part of a person, but it doens't work in real life. I was losing alot of my humanity and not even noticing it. It wasn't playing out on a screen for me to see, it was happening TO me. But I knew it wasn't me.

    So what had my lack of faith got me? The insecurity of a person who now considered himself an ant in the universe? The passion of a Cinemax porn? F*cking yay. My life could only be considered an empty shell.

    But over the past couple of months its slowly dawned on me. Richard Dawkins isn't attacking religion at it's core. [I]I[/I] wasn't attacking religion at it's core. I was attacking the human institution of religion. I was attacking how people twisted and destroyed what at it's core was perfect.

    Religion is bigger than the institutions that profit from it. It is respecting and loving your chance on earth, and trying to make that time on earth good for everyone around you. I've noticed that that seems further gone from the world than at any point in history. Science and technology may prove the lack of existence of a physical God, but it has also turned many towards the idea that we are nothings who lucked into existence. That is the furthest thing from the truth. We all have a purpose in some way or another.

    Now that I have it *somewhat* figured out...I better put it into action. I've started reaching out to people who hinted that they give a **** where I'm going. My ex-girlfriend (I'm iffy on it too). My best friend. A professor that told me to email him updates of how I'm progressing. A friend of my cousins I met at his wedding who offered me his email and business card after I told him I was studying sports management. And maybe the biggest one of all, I want to talk to a priest.

    [I]I[/I] control what I do. Why should I blame my parents for not pushing me when I never pushed me? How am I going to have any impact if I don't do anything but ***** about how I don't have the OPPORTUNITY to make an impact? Why should I stop believing in a higher power simply because I thought it was failing me? "God helps those who help themselves" remember? [I]I[/I] was failing me.

    BTW: It's amazing what happens when something like this hits you. At one point a sports agent or GM was all I wanted to be. Now, I consider being a teacher or even a priest as careers that would fulfill me way more.[/QUOTE]

    And you don't believe in the term clutch? Hypocrisy

    :rolleyes:

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