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Thread: The gospel of B.O.

  1. #1

    The gospel of B.O.

    This is actually pretty funny:

    1:1 As it is written in the AP Manual, "Behold, I send my press corps before thy face, who shall prepare thy way." And so it came to pass that pundits went forth into all that country, preaching a vote of repentance for the forgiveness of sins. And lo, these pundits spake by the Spirit of the Age, going into all their towns and cities and declaring:

    1:2 "He is not operating on the same plane as ordinary politicians. . . . [He is] the agent of transformation in an age of revolution, as a figure uniquely qualified to open the door to the 21st century." -- Gary Hart

    1:3 "Barack Obama is our collective representation of our purest hopes, our highest visions and our deepest knowings . . . . He's our product out of the all-knowing quantum field of intelligence." -- Eve Konstantine

    1:4 "This is bigger than Kennedy. . . . This is the New Testament." "I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don't have that too often. No, seriously. It's a dramatic event." -- Chris Matthews

    1:5 "[Obama is] creative imagination which coupled with brilliance equals wisdom . . . . [He is] the man for this time." -- Toni Morrison

    1:6 "Obama's finest speeches do not excite. They do not inform. They don't even really inspire. They elevate. . . . He is not the Word made flesh, but the triumph of word over flesh . . . . Obama is, at his best, able to call us back to our highest selves." -- Ezra Klein

    1:7 "Obama has the capacity to summon heroic forces from the spiritual depths of ordinary citizens and to unleash therefrom a symphonic chorus of unique creative acts whose common purpose is to tame the soul and alleviate the great challenges facing mankind." -- Gerald Campbell

    1:8 "We're here to evolve to a higher plane . . . . He is an evolved leader . . . . . [He] has an ear for eloquence and a Tongue dipped in the Unvarnished Truth." -- Oprah Winfrey

    1:9 "I would characterize the Senate race as being a race where Obama was, let's say, blessed and highly favored. That's not routine. There's something else going on. I think that Obama, his election to the Senate, was divinely ordered. . . . I know that that was God's plan." -- Bill Rush

    1:10 Therefore did the multitudes go out to Obama in the wilderness of Iowa, Alaska, Nebraska, North Dakota, South Carolina, and Utah. And seeing the crowds, he went up on the mountain, and when he sat down his disciples came to him. And he opened his mouth and taught them, saying:

    1:11 Blessed are those who Believe, for they shall say, "Yes We Can!"

    1:12 Blessed are those who say, "Yes We Can!" for they shall audaciously Hope.

    1:13 Blessed are those who Hope, for they shall speak of Change.

    1:14 Blessed are those who speak of Change, for they shall Get Fired Up.

    1:15 Blessed are those who Get Fired Up, for they shall be baptized with the Spirit of the Age.

    1:16 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst during long rallies, for they shall drink the waters of Evian and I shall not lose my photo op.

    1:17 Blessed are we. For we are the ones we have been waiting for. We are the Change that we seek.

    1:18 Blessed are you, when men shall question you, and ask specifics, and seek all manner of policy detail for clarity's sake. Rejoice, and be exceedingly glad: for so persecuted they the vague-minded which were before you. They shall drag you before TV cameras and microphones, and ask all manner of questions about specifics and you shall give testimony to me before the kings of the earth. But he that remains vague until the end shall receive a great reward in the Administration that is come.

    1:19 And behold, great multitudes from Idaho, Alabama, Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Illinois, Kansas, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Missouri, Virginia, and Washington followed him. And more than ever believers were added to Obama, multitudes both of men and women, so that when he came by they might at least touch the hem of his garment.

    1:20 And the All Knowing Quantum Field of Intelligence did extraordinary miracles by the hands of Obama, so that handkerchiefs were carried away from his body to the worshippers, and spirits of cynicism came out of them and they were found dressed and in their left minds.

    1:21 Many who heard him were astonished, saying, "Where did this man get all this? What is this wisdom given to him?"

    1:22 And they were amazed at him. For he went throughout the land, preaching new wine for new wineskins, and the multitudes came to him in prayer and supplication.

    1:23 Therefore did his disciples proclaim: "If any one thirst, let him come to Obama and drink. He who believes in Obama, as the scripture has said, 'Out of his heart shall flow rivers of living water.'" He is the Chosen One consubstantial with the Father and the Paraclete.

    1:24 For Obama is our peace, who has made the two Americas one, and has broken down the dividing wall of hostility. Now, speaking in vague generalities, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Obama, from whom the one big organism, joined and knit together by every joint with which it is supplied, when each part is working properly, makes bodily growth and upbuilds itself in love of him.

    1:25 And behold, there appeared a great wonder in the heavens, a woman clothed in stylish raiment, with Jimmy Choo heels under her feet and necklace of twelve beads around her neck, interceding for the faithful.

    1:26 And there appeared another wonder in heaven: Behold! A great dragon in a pantsuit. And her tail drew the third part of the superdelegates, and did cast them into four-star restaurants to schmooze them.

    1:27 And there was war in heaven: Blessed Michelle fought against the dragon; that old serpent, called Rodham, and Clinton, which deceiveth the whole electorate.

    1:28 There were signs in the Sun and moon, and Blessed Michelle appeared unto millions on televisions, iPods, and streaming computers warning that the consummation of all things was at hand and saying, "He that is whole needeth not the physician, but he that is sick. Thy broken hearts are restless till they rest in Obama."

    1:29 And behold the Good News spread and multiplied, so that the monks of Clooney came to him and declared, "Master! I will follow you wherever you go!" and a sister of the Halle Name went before him, making straight his path, lest at any time Obama dash his foot against a paper cup.

    1:30 And on the third day, he rose in the polls.

    1:31 And the dragon was exceeding wroth, and went to make war with the remnant of uncommitted delegates. But though she struck at his heel, he crushed her head.

    1:32 For lo, all that was written by the pundits must be fulfilled, for it was necessary that Obama go from race to race and glory to glory, for he is with us always! He is the Alpha and the Omega of American History, who was and who is and who is to come. For the Metaphysical Force is with him.

    1:33 Amen! Marana tha! Come, Lord Obama! The Spirit of the Age and the Brights say, "Come! Even so, come, Lord Obama! And we shall have no God but Caesar!"


    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Mark P. Shea is a senior editor at [url]www.CatholicExchange.com[/url] and a columnist for InsideCatholic.com. Visit his blog at [url]www.markshea.blogspot.com[/url].


    [url]http://insidecatholic.com/Joomla/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2862&Itemid=48[/url]

  2. #2
    look, B.O. is better than Obooma, i'll give you that.

    but its only a matter of time until the lefties turn the phrase. He'll become Bo, and the French will call him Beau.

  3. #3
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  4. #4
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    For a short moment I thought the B.O. stood for Body Odor.....

  5. #5
    Now the Obooma cultists will have their turbans in a wad, accusing you of suggesting Hussein is smelly because he has Islamic ties.....

  6. #6
    [QUOTE=DeanPatsFan;2394045]Now the Obooma cultists will have their turbans in a wad, accusing you of suggesting Hussein is smelly because he has Islamic ties.....[/QUOTE]

    are there any age limits to posting on this site? Are you nine years old?

  7. #7
    [QUOTE=intelligentjetsfan;2394054]are there any age limits to posting on this site? Are you nine years old?[/QUOTE]

    I'm not the one having temper tantrums Skippy.....

  8. #8
    [QUOTE=DeanPatsFan;2394061]I'm not the one having temper tantrums Skippy.....[/QUOTE]

    I know, I can see your maturity with intelligent posts such as; "Now the [B]Obooma cultists [/B][B]will have their turbans in a wad, accusing you of suggesting Hussein is smelly because he has Islamic ties....." [/B]

    Time for more stories of Loch Ness and Big Foot...........

  9. #9
    [QUOTE=intelligentjetsfan;2394073]

    Time for more stories of Loch Ness and Big Foot...........[/QUOTE]

    They're dead.

    Al (Pope) Gore says global warming killed them....

  10. #10
    holy schnikes, has Obama even come out and said anything THAT different from Billary? Nope.
    Can you say "CULT OF PERSONALITY?"

  11. #11
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    [QUOTE=intelligentjetsfan;2394073]I know, I can see your maturity with intelligent posts such as; "Now the [B]Obooma cultists [/B][B]will have their turbans in a wad, accusing you of suggesting Hussein is smelly because he has Islamic ties....." [/B]

    Time for more stories of Loch Ness and Big Foot...........[/QUOTE]

    What do you expect from the same guy who is happy that liberals died on 9/11?

  12. #12
    [QUOTE=PlumberKhan;2394102]What do you expect from the same guy who is happy that liberals died on 9/11?[/QUOTE]

    Plunger God, please post a link on here where I said that.

  13. #13
    Holy Obama who art in Washington Holy be they name!

  14. #14
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    [QUOTE=DeanPatsFan;2394105]Plunger God, please post a link on here where I said that.[/QUOTE]


    Dude...I don't have time to sift through your myriad of anti-American posts...but you have made it very clear in the past that you would like it if all the liberals in this country were dead. You hate liberals more than you hate terrorists.

    I just figured since most of the people in NYC are very liberal, you know.... I mean...shoot. The rise of Islamic terror was all their faults anyway, right...for voting in a commie pinko libtard like Clintoon who decimated our national defense? I suppose, in your eyes, they got what they deserved.

    Or do you not wish death on your fellow countrymen? You can say it right now. Say that you don't wish liberals would die.

  15. #15
    [QUOTE=MnJetFan;2394166]Holy Obama who art in Washington Holy be they name![/QUOTE]

    At least one guy gets it.

  16. #16
    Lance Fairchok's article in the American Thinker:

    "If there is an Arab-American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney, it threatens my civil liberties. It is that fundamental belief, I am my brother's keeper, I am my sister's keeper, it is that fundamental belief that makes this country work."
    - Senator Barack Obama


    In a televised twelve-second campaign spot aired in Texas, Senator Obama gives a stirring speech to a standing ovation. It is the predictable litany of American faults he will miraculously correct: literacy, expensive prescription drugs and insufficient civil liberties. However, he seems particularly concerned for Arab-Americans. "If there is an Arab American family being rounded up without benefit of an attorney, it threatens my civil liberties."

    This was an astonishing statement, an infuriating statement and a statement that speaks volumes to Obama's ideology.


    Arab-American families being rounded up would not only threaten all our civil liberties, it would raise such a universal outcry, it could not long endure. Even the suggestion it could occur is a profound insult to our nation and our citizenry. It is an image of the gulag, the death camp, the dictatorship, and so inappropriate in any discussion about America, it is beneath our contempt.

    Perhaps the Senator is carried away by his remarkable political ascendancy and so emboldened by the lack of critical comment in the press, he believes he can say anything. Perhaps he believes he has so mesmerized us with his oratory that we will not catch the inference of his words. Perhaps he really believes that we are that kind of country, that our people do not cherish civil liberty sufficiently to defend it for all citizens.


    This despicable image of innocent families imprisoned and the ethnic cleansing it suggests is a theme the radical left nurtures. It is by design intended to portray an unjust and intolerant people, it was no error, no misstatement. It elicits moral outrage with false assumptions, endlessly repeating those assumptions until believed. It is behind the exaggeration of everything the U.S. does in the war on terror or against Islamic extremism. It is behind the hysteria over the Patriot Act.

    As divorced from truth as it is, it is found everywhere in the propaganda of the left, from the Bush-Hitler signs, to the fabrications of American military wrongdoing in the press, to the invented Islamophobia in our populace. It is the motivation behind Michael Moore, Code Pink, MoveOn.Org and George Soros. It is unfortunately the message the media aids and abets.


    This moral contrariness gives us American "progressives" embracing dictators and terrorists such as Hugo Chavez, Fidel Castro, Iran's Ahmedinejhad and Syria's Bashar al Assad. It finds equivalence between defending America and Al Qaeda and Hezbollah terrorism. It believes malevolent evil can actually be stopped with dialogue and compromise. It gravitates to a miserable "better red than dead" nihilism that allows no pride or faith in America. It excuses our enemies and indicts everything American. It is the impenitent legacy of the Carter and Clinton administrations. It is illogical and irrational and a road to failure and catastrophe.


    "I am my brother's keeper, I am my sister's keeper, it is that fundamental belief that makes this country work." Yet, he also says that our country does not work, that we need change. Even as he wraps this contradiction in biblical allusion and positive words like "Hope" and "Change We Can Believe In" his underlying belief system surfaces in clues overlooked by his handlers.

    The bleak fantasy of Arab-American families interned for being Arabs and, of course, for being Muslim is very plausible to the radicals that help write his speeches. Senator Obama holds a wretched America in his heart, a country he has no pride in nor wishes to preserve. If his vision starts from failure, where will it end? There is no truth in his words, just as there is no substance. One may speak well, but still speak lies. An Obama presidency would be a disaster.


    The function of wisdom is to discriminate between good and evil.
    - Cicero

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