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Thread: Your Pocket Guide to Speaking Palin-guage (Vol. 1)

  1. #1
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    Your Pocket Guide to Speaking Palin-guage (Vol. 1)

    From my sister, a big-time Obama speaker:


    Your Pocket Guide to Speaking Palin-guage (Vol. 1)
    Up in the Twin Cities area folks are speaking a new language. Or, should I say Palinguage. It sounds sorta familiar because it's Latin based. But different from the plain English we're used to speaking, in Palinguage recognizable words take on new meanings. Won't you take a moment to learn some Plainguage so you can talk like a hypocritical conservative?
    REPEAT THE FOLLOWING:
    If you're a minority and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "token hire." If you're a conservative and you're selected for a job over more qualified candidates you're a "game changer."
    If you live in an Urban area and you get a girl pregnant you're a "baby daddy." If you're the same in Alaska you're a "teen father." (Actually, according to your own MySpace page you're an F'n redneck that don't want any kids, but that's too long a phrase for the evil liberal media to take out of context and flog morning noon and night).
    Black teen pregnancies? A "crisis" in black America. White teen pregnancies? A "blessed event."
    If you grow up in Hawaii you're "exotic." Grow up in Alaska eating mooseburgers, you're the quintessential "American story."
    Similarly, if you name you kid Barack you're "unpatriotic." Name your kid Track, you're "colorful."
    If you're a Democrat and you make a VP pick without fully vetting the individual you're "reckless." A Republican who doesn't fully vet is a "maverick."
    If you say that for the "first time in my adult lifetime I'm really proud of my country" it makes you "unfit" to be First Lady. If you are a registered member of a fringe political group that advocates secession that makes you "First Dude."
    A DUI from twenty years ago is "old news." A speech given without proper citation from twenty years ago is "relevant information."
    And, finally, if you're a man and you decide to run for office despite your wife's recurrence of cancer you're a "questionable spouse." If you're a woman and you decide to run for office despite having five kids including a newborn with down-syndrome... Well, we don't know what that is 'cause THAT'S NOT A FAIR QUESTION TO ASK.

  2. #2
    Hypocrite, thy name is Party Politics.

  3. #3
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    [QUOTE=Warfish;2726607]Hypocrite, thy name is Party Politics.[/QUOTE]

    *Sigh* right you are sir!

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    Sis sent more:



    If you are a Democratic male candidate who is popular with millions of people you are an "arrogant celebrity".
    If you are a popular Republican female candidate you are "energizing the base".

    If you are a younger male candidate who thinks for himself and makes his own decisions you are "presumptuous".
    If you are an older male candidate who makes last minute decisions you refuse to explain, you are a "shoot from the hip" maverick.

    If you are a candidate with a Harvard law degree you are "an elitist-out of touch" with the real America.
    If you are a legacy (dad and granddad were admirals) graduate of Annapolis, with multiple disciplinary infractions you are a hero.

    If you manage a multi-million dollar nationwide campaign, you are an "empty suit".
    If you are a part time mayor of a town of 7000 people, you are an "experienced executive".

    If you go to a south side Chicago church, your beliefs are "extremist".
    If you believe in creationism and don't believe global warming is man made, you are "strongly principled".

    If you're a 13-year-old Chelsea Clinton, the right-wing press calls you "First dog."
    If you're a 17-year old pregnant unwed daughter of a Republican, the right-wing press calls you "beautiful" and "courageous."

    if you're Jamie Spears your parents are pinheads because you got pregnant (O'Reilly on Fox) but if you're Bristol your mom is eminently qualified to be VP ...

    If you supported a war that is costing $2.4 billion a day, you're a patriot who wants smaller government.
    If you oppose the war, you're a defeatist who wants big government.

    If you're a Republican and you don't wear a flag pin on the cover of People Magazine, it's okay because you're a "maverick."
    If you're a Democrat and you don't wear a flag pin, you're a secret Muslim terrorist.

  5. #5
    [QUOTE=Tanginius;2726669]*Sigh* right you are sir![/QUOTE]

    I know.

    Trouble is, I hope your list there is for-humour-value-only, because if it is serious, it's exactly the definition of bitter party-politics.

    Flip all of um, and the right would be just as "valid" in claiming them.

    Round and round we go......

  6. #6
    I like Obamaspeak. You just take on the dialects, accents, colloquialisms, etc. of whomever you are speaking to.

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE=SanAntonio_JetFan;2727555]I like Obamaspeak. You just take on the dialects, accents, colloquialisms, etc. of whomever you are speaking to.[/QUOTE]

    that's more Hillary, no?

  8. #8
    [QUOTE=Tanginius;2727558]that's more Hillary, no?[/QUOTE]


    "All we'z can say is Merci Beaucoup" -Harvard law graduate

  9. #9
    flushingjet
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    [URL]http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/24243923#24243923[/URL]

  10. #10
    [QUOTE=Jets Babe;2727586]heres the funny thing, conservatives (lets just say, whites in general) don't get picked over higher qualified prospective employees. affirmative action is BULL****. hey, this black guy isn't as qualified, but he's black. and we have to hire him because of that. it sucks.[/quote]

    Says the woman. Just sayin'.

    [quote]
    don't blacks refer it as a "baby daddy"? most (not all) "urban" (black or hispanic) teen fathers are dead beats. lets be honest.

    well of course its a blessed event. she's going to be a grandmother.
    by the way, black teen pregnancies ARE a crisis, they get pregnant the most, because they aren't smart and they don't use protection. it's a fact. black teens get pregnant more than white teens.
    [/quote]

    Yep. Keep teaching abstinence.

    [quote]last time i checked, track isn't a muslim terrorist name..[/quote]

    Last time I checked, a name is given, not chosen.

    [quote]i don't know what you mean by vetting, so i have no response.[/quote]

    Seriously?

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