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Thread: I hate chain emails, I really do... but this one is too tempting

  1. #1
    Waterboy
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    I hate chain emails, I really do... but this one is too tempting

    I hate it when people post stupid, poorly written chain emails to prove some grand point about something irrelevant, but this AIG bailout really has me scratching my head. Finance isn't my thing, and the whole situation has left me mystified. So I got this email this morning and got a laugh out of it, and in the back of my mind I thought, "So, wait, why couldn't this work?" Give me some feedback, be brutal. Without further adieu:

    [QUOTE]I'm against the $85,000,000,000.00 bailout of AIG.

    Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in
    a We Deserve It Dividend.

    To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000
    bonafide U.S. Citizens 18+.

    Our population is about 301,000,000 +/- counting every man, woman
    and child. So 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up..

    So divide 200 million adults 18+ into $85 billon that equals $425,000.00.

    My plan is to give $425,000 to every person 18+ as a
    We Deserve It Dividend.

    Of course, it would NOT be tax free.
    So let's assume a tax rate of 30%.

    Every individual 18+ has to pay $127,500.00 in taxes.
    That sends $25,500,000,000 right back to Uncle Sam.

    But it means that every adult 18+ has $297,500.00 in their pocket.
    A husband and wife has $595,000.00.

    What would you do with $297,500.00 to $595,000.00 in your family?
    Pay off your mortgage - housing crisis solved.
    Repay college loans - what a great boost to new grads
    Put away money for college - it'll be there
    Save in a bank - create money to loan to entrepreneurs.
    Buy a new car - create jobs
    Invest in the market - capital drives growth
    Pay for your parent's medical insurance - health care improves
    Enable Deadbeat Dads to come clean - or else

    Remember this is for every adult U S Citizen 18+ including the folks
    who lost their jobs at Lehman Brothers and every other company
    that is cutting back. And of course, for those serving in our Armed Forces. This also includes homeless people and people on welfare.
    Basically, if you are a US citizen, 18 years or older and have a heartbeat, you get the cash.
    If we're going to re-distribute wealth let's really do it...instead of trickling out
    a puny $1000.00 ( "vote buy" ) economic incentive that is being proposed by one of our candidates for President.

    If we're going to do an $85 billion bailout, let's bail out every adult U S Citizen 18+!

    As for AIG - liquidate it.
    Sell off its parts.
    Let American General go back to being American General.
    Sell off the real estate.
    Let the private sector bargain hunters cut it up and clean it up.

    Here's my rationale. We deserve it and AIG doesn't.

    Sure it's a crazy idea that can "never work."

    But can you imagine the Coast-To-Coast Block Party!

    How do you spell Economic Boom?

    I trust my fellow adult Americans to know how to use the $85 Billion
    We Deserve It Dividend more than I do the geniuses at AIG or in Washington DC.

    And remember, The Birk plan only really costs $59.5 Billion because $25.5 Billion is returned
    instantly in taxes to Uncle Sam.
    [/QUOTE]

    After this I promise I'll never post another chain email again.

  2. #2
    Veteran
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    It's a great plan!! Except the math is wrong. Each 18+ will recieve 425 dollars, not 425,000 dollars.

  3. #3
    Waterboy
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    [QUOTE=IM4DJTS;2772132]It's a great plan!! Except the math is wrong. Each 18+ will recieve 425 dollars, not 425,000 dollars.[/QUOTE]

    Bah! :O

    I should have checked it first. I violated the most common rule in reading this things -- ignoring all the calculations.

    Sorry.

    [IMG]http://www.thedeets.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/millionaire_idiot_fail.jpg[/IMG]

  4. #4
    Jets Insider VIP
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    AND, not to get too specific in discussing a chain letter, but it says to liquidate AIG. That, in part, is exactly what the $85B loan to AIG is supposed to do. The gov't. gave AIG the loan at a high interest rate (something like 11%) in order to give them time to sell some of their assets including key pieces of their business. AIG has an incentive to sell these assets, repay the expensive loan quickly and then emerge as a smaller, more focused company.

    AIG's success puts money back in the government's pocket.

  5. #5
    All Pro
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    [QUOTE=jetstream23;2772171]AND, not to get too specific in discussing a chain letter, but it says to liquidate AIG. That, in part, is exactly what the $85B loan to AIG is supposed to do. The gov't. gave AIG the loan at a high interest rate (something like 11%) in order to give them time to sell some of their assets including key pieces of their business. AIG has an incentive to sell these assets, repay the expensive loan quickly and then emerge as a smaller, more focused company.

    AIG's success puts money back in the government's pocket.[/QUOTE]

    Yup.

    This deal was structured smarty.

    The fact is most of AIG's business is still profitable. They just bought waaaaaaay too many mortgage-backed securities. The underlying assets have value, and should ultimately bring back at least equal value to the taxpayers while sparing the markets the horror of the largest reinsurer going away.

  6. #6
    Jets Insider VIP
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    [QUOTE=nuu faaola;2772206]Yup.

    This deal was structured smarty.

    The fact is most of AIG's business is still profitable. They just bought waaaaaaay too many mortgage-backed securities. The underlying assets have value, and should ultimately bring back at least equal value to the taxpayers while sparing the markets the horror of the largest reinsurer going away.[/QUOTE]

    Bingo!

    This could be a case of the gov't being lucky, rather than good, but they are starting to come into some assets at reasonable valuations which, [I]in a normal market[/I], would be valued more highly and be easier to sell.

  7. #7
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    Lol, Paulie have you sent your bank account information to the most honorable Mr. Nicholas Owumba, Interior Secretary of teh Nigeria so he can deposit a large sum of currency as safekeeping for the deposed King of Allwangi from which you may claim a large sum, $78,000,000, for your discretion?

    :D

  8. #8
    Bewildered Beast
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    [QUOTE=jetstream23;2772252]Bingo!

    This could be a case of the gov't being lucky, rather than good, but they are starting to come into some assets at reasonable valuations which, [I]in a normal market[/I], would be valued more highly and be easier to sell.[/QUOTE]

    An 85 BIllion servicing portfolio? All sub prime? How much of aggregate pools is behind 3+ months? How many are into a trustees sale? The government owns the right to collect the coupon(s) on the pools?

    Sorry for the questions, A-train. Thanks.

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