Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 79

Thread: Funny Football (Soccer) Related Stuff

  1. #1
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like

    Funny Football (Soccer) Related Stuff

    Glamour model Jessica Geneux says injured Boca Juniors star Martín Palermo's knee ligament damage is "probably my fault". "I like to play erotic games with Martín, and that's my right. People should understand there's no love-making timetable for a woman like me. I can do it in the morning, afternoon or evening, or all at once, non-stop during the same day. I'm like a dirty volcano."

    Last edited by Soberphobia; 01-14-2009 at 06:53 PM.

  2. #2
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Brazilian dancer Joana Machado says she's celebrating her "utter love" with Inter star Adriano by tattooing his name below her breasts. Machado says she wanted to be "branded". "Adriano owns me, owns my life: when he signs for Flamengo or Chelsea, I sign for them too." Adriano's agent Gilmar Rinaldi says Joana is "lacking comprehension". "Adriano is going nowhere: he stays at Inter. And he's dating someone else."

  3. #3
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    £65k : Amount raised by Man United's first-team squad at their annual United for Unicef gala dinner in November. Players including Cristiano Ronaldo were joined by stars from Hollyoaks; all the money went to Unicef's Children and Aids campaign.

    £200k: Value of the Ferrari Ronaldo wrote off on the A538 last week.

    11: Days of his basic salary it'll take to buy a new one.

  4. #4
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    12,733
    Post Thanks / Like
    I'm like a dirty volcano.
    Is it hot in here or what?

  5. #5
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Transfer window - highlights so far [note Defoe has moved back to Spurs in the January window]:

    1) Jermain Defoe, love machine:
    • Jan 2004: "I love the fans and everyone at West Ham. The club means so much to people." • Dec 2004: "The Spurs fans are great to me: I love the fans, love the staff and love the players." • Sep 2008: "I'm so glad I left Spurs for Portsmouth. I needed to find happiness." • Nov 2008: "Why would I think about leaving Portsmouth? Tony Adams is building something here. People are linking me with Spurs, but it's all just speculation. That's part and parcel of being a footballer."

    2) Best hands-off-warning:
    • 16 Nov, Tony Adams: "I'm sure there will be some big clubs trying to get Jermain in January, but hands off because he's mine. I've told the owner that everyone stays who I want to stay or I don't do the job. He phoned me on the way home and said, 'What do you want, Tony, how can I help you?' and I said, 'Keep Defoe where he is.' He says, 'Fine, anything else?' He's totally behind me."

    3) One to watch: Feb 2008, Stewart Downing says his new £35k-a-week five-year deal at Boro - signed after two years of talks - is "what I always wanted". "I'm so glad it's done. This is what I wanted all along. I know there was talk of other clubs, but I never wanted to go anywhere else. I know it has taken quite a long time and a lot's been said but I'm delighted: I've only ever wanted to play for my hometown club."

  6. #6
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Italy gay-tolerance latest: Marcello Lippi says there are "no gays in football". "In 40 years of my career I've never met one. It would be a complicated condition to deal with in the locker room." (Last month: unnamed Serie C player tells Italian TV how he's regularly paid for sex by Serie A players. "I get €1,500 each time. I've had at least a dozen from Serie A, sometimes several at once. They like me.")

  7. #7
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    Is it hot in here or what?


    Sampdoria striker Antonio Cassano says fiancé Carolina Marcialis, 17, is 'the one'. 'She's special,' says Cassano in his new book 'Dico Tutto' (I'll Tell Everything). 'I've only had four girlfriends in 11 years - that's very few. But then again, I've also done it with around 600 or 700 women, at least 20 of them from the world of showbiz. In Madrid it was easy because I lived in a hotel. The bell boy was my good friend: it was his job to bring me three pastries after sex. He would hand me the pastries, I would hand him the girl, and he would return her into the night. Sex plus pastries - could it be any better?'



    Marcialis: is she the one? Only if she can make decent pastry....
    Last edited by Soberphobia; 01-14-2009 at 07:06 PM.

  8. #8
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    12,733
    Post Thanks / Like
    That story makes me think of 2 other stories.

    Forgot the name of the Spanish GK before Casillas. Dude with bleached hair. A few days before the World Cup started, in 98 I believe, he broke his pinkie toe by dropping a huge bottle of cologne on it. He was mocked accordingly.

    Second story is personal. I’d had a bad neck for years, and finally did the final tweak during sex and ended up with a full blown herniated disk. Surgery was required.
    Last edited by RaoulDuke; 01-14-2009 at 09:17 AM.

  9. #9
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Top of the list of players to be approached for the new FA-backed anti-homophobia video: Rio Ferdinand and Wayne Rooney. "We expect the video to have a global impact in breaking down prejudice," says Peter Tatchell. Last time Rio tackled homophobia: Oct 2006 - apologises after calling DJ Chris Moyles a "faggot" live on air for asking if he "likes geezers". "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry - I'm not homophobic." Also that week: The Sun on Man United "dressing room pranksters" loving news that Scissor Sisters frontman Jake Shears rates Wayne Rooney: "Ringleader Rio Ferdinand was dishing out the most stick: players chipped in with limp-wristed hand gestures and camp accents. A source said, 'Rio and the boys were cracking up... they were all shouting 'chase me, chase me'."

  10. #10
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    That story makes me think of 2 other stories.

    Forgot the name of the Spanish GK before Casillas. Dude with bleached hair. A few days before the World Cup started, in 98 I believe, he broke his pinkie toe by dropping a huge bottle of cologne on it. He was mocked accordingly.

    Second story is personal. I’d had a bad neck for years, and finally did the final tweak during sex and get a full blown herniated disk. Surgery was required.
    Ha ha, probably shouldn't laugh, but at least you went out in style. Would have made for an interesting conversation with the doctor pre-op!

  11. #11
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    October: The FA endorse new Findus GO3 health-food range. "It's important for kids," says David Beckham. "GO3 is a great way to help families take some small steps at affordable prices." £12m: amount the FA make from their McDonald's deal.

    £2m: Becks' annual income from Pepsi.

  12. #12
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    December: Daily Star's war on racism, slamming "sick" anti-Muslim chants by Newcastle fans aimed at Mido. "The culprits taunted the Egyptian with sickening terrorism-related chants. Mido called it 'shameful, disgusting and racist'." Also in the Star - texts sent in by readers, including: · "every day goin by, this feels less like OUR country. its the united muslim state." · "I will never spend money at a Muslim business." · "vote BNP to put brits 1st" · "If america wanted somebody black & powerful ruling the world, y didn't they just elect DARTH VADER?" · "How thick are these muslims?" · Plus: "I once made a joke about islam. now im on the sects offenders register."

  13. #13
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Still undefeated: Rio - the ongoing story of one man's struggle to understand his own PR. · August: fronts the relaunch of the major anti-gang culture initiative he first backed in 2006 ("I want kids to see it's not just drug dealers who drive decent cars - trying to be a gangster isn't cool"). · November: Signs up as executive producer of new Brit gangland drugs movie Dead Man Running, starring 50 Cent (previous fillm credits: Righteous Kill, Streets of Blood). Also on Rio's PR project list last year: months after launching a new football academy in Uganda, aimed at educating and training street children living in poverty in capital city Kampala (Rio says meeting the kids was "overwheming and humbling"), signs up as the face of Kensington Luxury Heights - an exclusive luxury secure gated housing development overlooking Kampala - and buys one of the properties himself. "I'm delighted to have a home in Kensington Luxury Heights," says Rio in the sales brochure. "Come, be my neighbour in Uganda!"

  14. #14
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Running Rio close: Fergie - linked Real Madrid's record on tapping-up players to mass-murdering fascism. "What makes it so obscene is that Madrid, General Franco's club, had a history of being able to get whoever and whatever they wanted before democracy came to Spain." (Also upset about their players being tapped-up: · Bob Murray, Sunderland, 2003 : "United's behaviour over David Bellion is shabby, despicable, disrespectful and arrogant. They've broken every rule." · Mohamed Fayed, Fulham, 2004 : "I'm fed up with Sir Alex constantly unsettling my players." · Harry van Raaij , PSV, 2004: "Luring Robben like this is Ferguson's style. We've seen it before with Jaap and Ruud." · Daniel Levy, Spurs, 2008: "Ferguson's action over Berbatov is one of the worst offences by any manager ever. It's a blatant act of sheer arrogance...")

  15. #15
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Stephen Vaughan, chairman, Chester:

    • 2003: Appoints Mark Wright as manager - Wright available after being sacked by Oxford for alleged racist abuse of a referee.

    • 2004: Sacks Wright over claims he had an affair with a Chester player's wife.

    • 2006: Appoints him again after Wright sacked by new club Peterborough for 'gross misconduct', which Wright denies.

    • 2007: Sacks him after a run of three wins in his last 20 games.

    • Nov 2008: Sacks Wright's replacement, opening a vacancy. 'I can't seem to get it right as far as appointing managers is concerned. But I want this settled fast: interested candidates should apply as soon as possible.'

    • Three days later: appoints Mark Wright.

  16. #16
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Argentine glamour model Mariana Paesani - seen out with Carlos Tevez last month - says she snares players with her 'lusty technique'. 'When I want a player, I simply become a goddess. I cover myself with vanilla and chocolate essence so they want to eat me whole. I die for footballers. I die for them. I dream that they scratch me all over.'


  17. #17
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    Stromsgodset's David Nielsen says he tried to maim team-mate Allan Gaarde during training in 2005 because the Dane was 'pretentious'. Nielsen, who was sacked by the Norwegian Premier League club after the incident, said Gaarde - who had played briefly for Udinese - used to 'talk loudly about wine in Italian'.

    'I told him: "The next time you speak Italian I will break you in half. You're not ****ing Italian - you spent eight months there." So when he did it again I decided to break his ****ting legs like sticks. I jumped at him and bang. Jackpot. Felt good.' Norway's FA say they're 'investigating the comments'.

  18. #18
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    12,733
    Post Thanks / Like
    Quote Originally Posted by Black Death View Post
    Stephen Vaughan, chairman, Chester:

    • 2003: Appoints Mark Wright as manager - Wright available after being sacked by Oxford for alleged racist abuse of a referee.

    • 2004: Sacks Wright over claims he had an affair with a Chester player's wife.

    • 2006: Appoints him again after Wright sacked by new club Peterborough for 'gross misconduct', which Wright denies.

    • 2007: Sacks him after a run of three wins in his last 20 games.

    • Nov 2008: Sacks Wright's replacement, opening a vacancy. 'I can't seem to get it right as far as appointing managers is concerned. But I want this settled fast: interested candidates should apply as soon as possible.'

    • Three days later: appoints Mark Wright.
    LOL

  19. #19
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    LOVE THIS CLUB
    Mexican defender Raul Salinas - local cult-hero since calling Pumas fans 'pathetic scum' - says he's 'relaxed' after completing a suprise move to Pumas. Salinas, famous at rivals America for 'provocative press statements', says he's not worried despite Pumas fans pledging to 'do him'. 'Yesterday a group of them kicked me a bit, then said they'd kick my head open, then kill me, then put me in a coffin full of crap. But whatever. I'm relaxed. I've got the Pumas shirt on now - it suits me just fine.'

  20. #20
    All League
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    3,597
    Post Thanks / Like
    DIRTY RUMOURS
    Gary Neville says he 'can't understand' why Manchester United aren't seen as taking the FA Cup seriously. 'People who say that don't know the facts to back it up. I don't know where these rumours start.'
    2002, Roy Keane, United captain: 'The FA Cup has lost its relevance. The folklore attatched to the walk out of the tunnel, the red carpet, meeting the big shots - all of it was bollocks. It's nothing more than a consolation prize, an afterthought...

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us