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Thread: Ronaldo Bangs Paris Hilton

  1. #1
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    Ronaldo Bangs Paris Hilton

    Gossip Police have reported that a certain Cristiano Ronaldo partied with The Slut to celebrate his record deal. Then left with her.

    Does she ever wear panties?


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    F*cking unbelievable. You seriously could not make this type of sh*t up.

    Apparently there is a big history of Manure players hiring prostitutes at parties they run for themeselves. Recall a media report of one where Rio Ferdinand was commissioned to line up the hoes for a nights fun and Ronaldo was mentioned prominently in the report. Then of course you have the well-known story of Wayne Rooney getting caught with a prostitute who could have been his grandmother.

    It's another reason I truly despise Manure - a club that is just totally divorced from normal reality. I can't stand them and even though Ronaldo looks to be a Madrid player in all but name, I hope Paris gives him a bad dose of the clap that eats up half his schlong.

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    jesus christ

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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Death View Post
    It's another reason I truly despise Manure - a club that is just totally divorced from normal reality.

    How did Gerrards court case end (the one where he beat up a DJ who didn't want to play Phil Collins songs)?


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    I thought he was gay.

  6. #6
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    Who gave who syphilis? Or if they both had it, did the 2 strains combine to form 1 Super-Syphilis?

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    How did Gerrards court case end (the one where he beat up a DJ who didn't want to play Phil Collins songs)?

    France 1, Australia 0.

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    Quote Originally Posted by frostlich View Post
    Who gave who syphilis? Or if they both had it, did the 2 strains combine to form 1 Super-Syphilis?
    I believe the correct terminology is 'swine-syphilis'.

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    Get a load of this version of the story, its probably Hamper worthy-material, :

    RONALDO JOINS QUEUE FOR PARIS HILTON'S VAGINA

    CRISTIANO Ronaldo celebrated his record-breaking 80m move to Real Madrid last night by joining the early morning queue outside Paris Hilton's private parts.


    As dawn broke over Los Angeles, Ronaldo was spotted moving from the hosing area to the mounting zone

    The former Manchester United winger was seen flirting with the hotel heiress in an LA nightclub as the two laughed about what it's like to be an empty shell of a human being with no concept of the value of anything.

    Martin Bishop, a leading Hiltonologist, said: "It's a very special moment in a young man's life when he becomes famous enough to join the queue for Paris Hilton's vagina.

    "I'm pleased to see he got there at 3am - nice and early. At that time of day he would only have had to queue for about an hour and a half.

    "The waiting isn't too bad. They have snacks and magazines and there's usually a couple of buskers and a clown who does magic."

    Bishop said Ronaldo would have been in the queue behind three or four baseball players, half a dozen drummers, at least two European princes and, as it was a Thursday, Charlie Sheen.

    "He will eventually have moved from the garden into the lobby into the undressing area where he will have stripped to his socks before having his genitals hosed down with Mr Muscle.

    "After that it's straight into the mounting zone for eight to ten minutes of perfunctory intercourse, followed by a souvenir photo, a quick cup of tea and a biscuit."

    He added: "They can put the condom in a doggy bag for you, or you can choose to pin it on the 'Wall of Fame'. It's really well organised."


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    Someone complained about the above article? Or am I reading too much into the pinned post just put up on this forum?

    Apologies to the mods and the site owner if that is the case, and to the complainant. I have to constantly remind myself of the different rules at this site - at other sites involving other types of football the rules are different in that posting the above article would not even raise a murmur of dissent.

    I think that one of the things that is different about JI is that it is a site that has to attract and keep advertisers to keep going. Which means different rules in terms of what can and can't be posted. Also, obviously, there are different moral standards in the USA compared where I'm from.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Death View Post
    Someone complained about the above article? Or am I reading too much into the pinned post just put up on this forum?

    Apologies to the mods and the site owner if that is the case, and to the complainant. I have to constantly remind myself of the different rules at this site - at other sites involving other types of football the rules are different in that posting the above article would not even raise a murmur of dissent.

    I think that one of the things that is different about JI is that it is a site that has to attract and keep advertisers to keep going. Which means different rules in terms of what can and can't be posted. Also, obviously, there are different moral standards in the USA compared where I'm from.
    Absolutely unrelated.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodyPaige View Post
    Absolutely unrelated.
    Yeah, one of the mods sorted me on that.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WoodyPaige View Post
    I thought he was gay.
    He is teh ghey.

    But only in the sense that Tom Brady is ghey; they mate with females however they have an innate gheyness quality to them which makes them naturally ghey, or ghey by default.


    BD, great read man thanks.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Death View Post
    France 1, Australia 0.


    How did his case end, seriously?

    And more importantly, was the reason he beat up the DJ really because he didn't want to play any Phil Collins? If that was the reason, my respect for Gerrard would skyrocket. Anyone willing to fight for Phil Collins is hardcore in my book. It's like getting into a fight over Paula Abdul.

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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post


    How did his case end, seriously?

    And more importantly, was the reason he beat up the DJ really because he didn't want to play any Phil Collins? If that was the reason, my respect for Gerrard would skyrocket. Anyone willing to fight for Phil Collins is hardcore in my book. It's like getting into a fight over Paula Abdul.
    The serious charges were dropped and yes, it was true Gerrard pushed the DJ around for not playing any Fabulous Phil. (!!!)

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    Yeah, like you bozos would turn it away.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FF2 View Post
    Yeah, like you bozos would turn it away.
    I dont turn down nuthing free bro

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by Black Death View Post
    The serious charges were dropped and yes, it was true Gerrard pushed the DJ around for not playing any Fabulous Phil. (!!!)
    Simply awesome. On a side note, I'm sure the DJ received a visit from the guys extorting Steve and was threatened to be kneecapped (see Paulie's thread about Gerrards connections with the Liverpool Underworld)

    For you Steve !

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iek14oIsQCM

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