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Thread: Fricken Racoons

  1. #201
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    [QUOTE=Jets Things;3601682][IMG]http://www.3click.tv/mp4//Seinfeld/season8/metadata/304204.jpg[/IMG][/QUOTE]

    Classic..."Little Jerry Seinfeld":yes:

  2. #202
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    F*cking raccoons ate my parakeets last night. Sometimes, I would leave the birds outside in their cage...they liked to screech and yell at the other wild birds at 5am, so it helped me sleep in if the jerks were outside to do it.

    I wake up this AM and the cage is tipped over and open...and there's a pile of bloody yellow feathers and a pile of bloody blue feathers. I should have known better. Never had a raccoon problem until a week or so ago when the a**hats were in my garbage. Woke me up...they were devouring the leftover KFC. Of course, when I looked out the window and saw them...first thing I thought was "What Would 32 Do (WW32D)?" And then 2 nights ago...one of the buggers knocked down my hummingbird feeder and was drinking the necter. Must've been like Red Bull to them.

    But now they've eaten Larry and Nelson. Now they're going to die. I will avenge their deaths. And I don't live in a city or a suburb. I don't have to trap them all nice and stuff.

    F*ck that. I live in the country, motherf***ers. They're getting baited. Can of catfood in the backyard. And then I'm going to blow them to little tiny meat pieces with my Mossberg.

  3. #203
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    [QUOTE=PlumberKhan;4058737]F*cking raccoons ate my parakeets last night. Sometimes, I would leave the birds outside in their cage...they liked to screech and yell at the other wild birds at 5am, so it helped me sleep in if the jerks were outside to do it.

    I wake up this AM and the cage is tipped over and open...and there's a pile of bloody yellow feathers and a pile of bloody blue feathers. I should have known better. Never had a raccoon problem until a week or so ago when the a**hats were in my garbage. Woke me up...they were devouring the leftover KFC. Of course, when I looked out the window and saw them...first thing I thought was "What Would 32 Do (WW32D)?" And then 2 nights ago...one of the buggers knocked down my hummingbird feeder and was drinking the necter. Must've been like Red Bull to them.

    But now they've eaten Larry and Nelson. Now they're going to die. I will avenge their deaths. And I don't live in a city or a suburb. I don't have to trap them all nice and stuff.

    F*ck that. I live in the country, motherf***ers. They're getting baited. Can of catfood in the backyard. And then I'm going to blow them to little tiny meat pieces with my Mossberg.[/QUOTE]

    Now now....perhaps you can hire a firm to humanely trap them and relocate them to another area...after all, the animals were here first.










    :eek:


    Tole you.







    TOLD YOU MUTHA ****ERS!!!!!!! :alien: :alien:


    NOW ITS SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE FEATHERED BIRDS NOW ITS NOT SO FUNNY ANYMORE IMAGINE THE ANGUISHED, UNANSWERED CHIRPING AS PK DREAMT OF DRUMKITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WTF, RACOOONS.

    WTF

  4. #204
    [QUOTE=32green;4058745]Now now....perhaps you can hire a firm to humanely trap them and relocate them to another area...after all, the animals were here first.










    :eek:


    Tole you.







    TOLD YOU MUTHA ****ERS!!!!!!! :alien: :alien:


    NOW ITS SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE FEATHERED BIRDS NOW ITS NOT SO FUNNY ANYMORE IMAGINE THE ANGUISHED, UNANSWERED CHIRPING AS PK DREAMT OF DRUMKITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WTF, RACOOONS.

    WTF[/QUOTE]

    Yes, but he's worried about his pets.. not his fresh new sod.




































    :testicles:

  5. #205
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    [QUOTE=Polidore22;4058746]Yes, but he's worried about his pets.. not his fresh new sod.




































    :testicles:[/QUOTE]

    Sod...leads to baby birds Larry and Nielson. No one knows this better than me. Perhaps you need a embolism.

    -

  6. #206
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    [QUOTE=PlumberKhan;4058737]F*cking raccoons ate my parakeets last night. Sometimes, I would leave the birds outside in their cage...they liked to screech and yell at the other wild birds at 5am, so it helped me sleep in if the jerks were outside to do it.

    I wake up this AM and the cage is tipped over and open...and there's a pile of bloody yellow feathers and a pile of bloody blue feathers. I should have known better. Never had a raccoon problem until a week or so ago when the a**hats were in my garbage. Woke me up...they were devouring the leftover KFC. Of course, when I looked out the window and saw them...first thing I thought was "What Would 32 Do (WW32D)?" And then 2 nights ago...one of the buggers knocked down my hummingbird feeder and was drinking the necter. Must've been like Red Bull to them.

    But now they've eaten Larry and Nelson. Now they're going to die. I will avenge their deaths. And I don't live in a city or a suburb. I don't have to trap them all nice and stuff.

    F*ck that. I live in the country, motherf***ers. They're getting baited. Can of catfood in the backyard. And then I'm going to blow them to little tiny meat pieces with my Mossberg.[/QUOTE]

    could you do something more creative? maybe like that squirrel-launching colander from youtube? Then record it for posterity.

  7. #207
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    lolz

    RIP Larry and Nelson. Perfect names for birds, imo. :rolleyes:

    Eff Gary Moore.

  8. #208
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    [QUOTE=quantum;4058760]could you do something more creative? maybe like that squirrel-launching colander from youtube? Then record it for posterity.[/QUOTE]

    lmao....I'm pondering.

    Maybe an elaborate trap...and when the raccoon walks into it, he sees this:

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH8wDkqA_50[/url]

  9. #209
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    [QUOTE=PlumberKhan;4058766]lmao....I'm pondering.

    Maybe an elaborate trap...and when the raccoon walks into it, he sees this:

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SH8wDkqA_50[/url][/QUOTE]

    too cerebral.

    you need more.....Wil E. Coyote type thinking.

  10. #210
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    [QUOTE=32green;4058745]Now now....perhaps you can hire a firm to humanely trap them and relocate them to another area...after all, the animals were here first.










    :eek:


    Tole you.







    TOLD YOU MUTHA ****ERS!!!!!!! :alien: :alien:


    NOW ITS SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE FEATHERED BIRDS NOW ITS NOT SO FUNNY ANYMORE IMAGINE THE ANGUISHED, UNANSWERED CHIRPING AS PK DREAMT OF DRUMKITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    WTF, RACOOONS.

    WTF[/QUOTE]

    I would not be surprised if PK's racoons were the same ones that you bungled catching in your yard. Thanks to you, they have absolutely no fear of humans.

  11. #211
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    [QUOTE=32green;4058755]Sod...leads to baby birds Larry and Nielson. No one knows this better than me. Perhaps you need a embolism.

    -[/QUOTE]

    Is nielson a ghey?

  12. #212
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    Feed them Hogweed. One of 2 things will happen:

    1 - They die horrible deaths, hemoraging from every orifice
    2 - They become radioactive loons with eye beams.

    Def worth a shot. If 2 happens, try and tame it.
    Last edited by RaoulDuke; 07-08-2011 at 09:37 AM.

  13. #213
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    Oh, timmmy, that sucks.

    Raccoons are evil. I posted a pic of one eating our bird seed right out of feeder. Didn't think about our hummingbird feeder, though; will have to watch for that.

    We had parakeets when I was growing up. My mother would let them out of the cage to fly around the house. My chore was scraping the bird poop off of the mantle over the fireplace; they hung out there looking in the mirror. Bird BMs!

    One parakeet like to walk around on the floor. Yep, you can guess what happened. My older sister accidentally stepped on and killed it. We got another bird right away. So maybe you can buy a new Larry and Nelson while you plot your revenge on the raccoons.

  14. #214
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    [QUOTE=Lone Star Lady;4058793]Oh, timmmy, that sucks.

    [/QUOTE]

    you are getting the JI hicks mixed-up.

  15. #215
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    [QUOTE=Timmy®;4058797]you are getting the JI hicks mixed-up.[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, I'm an idiot! I read one of your posts and just used your name.

    Meant to say, plumber!

    :facepalm:

  16. #216
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    [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;4058785]Feed them Hogweed. One of 2 things will happen:

    1 - They die horrible deaths, hemoraging from every orifice
    2 - They become radioactive loons with eye beams.

    Def worth a shot. If 2 happens, try and youtube it.[/QUOTE]

    le fix!

  17. #217
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    Heard some disturbance in chimney last week, then nuttin.

    Called the chimney guy who found 2 dead flying squirrels.

  18. #218
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    Weird...I had a raccoon moment last night; too many beers put me in the can at 2AM where I heard horrible screeching and I thought they were eating my 3 feral cats (Will Feral, and the Feral-ly Brothers).

    And now this. :mad:

  19. #219
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    [QUOTE=WestCoastOffensive;4058849]Weird...I had a raccoon moment last night; too many beers put me in the can at 2AM where I heard horrible screeching and I thought they were eating my [B]3 feral cats (Will Feral, and the Feral-ly Brothers[/B]).

    And now this. :mad:[/QUOTE]

    Oh god, I can't believe I larfed at that. :D

  20. #220
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    [QUOTE=WestCoastOffensive;4058849]Weird...I had a raccoon moment last night; too many beers put me in the can at 2AM where I heard [b]horrible screeching[/b] and I thought they were eating my 3 feral cats (Will Feral, and the Feral-ly Brothers).

    And now this. :mad:[/QUOTE]

    Ms Coon was being had by Mr Coon, or worse still, two ghey coons were
    hitting on each other. They get noisy when CoonPoon is in play!

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