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Thread: Jokes

  1. #1
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    Jokes

    I've always been the type of person who enjoys a good laugh from time to time, over the years...I've enjoyed comedy, jokes and movies such as Borat; really anything to make me laugh (Other than myself)

    So I was wondering...What types of Jokes could posters on JI come up with in a thread like this?

    I'll start it off.

    [B]Q:[/B] Why do woman usually wear white when they get married?

    ---Why?---

    [B]A:[/B] So they can match the kitchen appliances :D

    Warning: If you tell that joke to a girl, who has zero personality, or is simply a serious person in life... You could actually see a bad reation. :steamin:

  2. #2
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    WOW, just WOW

  3. #3
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    In my town, the bride's all wear Stainless Steel.

    And I never knew why...until now.

  4. #4
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    Q: Why did DWC2 cross the road?

    A: THere was a pile of 20978 unused syllables on the other side.












    :D
    _

  5. #5
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    [QUOTE=Phoenixx;3373449]In my town, the bride's all wear Stainless Steel.

    And I never knew why...until now.[/QUOTE]

    lol, Dont you mean the Bride's all have Stainless Steel in the kitchen? :D

    Ask one of those girls in stainless steel this question:

    Q: Are your legs hurting right now?

    A: Because you were running wild through my dreams last night ;)

  6. #6
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    [QUOTE=32green;3373450]Q: Why did DWC2 cross the road?

    A: THere was a pile of 20978 unused syllables on the other side.












    :D
    _[/QUOTE]

    Nice one :(

    I thought the answer would have been... "There were more "stats" on the other side of the road"

  7. #7
    [QUOTE=DefenseWinsChampionships2;3373444]I've always been the type of person who enjoys a good laugh from time to time, over the years...I've enjoyed comedy, jokes and movies such as Borat; really anything to make me laugh (Other than myself)

    So I was wondering...What types of Jokes could posters on JI come up with in a thread like this?

    I'll start it off.

    [B]Q:[/B] Why do woman usually wear white when they get married?

    ---Why?---

    [B]A:[/B] So they can match the kitchen appliances :D

    Warning: If you tell that joke to a girl, who has zero personality, or is simply a serious person in life... You could actually see a bad reation. :steamin:[/QUOTE]

    Knock, knock.

  8. #8
    [QUOTE=FF2®;3373545]Knock, knock.[/QUOTE]

    Orange :yes:

  9. #9
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    A blonde gets stopped on 101. CHP says Lemmme ssee your license....
    .
    .
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    then the cop drops his trousers and she exclaims "Oh, no...not another breathalyzer test!"



    LOL

  10. #10
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    Why do dogs lick their balls?


















    Because they can.

  11. #11
    Teacher asks her class: "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you
    shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Brooklyn Tony.

    He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot.."

    The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

    Then Brooklyn Tony says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
    sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides
    of the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and
    sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which
    one is married?"

    The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I suppose the one
    that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

    To which Brooklyn Tony replied, "The correct answer is ' the one with the
    wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."

  12. #12
    Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic..

    "Why?" asks the father.

    The teacher asked ' How much is 2 x 3,' I said '6,'" replies Tony.

    "But that's right!" says his dad.

    "Yeah, but then she asked me ' How much is 3 x 2?'"

    "What's the f*ckin’ difference?" asks the father.

    "That's what I said!"

  13. #13
    A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"

    The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to **** your brains out, and suck your tits dry."

    Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"

    He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

    ---------------------

    One morning a woman was walking out of her front door, when she notices a strange little man at the bottom of her garden.

    "You're a goblin," she says, "I caught you and you owe me three wishes!". So the goblin replies "OK, you caught me fair and square, what's your first wish?". The woman stops and thinks for a second, "I want a huge mansion to live in.", goblins replies "OK, you've got it.". Woman again thinks it over, "My second wish is a Mercedes." "OK, you've got that too." "My last wish is a million dollars!". The goblin then says "OK, you've got it. But to make your wishes come true you have to have sex all night with me." "OK then, if that's what it takes..."

    Next morning the little man wakes the woman up.

    "Tell me," says the man, "how old are you?" "I'm 27", she replies

    "**** me", says the man, "27 and you still believe in goblins"

    --------------------

    One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

    The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

    --------------------

    What's the first thing a woman does when she gets back from the battered women's clinic?



    The damned dishes if she knows what's good for her.

    --------------------

    What have you done wrong when you wife comes out of the kitchen and starts nagging you?


    Made the chain too long.

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