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Thread: Anyone got any funny stories/jokes/complaints?

  1. #1

    Anyone got any funny stories/jokes/complaints?

    I'm looking for some good Hampur material. This is turning into a reeaaaallll ****ty day, one for the books. Let's get a classic Hampur thread going.

  2. #2
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    I was once interviewed by this Milf HR director. The whole time she sat in her chair, pushed back from the desk, with one leg under her and the slit in her skirt exposing her upper thigh. I still wonder if it was on purpose to see if I would be distracted? Or was she oblivious?

    In anycase, I obviously took a cerebral snapshot, and went on with the interview. I didn't get the job. :(

  3. #3
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    I just sharted in JR's interview thread. That should help.


    Btw, wtf...anyone have cardboard recycling by them?

    My fricken neighbors....

    Listen to me.

    Walking outside and dropping a pizza box and a shoe box on the grass in front of your house is not recycling, its LITTERING.

    It ends up on MY lawn afterr like one small breeze.

    Fold it up, tie it and put it in a blue bin, you jerkazzes.

    :mad:

  4. #4
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    [QUOTE=32green;3538432]I just sharted in JR's interview thread. That should help.


    Btw, wtf...anyone have cardboard recycling by them?

    My fricken neighbors....

    Listen to me.

    Walking outside and dropping a pizza box and a shoe box on the grass in front of your house is not recycling, its LITTERING.

    It ends up on MY lawn afterr like one small breeze.

    Fold it up, tie it and put it in a blue bin, you jerkazzes.

    :mad:[/QUOTE]

    load the pizza box up with bricks and place it on their lawn.

  5. #5
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    I had fruit for breakfast & haven't stopped crapping. That's what I get for trying to eat healthy.

    FU, health!

  6. #6
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    [QUOTE=32green;3538432]
    Walking outside and dropping a pizza box and a shoe box on the grass in front of your house is not recycling, its LITTERING.

    It ends up on MY lawn afterr like one small breeze.

    Fold it up, tie it and put it in a blue bin, you jerkazzes.

    :mad:[/QUOTE]

    Oooh burn! You just showed them ! ;)


    Are the racoons back?

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE=chesapeakejet;3538440]load the pizza box up with bricks and place it on their lawn.[/QUOTE]

    I didnt get my invisibility cloaking device in the mail yet to conceal my Identity during this brilliant maneuver. DUMBASS.






















    :D


    :alien::alien:


    :eek:




    → ;)←

  8. #8
    [img]http://www.rochardsbunnyranch.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/12/misty-anderson-nice-boobs.jpg[/img]

  9. #9
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    [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;3538446]Oooh burn! You just showed them ! ;)


    Are the racoons back?[/QUOTE]

    Deek and yes. You'd think that after catching three, the others would figure it out. I'm not looking foward to this.

  10. #10
    [QUOTE=32green;3538456]Deek and yes. You'd think that after catching three, the others would figure it out. I'm not looking foward to this.[/QUOTE]

    You need to physically assault one (or emotionally assault it with insults), but let it live.. then send it back into the wild screaming "TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!" Works every time.

  11. #11
    [img]http://www.hornysphinx.com/abp/media/12-26-07/2053-300-300.jpg[/img]

  12. #12
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    [QUOTE=32green;3538456]Deek and yes. You'd think that after catching three, the others would figure it out. I'm not looking foward to this.[/QUOTE]
    I thought of you during my vacation (no homo) in Canada. We were with this forest guide dude who was saying how intelligent those feckers were.



    Dique
    :beatnik:

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    I went home for lunch yesterday to see my new daughter (just over 5 weeks). Big mistake. I wound up cleaning two sh1ts that could have filled a gravy boat.

  14. #14
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    There is a small contingent of Asians that always eat lunch in the atrium which is near my desk.

    Everyday they are heating up weird looking & weird smelling food food (probably filet of sea urchin or sea cucumber sandwiches) in the microwave, and just generally being loud & annoying.

    I call them the 'Joy Ruck Crub'...

  15. #15
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    [QUOTE=Polidore22;3538464]You need to physically assault one (or emotionally assault it with insults), but let it live.. then send it back into the wild screaming "TELL YOUR FRIENDS!!!" Works every time.[/QUOTE]

    Funny you mention that....because one got out of the havaheart trap somehow and dragged it 25 feet. My neighbor the next day goes "did you hear that screaming last night?" and I'm like ":eek:"

    He goes "it sounded like two cats killing eachother and the sound of metal"

    I was like "nope. doesnt ring a bell"

    :eek:


    :dunno:

  16. #16
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    [QUOTE=chesapeakejet;3538440]load the pizza box up with bricks and place it on their lawn.[/QUOTE]

    32s block probably has various lawn ornaments....

    "Oh look hunny, they have a cute lawn gnomes."

    "And look at this house, with those deer out front. They must like animals"

    "Hey check out this house with the pizza box. Oh damn a racoon just crawled out of it!"

  17. #17
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    [QUOTE=NYJCAP2;3538475]32s block probably has various lawn ornaments....

    "Oh look hunny, they have a cute lawn gnomes."

    "And look at this house, with those deer out front. They must like animals"

    "Hey check out this house with the pizza box. Oh damn a racoon just crawled out of it!"[/QUOTE]

    Dont forget the ever popular 'Mary on a half-shell'

  18. #18
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    [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;3538468]I thought of you during my vacation (no homo) in Canada. We were with this forest guide dude who was saying how intelligent those feckers were.



    Dique
    :beatnik:[/QUOTE]

    Smart and destructive.:rolleyes:

    [QUOTE=Jets Things;3538470]I went home for lunch yesterday to see my new daughter (just over 5 weeks). Big mistake. I wound up cleaning two sh1ts that could have filled a gravy boat.[/QUOTE]

    Wait until she starts dropping giant hand grenades into the bowl and you have to plunge it once a week. Sweet daddy-hood.

    [QUOTE=Fishooked;3538471]There is a small contingent of Asians that always eat lunch in the atrium which is near my desk.

    Everyday they are heating up weird looking & weird smelling food food (probably filet of sea urchin or sea cucumber sandwiches) in the microwave, and just generally being loud & annoying.

    I call them the 'Joy Ruck Crub'...[/QUOTE]

    I saw them at the airport when I was going on vacay. They all sat next to me, started saying chinese things then pulled baked potatos out of their pockets and eating them like apples. I was like wtf

  19. #19
    My poop has worms in it.

    Should I see a Doctor?

    Or use them for fetilizer for my Summer Tomatoes?

  20. #20
    [QUOTE=32green;3538474]Funny you mention that....because one got out of the havaheart trap somehow and dragged it 25 feet. My neighbor the next day goes "did you hear that screaming last night?" and I'm like ":eek:"

    He goes "it sounded like two cats killing eachother and the sound of metal"

    I was like "nope. doesnt ring a bell"

    :eek:


    :dunno:[/QUOTE]

    LOL... accidental torture [SIZE="5"]≠[/SIZE] torture.

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