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Thread: Domestic violence: Duluth Program

  1. #1

    Domestic violence: Duluth Program

    This is a 26 week program intended to change behavior. The program utilizes two wheels: the wheel of power and control and the wheel of equality. Offenders normally realize their faults around 10 weeks into the program, but few will go on maintaining their status at the power and control wheel by continuing denying, blaming or minimizing their faults.

    Below is a comparison/contrast between both wheels...question, which wheel do you fit in?


    Using coercion and threats

    * using physical assaults against anyone - including any hit or slap
    * making and/or carrying out threats to do something to hurt others
    * threatening to leave others, to commit suicide, to report others to welfare or other external authorities
    * making others drop charges
    * making others do illegal things


    Negotiation and fairness

    * seeking mutually satisfying resolutions to conflict
    * accepting change
    * being willing to compromise

    Using intimidation

    * making others afraid by using looks, actions, gestures
    * smashing things
    * destroying others' property
    * abusing pets or other animals
    * displaying weapons (such as knives)

    Non-threatening behaviour

    * talking and acting so that both self and others feel safe and comfortable expressing themselves and doing things


    Using economic abuse

    * preventing others from getting or keeping a job
    * making others ask for money
    * giving others a restricted or conditional 'allowance'
    * taking others’ money (including using others as 'providers')
    * not letting family others know about or have access to family income

    Economic partnership

    * making money decisions together
    * making sure both others and self benefit from financial arrangements

    Using emotional abuse

    * putting others down
    * making others feel bad about themselves
    * calling others names
    * making others think they’re crazy
    * playing mind-games
    * humiliating others
    * attempting to control others' feelings
    * forcing others to control or deny what they feel
    * making others feel guilty

    Respect

    * listening to others non-judgmentally
    * being emotionally affirming and understanding, both of self and others
    * valuing opinions of both self and others

    Using sexuality

    * acting as the 'owner' of others' sexuality
    * ignoring or overriding others' sexual choices, feelings or fears
    * denying or mocking others' sexuality
    * promising or withholding sex to control or punish others
    * blaming others for sexual miscommunication
    * using pornography or sexual/romantic fiction to justify sexual abuse
    * assigning to others the sole responsibility for sexual safety and birth-control
    * misleading others about sexual safety and birth-control

    Sexual respect and trust

    * respecting each others' sexuality as real and natural
    * being open and honest with each other about sexual needs, desires, feelings and fears
    * being responsible with each other about safe sex and birth-control
    * negotiating mutually appropriate types and levels of sexual relationship

    Using gender privilege and social privilege

    * treating others like servants
    * excluding others from making decisions that concern them ('making all the big decisions')
    * acting like the ‘owner’ of others -- assuming ‘authority’ from social stereotypes
    * being the one to define male and female roles, or other social or familial roles

    Shared responsibility

    * mutually agreeing on a fair distribution of work
    * making family decisions and other social decisions together

    Using isolation

    * controlling what others do, who they see and talk to, what they read, where they go
    * limiting others’ outside involvement
    * using jealousy or envy to justify actions against others

    Trust and support

    * supporting both self and others’ goals in life
    * respecting self and others’ right to their own feelings, friends, activities and opinions

    Using children

    * making others feel guilty about their children
    * using the children to relay messages
    * using visitation to harass others
    * threatening to take the children away

    Responsible parenting

    * sharing parental responsibilities
    * being a positive non-violent role model for children

    Using others (third-party abuse)

    * spreading rumours about others
    * misinforming third-parties (family, friends, colleagues, police, court, state agencies) about others' life or actions
    * denigrating others' natural groups (sex, nationality, race, birth-religion, etc.)
    * using stories to justify actions against others

    Social self-responsibility

    * being aware and honest with each other
    * sharing social respect and social responsibility
    * creating trust with others and with the wider community
    * respecting each others' history, background and humanity

    Minimizing, denying and blaming

    * making light of the abuse and not taking others’ concerns about it seriously
    * saying the abuse didn’t happen
    * shifting responsibility for abusive behaviour
    * saying others caused it

    Honesty and accountability

    * accepting responsibility for self, and about others
    * acknowledging past use of violence and abuse
    * admitting being wrong
    * communicating openly and truthfully

  2. #2
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
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    wtf is this?...

    please, somewhere else

  3. #3
    Quote Originally Posted by jetswin View Post
    wtf is this?...

    please, somewhere else
    IMO good information. By the way, I have done my homework, this is great source of information to help someone realize who they are.
    Last edited by 82nd Airborne; 05-12-2010 at 07:33 AM.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetswin View Post
    wtf is this?...
    lmao

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetswin View Post
    wtf is this?...

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