When a woman gets a vibrator, it's viewed as a bit of naughty fun.
BUT when a guy orders a 240-Volt Sunbeam Fvck Master Pro 5000 blow-up latex doll with six-speed pulsating vagina, elasticized anus with non-drip semen collection tray, together with optional built-in realistic orgasm scream Dolby surround sound system, with huge breasts and pink nipples, he's called a pervert.
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Two sons on their father's 90th birthday bought him an hour with a top flight escort, and when she arrived she asked the usual questions after initial pleasantries. "So would you like to start with the super blowjob?"
"Well," replied the father, "I'm sort of hungry, so I'll take the soup."
The FBI is considering three men to be hired. They bring them in to
speak with the interviewer separately. The first man comes in
and sits down. The interviewer asks him:
"Do you love your wife?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"Do you love your country?"
"Yes I do, sir."
"What do you love more, your wife or your country?"
"My country, sir."
"Okay. We brought in your wife. Take this gun and go into the next
room and kill her."
The man goes into the room, and all is silent for about 5 minutes. He
comes back, with his tie loosened and he is all sweaty. He
puts down the gun and leaves. The second guy comes in and sits down.
The interviewer asks him the same questions, and the
responses are the same. The interviewer gives him a gun, and tells
him to go kill his wife. The guy puts the gun down and says "I
can't do it..."
The third guy comes in, the same thing happens. The interviewer gives
him a gun, and tells him to go kill his wife. The guy goes
into the room, and BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! This is
followed by a bunch of crashing sounds that end after a few
The guy comes out of the room with his tie loosened, and puts the gun
on the table. The interviewer looks at him and says "What
"The gun you gave me was filled with blanks so I had to strangle her!"
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They seat themselves, and
engage in animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores
their conversation at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears
one of the men say the following;
"Emma come first. Denna I come. Two asses, they come together. I
come again. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee
twice. Then I come once-a more."
"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this
country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.
"Imma justa tellun my friend howa to spella Mississippi."
"Democrats announced today that they are changing their emblem from a
donkey to a condom because it more clearly reflects their party's
political stance. A condom stands up to inflation, halts production,
discourages cooperation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives one a sense
of security while screwing others."
In memory of OJ 20 years ago...
Johnny Cochran visits OJ in the cell. Says he has good news and bad news.
OJ says give me the bad news.
Cochran says they found your blood at the crime scene, in the Bronco, in your house and on the gloves. You are totally implicated.
OJ very despondently asks, "So what's the good news"?
Cochran says, "Your cholesterol is 175".
2 guys golfing waiting on the 5th hole with 2 slow women in front of them.
The one guys says, "Go up to them and ask if we can play through".
Guy gets to within 100 yards and comes back.
Other guy says, "What happened?"
He says, "I can't talk to them! One of them is my wife and she's playing with my girlfriend!. Why don't you go up and ask them if we can play through?"
Other guy goes up the fairway, turns around and says to his buddy..."Damn it's a small world".
Last edited by Flushing Roots; 06-16-2014 at 04:17 PM.