A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. one of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there was definite movement.
They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick & bring her out of the coma.'
The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close the curtains for privacy.. The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room.
After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.
The husband said, 'I'm not sure... maybe she choked.'
In Morris Co., N.J. at the right end of a Browning 12 gauge
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Little Johnny is extremely excited to go to his 3rd grade class today, he knows the teacher will be asking questions about NYC, and to describe NYC in a sentence.
The teacher asks who would like to go first, and Johnny is waving his hand like crazy,... crazy, me,me, me. The teacher calls on Sally, and she says," The Empire State building is tall, and has a million steps in it." Very good, the teacher replies.
Once again she asks, and Johnny is going appe$hit, me,me,me. The teacher calls on Freddy and he says, "We have many places to eat here, Chinese, Italian etc." The teacher again says well done.
This goes on the entire class, and Johnny is getting pissed. He finally gets called on, the teacher asks him what he would like to say.
With that, Johnny pops up out of his seat and yells," NYC has a subway system, and it is full of Rats!!!,.. big phukin Rats!!!!,... with Diccks this big!!!!"
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an indian chief and his young son are walking through the woods one day...
the young boy looks at his father and asks, "father, how did you come to name my brother??"....the indian chief responds, "well son- one day i saw a bear running through the woods, so i named him running bear"...
a few moments later the young boy asks his father, "father, how did you come to name my sister?"...the indian chief responds, "well son, another day i was in the woods and i saw deer running through the woods...so i named her running deer"....
the indian chief pauses and looks at his son, then asks, "why do you ask so many questions two dogs fuqing?"
Two drunks walk into a tavern and saddles up to the bar. Bartender walks up and sees that one of the drunks has his pants down to his ankles and the other one has his finger planted firmly up his fanny.
Bartender yells "Hey! we don't allow that kinda behavior in this establishment!"
The bum with his finger in his buddy's behind says "no it's not like that, my buddy here has a stomache ache and I'm trying to get him to throw up"
Bartender looks at him says "that ain't gonna make him throw up"
The bum responds "sure it will..as soon as I stick my finger in his mouth"
A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Polish joke. The bartender pointed to a large man at the end of the bar and said, "He's Polish." Then the bartender pointed to a burly policeman near the door and repeated, "He's Polish." The bartender finished, "Now think about whether you want to tell that joke, because I'm Polish, too." The customer replied, "I guess I won't tell that joke after all. I'd have to explain it three times."