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Thread: What is Consistency

  1. #1

    What is Consistency

    Now that the football is back on us its time to load up on crappy NFL announcer jargon. Sometimes this is helpful, such as when you are on the back end of a 36 hour bender and you might forget that you are watching, FOOTBALL, played by FOOTBALL players, in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Other times its more grating, such as the rampant use of the word consistency. A few thoughts

    A) We dont want consistency. A pass rusher, even the best, is going to be an abject failure on 7/8 plays. We strive for inconsistency. The most allegedly consistent offenses - think the Colts, have a scoring range that is just as wide as that of the Cleveland Browns.

    B) Consistent players usually suck. To go trans sport, one of the most consistent players in the major leagues this year is Oliver Perez.

    C) NFL analysts fail English tests. Vernon Gholston apparently needs to find consistency, as if having the exact same statistical output every game is something other than wildly consistent.

    D) Would Rex be consistent? I have some trouble separating satire from reality, but our coach appears to have slaughtered a jaguar and a dolphin on a whim. Consistent people dont do that, they act like Tony Dungy.

    So lets strive to be wildly inconsistent all year up until the moment when the Jets buck all trends and drink out of the Lombardi Trophy.

  2. #2
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    [QUOTE=hamburglar;3726549]Now that the football is back on us its time to load up on crappy NFL announcer jargon. Sometimes this is helpful, such as when you are on the back end of a 36 hour bender and you might forget that you are watching, FOOTBALL, played by FOOTBALL players, in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE. Other times its more grating, such as the rampant use of the word consistency. A few thoughts

    A) We dont want consistency. A pass rusher, even the best, is going to be an abject failure on 7/8 plays. We strive for inconsistency. The most allegedly consistent offenses - think the Colts, have a scoring range that is just as wide as that of the Cleveland Browns.

    B) Consistent players usually suck. To go trans sport, one of the most consistent players in the major leagues this year is Oliver Perez.

    C) NFL analysts fail English tests. Vernon Gholston apparently needs to find consistency, as if having the exact same statistical output every game is something other than wildly consistent.

    D) Would Rex be consistent? I have some trouble separating satire from reality, but our coach appears to have slaughtered a jaguar and a dolphin on a whim. Consistent people dont do that, they act like Tony Dungy.

    So lets strive to be wildly inconsistent all year up until the moment when the Jets buck all trends and drink out of the Lombardi Trophy.[/QUOTE]

    Where did you learn to talk er! write like that? you sound like a dictionary.

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