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Thread: A Dolphins Fan's Lamentations

  1. #1
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    A Dolphins Fan's Lamentations

    Regardless of the fact that its the Dolphins, this fan's lamentations really are expressions from a tortured soul:

    http://www.finsnation.com/fins_natio...al-reamed.html

    WARNING: Frequent inappropriate language

  2. #2
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    I LOVED this line.

    F*** your sh*tty stadium with its sh*tty art deco post modernistic bullsh*t decor. It's a f*cking football stadium, not the inside of a f*cking Little Havana hair salon.
    Hahaha!

  3. #3
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    He didn't really mention the ridiculous wolf crap...

  4. #4
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    F*ck you, Stephen Ross. You shrunken headed goblin faced fu*k. Fu*k your ideas to make this a glitzy team. Nobody f*cking cares, you c*ck. F*ck your night clubs and your bullsh!t orange carpets and your bullsh!t celebrities. You've turned this franchise into the fu*king Titanic. Just because you grew up not being invited to sit at the cool kids' table at Beach High doesn't give you the f*cking right to utterly ruin my fu*king football team with parties featuring hackneyed celebrities who haven't been fu*king relevant since the Clinton administration, and who never had any fu*king talent to begin with.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kleckomania View Post
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    It's so true!

    haha! D-list celebs feeling special again on their Orange Carpet!

    LMAO!

  6. #6
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    **** you, Stephen Ross. You shrunken headed goblin faced ****.
    **** you, Bill Parcells. You wanna ****ing bail? Bail. You overrated potato shaped stack of equine ****.
    **** you, Jeff Ireland. You Napoleon-complex ginger ****.
    **** you, Chad Henne. **** your underachieving overrated robotic ****ing ass. I am sick and ****ing tired of defending you. **** your complete inability to evolve as a ****ing quarterback, you ****ing robot cockrocket. You've been staring down receivers since you were ****ing conceived, you giant mental ward haircutted *******.
    lmaoo

    We gotta see if this guy will come over and start posting here!

  7. #7
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    YES! oh YES!

    Thank you so very much!

    LoL!

  8. #8
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    Sorta made my day in a perverse sort of way. As to the celebs, I doubt if they'll keep showing up (even if they're owners) if they stay in 3d or 4th place.

  9. #9
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    That was entertaining (in a guilty sort of way). For once a man who knows how to get maximum effect from a vocabulary of less than a dozen words...

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hitman Harris View Post
    He didn't really mention the ridiculous wolf crap...
    Aaaaahhhh-Ooooooohhhhh!

    SAR I

  11. #11
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    You almost forget that fans of other teams are real people too.

  12. #12
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    Lifes guilty pleasures.

    Yes.

  13. #13
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    I like this guy in the comments, addresses the feed the wolf stuff..

    Thank you, Dude, Jesus ****ing Chirst that made me feel so much ****ing better. I couldnt have said it better myself. I didnt want this article to end.
    Im 30....30 ****ING YEARS OLD! I BEGINNING TO FORM A ****ING BALD SPOT!!! AND THE DOLPHINS WON A SUPER BOWL 7 YEARS BEFORE MY PARENTS ****ED!!!!
    Its not the losing, its the "whipptie ****...look at us...we are 7-9....woohoooo almost there!!!" ****. YOU. DAN MARINO AINT WALKING THROUGH THAT DOOR....AND IF HE DID YOU WOULD STILL **** IT UP.
    GUESS WHAT FEED THE WOLF IS.....****ING WOLF ****, THATS WHAT! TAKE YOUR STUPID ****ING SLOGANS, AND ****ING SHOVE THEM UP YOUR ASS. IF I WANTED TO HOWL LIKE A WOLF, ID **** A HOOKER

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Equilibrium View Post
    Regardless of the fact that its the Dolphins, this fan's lamentations really are expressions from a tortured soul:

    http://www.finsnation.com/fins_natio...al-reamed.html

    WARNING: Frequent inappropriate language
    That is epic.

  15. #15
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    "**** you, Bill Parcells. You wanna ****ing bail? Bail. You overrated potato shaped stack of equine ****. **** your New York Giants Super Bowls and the reputation you garnered on someone else's hard work. **** your old school mentality. Oh I don't talk to reporters, they bother me. ****. You. Man the **** up. Take some responsibility. **** your golf cart and your ****ing race horses. I hope they ****ing die in a fire. **** your absolute refusal to draft play makers and instead going with the tried and true formula of drafting giant statues with no ****ing speed and no discernible football IQ what so ****ing ever. Your ****ing son-in-law is one hundred times the personnel guy you'll ever be. For their sake, I hope to ****ing Christ your grandkids inherited his genes and not yours, you worthless ****sack. Go away and waste another franchise's draft by drafting the next Drew ****ing Bledsoe."

    LOLz

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Equilibrium View Post
    Regardless of the fact that its the Dolphins, this fan's lamentations really are expressions from a tortured soul:

    http://www.finsnation.com/fins_natio...al-reamed.html

    WARNING: Frequent inappropriate language
    You just made my day =)

  17. #17
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    wow... just wow. maybe just maybe the dolphags are going to lose more than just games this year...

  18. #18
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    OK which one of you SOJFs out there made this comment?

    I don't care if we say F*** THE ROBOT and go back to Pennington at this point

  19. #19
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    This is a must read for any tortured fan, funny as hell, and great comedy!!!

    And my favorite quote:

    We'll (Dolphins) just keep sucking xxck until the sun burns out.

  20. #20
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    Wow...I could go on reading this for days! This guy should consider writing a column called "Monday Morning Physco", If I owned a News Paper I would sign this guy asap. I cant point out a single line because the whole thing is f$%^ing brilliant. Please can somebody contact this guy and ask him to write a story after every miami loss..


    HA.HA.HA.HA....HUH...HUH...HUH...HA.HA

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