This forum has been dead for a year, so thought I'd add this thread: caution, in the link below there is fairly expletive ridden - obviously its a twitter account so you can read it anywhere, but if swearing is not for you don't click on the link. If you are knowledgeable about the English game it definitely has its moments of comedy gold; Allardyce is a well known English manager; obviously the account is not actually his, but that doesn't make it any less funny.

http://twitter.com/TheBig_Sam

Some samples:

"I haven't yet been able to irrevocably "prove" it, but I really do believe I can control waves.

You should see me, on the beach at midnight, orchestrating the waves in a magnificent, frothy ballet. It's like something out of 'Fantasia'."

"So when Jackie Chan beats the **** out of a bunch of kids he's a hero, but when Big Sam does it outside Asda he's a monster? Sickening."

"What's this odour filling my nostrils? The smell of 11 Geordie corpses, slain by the steely blade of Big Sam's tactical excellence."

"Big Sam's ultimate sexual fantasy? Easy - getting a blow job whilst leaping through the waves atop a magnificent Killer Whale.

I should clarify - I mean getting fellatio from a woman. Not the whale. That would be weird. Although, their tongues do look nice and soft."