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Thread: The Hampur:Call Of Dooty

  1. #81
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    Holy crap! Literally. I had the back up problem. Ever since the Fiber One I feel like my assholle has imploded. I must have lost at least 10 lbs.

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Super Newb View Post
    my cat pooped in the hamper last week. we were soooo pissed
    Super Newb sighting!

  3. #83
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    I've got to try this shytter. Top of the line, right here-

    http://www.geek.com/articles/geek-ce...6400-20110418/

    And I'd love to cop a squat on that terlet in the room with that view. I don't think I'd get up for a good 35 minutes.

  4. #84
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    I hate when this happens....





  5. #85
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    Today there was slippage. You know, you're wrapping things up and somehow, a finger slips. This has ruined my entire day. I scrubbed with soap and SCALDING water, even sprayed Lysol on it. I know there is no chance of any germs or smell being left, but I can't help but think it's still there. It's like a bum tooth, I keep checking.

    Did I mention my ****ing day is ruined now because of this? Jeez, I ****ing hate when this happens. MOTHER****ER!!!!

  6. #86
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  7. #87
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetworks View Post


    Today there was slippage. You know, you're wrapping things up and somehow, a finger slips. This has ruined my entire day. I scrubbed with soap and SCALDING water, even sprayed Lysol on it. I know there is no chance of any germs or smell being left, but I can't help but think it's still there. It's like a bum tooth, I keep checking.

    Did I mention my ****ing day is ruined now because of this? Jeez, I ****ing hate when this happens. MOTHER****ER!!!!

    From this day forward your shall be knowst to all Hamuprites as "Stinky Pinkie"

  8. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post


    Top 10 for sure.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    From this day forward your shall be knowst to all Hamuprites as "Stinky Pinkie"
    It was my ring finger.























    AKA.....
























    Wait for it.....









































    digitus annularis


  9. #89
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetworks View Post


    Top 10 for sure.



    It was my ring finger.


    AKA.....


    wait for it.....









































    digitus annularis


    Feces Finger?
    Dingus Digit?
    Poopy Pinkie?
    Sh!t Fist?

  10. #90
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    I learn so much when I read this forum...

  11. #91
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    Feces Finger?
    Dingus Digit?
    Poopy Pinkie?
    Sh!t Fist?


    Why ya gotta be so mean?


    Stinkfist works best, I suppose.

  12. #92
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jetworks View Post
    Today there was slippage. You know, you're wrapping things up and somehow, a finger slips. This has ruined my entire day. I scrubbed with soap and SCALDING water, even sprayed Lysol on it. I know there is no chance of any germs or smell being left, but I can't help but think it's still there. It's like a bum tooth, I keep checking.

    Did I mention my ****ing day is ruined now because of this? Jeez, I ****ing hate when this happens. MOTHER****ER!!!!

  13. #93
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    I put my original posting in the wrong thread. Think it belongs here:

    I had a "ying-yang" doots experience yesterday. After Irene caused us to lose power early Sunday morning (I have a well so only so much water to store for flushing, etc.), I must have psychologically willed myself not to feel the urge to defecate. Even when we stayed at my folks' house, I just didn't 'go".

    Well, during the drive up to Putnam County yesterday, I started to feel some discomfort. After a few feeble attempts to pass the now-igneous mass, and struggled through cramps/pain, I headed off to Walmart for prune juice and stool softener.

    Feeling that the situation was rapidly approaching critical mass, and my lifelong fear of getting an emergency room enema, I took three caplets instead of the recommended one and slammed down 32 oz. of prune juice in just over three minutes. Within two hours--during which I cleaned bathrooms and fridge, did laundry, etc.--I had passed the culprit(s) blocking my colon and became a veritable font of watery discharge. I must have gone 6-7 times before an "all clear" was declared around 11PM last night.

    I now know what it must be like to experience both child birth and a sexual foray with a gay male porn star.

  14. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by crossfire View Post
    LOL

  15. #95
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    I swear to God the **** I took today was so big, that I swear this is what it felt like pooping out







    I was so big that when it KA-LUNGED into the toilet, it totally stuck the landing; as I could imagine the none cone of the poop log getting smashed down, like a fat sweaty guy mushing his his cigar into a white ashtray.

    For a moment it seemingly stood on its own for a moment, before slowly listing to its side, and coming to rest alongside the side of the bowl; akin to a homeless man coming to rest against a brick wall, after getting shivved in a dank alleyway.

  16. #96
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I swear to God the **** I took today was so big, that I swear this is what it felt like pooping out







    I was so big that when it KA-LUNGED into the toilet, it totally stuck the landing; as I could imagine the none cone of the poop log getting smashed down, like a fat sweaty guy mushing his his cigar into a white ashtray.

    For a moment it seemingly stood on its own for a moment, before slowly listing to its side, and coming to rest alongside the side of the bowl; akin to a homeless man coming to rest against a brick wall, after getting shivved in a dank alleyway.

    skyrim called, it misses you....

  17. #97
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I swear to God the **** I took today was so big, that I swear this is what it felt like pooping out







    I was so big that when it KA-LUNGED into the toilet, it totally stuck the landing; as I could imagine the none cone of the poop log getting smashed down, like a fat sweaty guy mushing his his cigar into a white ashtray.

    For a moment it seemingly stood on its own for a moment, before slowly listing to its side, and coming to rest alongside the side of the bowl; akin to a homeless man coming to rest against a brick wall, after getting shivved in a dank alleyway.
    Pics or it didn't happen

  18. #98
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    Pics or it didn't happen

    I figured the mental picture was disturbing enough.

  19. #99
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    I figured the mental picture was disturbing enough.
    You figured wrong. We want to see blood. And corn. Yes, definitely corn.

  20. #100
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets Things View Post
    You figured wrong. We want to see blood. And corn. Yes, definitely corn.

    It was pretty big; I was really considering taking a picture of it, until the thought of dropping my phone onto a pile of my own feces took me aback.

    Luckily the auto-flush at work choked down my giant crap before I could capture its visage.

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