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Thread: "Splashback"... And Other of Life's Annoyances...

  1. #1

    "Splashback"... And Other of Life's Annoyances...

    Why are there so many little things that happen everyday that are just there to diminish our quality of life?
    Stupid things that piss us off...
    Why does "splashback" even happen?
    You sit down on the bowl anticipating a nice relaxing doot, and then, as the first little log hits the water... Bam... your anus is awash in bacteria-laden toilet water!
    Totally destroys the moment for me...
    And what's worse, when splashback happens in a public toilet, picturing the countless contributions of other guy's feces, urine, and smega matter inoculating that delicate area makes me want to spray my ass with a can of Lysol...
    Yuck...

    [IMG]http://graphicmania.net/wp-content/uploads/26052010/speed04.jpg[/IMG]

  2. #2
    Jets Insider VIP
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    Dude, TP mattress.

    Always fold a few layers of TP and place it on the water. Covers splash, and plopping sounds.

  3. #3
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    You need to ease your logs slowly into the water like an old man slipping into a hot bath.

    If not the TP mattress is a good call by Frenchy.

  4. #4
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    [QUOTE=RaoulDuke;3940335]Dude, TP mattress.

    Always fold a few layers of TP and place it on the water. Covers splash, and plopping sounds.[/QUOTE]

    We call this the "splash pad" - just recently discovered it myself and am a devout follower now.

  5. #5
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    You have to slow the velocity down of the nose cone of the poop log at the point of water entry. How to exactly do that is a good question.

    Or the splash pad, as recommended above.

  6. #6
    I've tried the "splash pad"...
    It seems that the first "dive-bomber" sinks the pad...
    The follow-up "deposit" kicks up the fountain... :mad:

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE=jetswinbaby!;3940446]I've tried the "splash pad"...
    It seems that the first "dive-bomber" sinks the pad...
    The follow-up "deposit" kicks up the fountain... :mad:[/QUOTE]

    use the entire roll of TP

  8. #8
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    [QUOTE=Big L;3940391]You have to slow the velocity down of the nose cone of the poop log at the point of water entry. How to exactly do that is a good question.

    Or the splash pad, as recommended above.[/QUOTE]


    It all depends on the consistency of your leavings. Lately I have had slow Play-doh type poo so its easier to control its speed and entry velocity.

    However, if you've just eaten a Havana Omelet and washed it down with Mexican tap water, this maneuver is impossible.

  9. #9
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    You guys disturb me sometimes.

    I mean...I'm a plumber. And you guys have more doot stories than I do. :eek:

  10. #10
    I dont feel like I have the pooping high ground so I wont criticize the consistency or texture of another mans poo, but if you have the mass or velocity to regularly cause splashback then holy **** check your diet.

  11. #11
    I thought "splash back" referred to what happens after a heated "outercourse" and/or pull out session.

  12. #12
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    [QUOTE=PlumberKhan;3940463]You guys disturb me sometimes.

    I mean...I'm a plumber. And you guys have more doot stories than I do. :eek:[/QUOTE]


    You're holding out on us.
    Don't Bogart teh funneh doot stories.


    Mods can we merge wit the "Call Of Dooty" thread?

    [IMG]http://www.majhost.com/gallery/DanElHombre/smilies/poop.gif[/IMG]

  13. #13
    [QUOTE=Borgoguy;3940469]I thought "splash back" referred to what happens after a heated "outercourse" and/or pull out session.[/QUOTE]

    Isn't that a "cream pie"?
    Confused...

  14. #14
    [QUOTE=jetswinbaby!;3940492]Isn't that a "cream pie"?
    Confused...[/QUOTE]

    No. That would be an internal release. Some effluent might escape through the female's voluntary muscle contractions (or male's if one is so inclined) or gravity, but the majority should remain in the intended crevice.

  15. #15
    Bewildered Beast
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    [QUOTE=Borgoguy;3940469]I thought "splash back" referred to what happens after a heated "outercourse" and/or pull out session.[/QUOTE]

    That's in my line of thinking; back when a lass used a diaphragm, you could not just "dive in" in the morning. You'd get splashback. :eek:

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