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Thread: future obits for hampur members

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borgoguy View Post
    Jeremiah Wordsworth ("Jetswin") Etherington-Sample--noted esthetician, gemologist, and part-time moderator of an internet enterprise called JetsInsider (sometimes shortened by those "in the know" to "JI") was struck and killed by a rental vehicle driven by former Allman Brothers' guitarist, Claude Hudson "Butch" Trucks this morning. Trucks had been commissioned by a well-meaning group of members of the aforementioned JetsInsider to surprise "Jetswin" with a series of guitar master classes aimed at bringing the aspiring, yet eternally struggling, guitarist "up to speed with his goddam limited ability to play the f**king (sic) thing (instrument)", as Trucks uttered whilst sipping a calming herbal tea to onlookers at the scene of the vehicular tragedy. Calls to the founder and site administrator of "JI", Viscount (only legally tenable in provincial Estonia, where the Deegan (originally Degnatzina) family still maintains a struggling hand hewn marionette enterprise) Sean Deegan were not immediately returned. He was 42.
    Derek but that's ok (Butch plays drums)

    lol

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by jetswin View Post
    Derek but that's ok (Butch plays drums)

    lol
    LOL! You know what's funny? I meant to say Dickie Betts. I'm losing it, JW.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by WestCoastOffensive View Post
    THE IRONY BROKE HIS BACK
    Sourceworx, an irascible poster that delighted in homemade brews and cursing the Schottenheimer family of New Jersey, died today; drowning in his own vast brewing kettle on Long Island. While other Jets fans around the globe celebrated the Jets COME FROM BEHIND victory in the 2014 Superbowl, sourceworx was depressed by Rex Ryan's post game statement that he was going on vacation now and "Shotty" would be the new Jets head coach. Sourceworx had become catatonic at that moment of the announcement; then stood up and told everyone present he would now go and drink the biggest beer of his life.
    LOL

    Nice.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borgoguy View Post
    family still maintains a struggling hand hewn marionette enterprise

  5. #25
    Noted lothario, guitarist, Marc Bolan enthusiast, and Jets fan Borgo Guy passed away today at the age of 69. He was last known fan of the band Uriah Heep. Although his death occurred in flagrante delicto, he was known to have been suffering from early-onset Alzheimer's first diagnosed by medical expert and noted life-saver, Jetswin, a long-time internet acquaintance. In addition to Jetswin, survivors include his wife, his extensive collection of soft-core pornography, and his brothers Ray and Buddy.

  6. #26
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    The "Borgoguy" - The quintessential connoiseur of all things moist, from Tuscana Fegatelli di maiale to young female pearls of the Orient, passed suddenly this past weekend while attempting an non traditional oral perlustration of his long time female partner. A snapped neck was determined to be the cause. Obscure Canadian rock band Sum 41 played their opus Pain for Pleasure at the memorial.

  7. #27
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    Claudio "Jets Things" Tanhauser, maker of fine designer anal beads, phallic implements, and lubricants mainly for the gay porn industry was killed yesterday evening at his Camden, NJ factory and gift shop. The cause of death was attributed to rectal impaling--and associated, catastrophic, blood loss--at the hands of a disgruntled customer, who took offense at the, seemingly, shoddy workmanship--and exorbitant pricing point--of a "Chocolate Daddy" double headed dong (sic) he had purchased for the upcoming nuptials of the irate gentleman and his life partner. Jet Things leaves behind a wife (sic), one child, and two parents, estranged from Jets Things since he first shared his life's dream of a building a "really huge dildo factory" with them on an ill timed phone call whist a Summer barboy (sic) on Fire Island's Cherry Grove. Jets Things was 31.
    Last edited by Borgoguy; 02-09-2011 at 02:49 PM.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by AFCEastFan View Post
    Noted lothario, guitarist, Marc Bolan enthusiast, and Jets fan Borgo Guy passed away today at the age of 69. He was last known fan of the band Uriah Heep. Although his death occurred in flagrante delicto, he was known to have been suffering from early-onset Alzheimer's first diagnosed by medical expert and noted life-saver, Jetswin, a long-time internet acquaintance. In addition to Jetswin, survivors include his wife, his extensive collection of soft-core pornography, and his brothers Ray and Buddy.
    LOL! Well done, AFC.

    Quote Originally Posted by jetswin View Post
    The "Borgoguy" - The quintessential connoiseur of all things moist, from Tuscana Fegatelli di maiale to young female pearls of the Orient, passed suddenly this past weekend while attempting an non traditional oral perlustration of his long time female partner. A snapped neck was determined to be the cause. Obscure Canadian rock band Sum 41 played their opus Pain for Pleasure at the memorial.
    LOL! I really hope this happens. Nice, Q.

  9. #29
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    With the exception of the first post, this thread is hilarious.




    Lot of "A" games being brought to the table.



  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    With the exception of the first post, this thread is hilarious.




    Lot of "A" games being brought to the table.



    I'm cruising along in D+ mode so I'll abstain for now...

  11. #31
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    Borgo win the award for best usage of (sic) on the internet.

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borgoguy View Post
    Claudio "Jets Things" Tanhauser, maker of fine designer anal beads, phallic implements, and lubricants mainly for the gay porn industry was killed yesterday evening at his Camden, NJ factory and gift shop. The cause of death was attributed to rectal impaling--and associated, catastrophic, blood loss--at the hands of a disgruntled customer, who took offense at the, seemingly, shoddy workmanship--and exorbitant pricing point--of a "Chocolate Daddy" double headed dong (sic) he had purchased for the upcoming nuptials of the irate gentleman and his life partner. Jet Things leaves behind a wife (sic), one child, and two parents, estranged from Jets Things since he first shared his life's dream of a building a "really huge dildo factory" with them on an ill timed phone call whist a Summer barboy (sic) on Fire Island's Cherry Grove. Jets Things was 31.
    wtf??

    lol at "really huge dildo factory"

    I guess the infancy of my dildonics research didn't warrant a mention.

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fishooked View Post
    Borgo win the award for best usage of (sic) on the internet.
    I was hoping some of those jokes would get through. Thanks, Fish.

  14. #34
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    Jetsrule128


    "tomb of the unknown banned poster"

  15. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borgoguy View Post
    Claudio "Jets Things" Tanhauser, maker of fine designer anal beads, phallic implements, and lubricants mainly for the gay porn industry was killed yesterday evening at his Camden, NJ factory and gift shop. The cause of death was attributed to rectal impaling--and associated, catastrophic, blood loss--at the hands of a disgruntled customer, who took offense at the, seemingly, shoddy workmanship--and exorbitant pricing point--of a "Chocolate Daddy" double headed dong (sic) he had purchased for the upcoming nuptials of the irate gentleman and his life partner. Jet Things leaves behind a wife (sic), one child, and two parents, estranged from Jets Things since he first shared his life's dream of a building a "really huge dildo factory" with them on an ill timed phone call whist a Summer barboy (sic) on Fire Island's Cherry Grove. Jets Things was 31.
    this is gold, and I'm crying, but not because of JT's passing. AND you worked "whilst" into it.


  16. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    this is gold, and I'm crying, but not because of JT's passing. AND you worked "whilst" into it.

    Irregardless, the whole post was rude and insulting.

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets Things View Post
    Irregardless, the whole post was rude and insulting.
    but it captured your essence. and your dildo legacy.

  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets Things View Post
    Irregardless, the whole post was rude and insulting.
    LOL

    That's alright - just create a new one directed at a different poster- its called deflection - as long as its not me

    I'm not sure I have the kind of talent to bloviate at a higher level than those who have posted before me...

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jets Things View Post
    Irregardless, the whole post was rude and insulting.
    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    but it captured your essence. and your dildo legacy.
    LOL! JT knows I'm only half kidding.

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    but it captured your essence. and your dildo legacy.

    It reminded me of this picture -


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