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Had folliculitis in the crotchal region once. It's not even close to an STD, but when the idiot internist saw it she immediately said "that's herpes." Boy, the next week was fun until I saw a real doctor and he larfed and said "you don't have herpes, thats folliculitis. It's nothing. Use this cream and it'll be gone in two days."
I feel really bad about firebombing my ex-girlfriend's Datsun 280ZX during that mindf-ck of a week, but that imaginary herpes will mess wit yo mind.