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Thread: OK. Which one of you guys is this?

  1. #1
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    OK. Which one of you guys is this?

    [url]http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/sha/2549849730.html[/url]
    $1000 Best. Roommate. Ever.

    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Date: 2011-08-18, 3:39PM PDT
    Reply to: [email]hous-ughzv-2549849730@craigslist.org[/email] [Errors when replying to ads?]
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------


    Konichiwa *****es. Are you looking for the most kick-ass ****ing roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You ****ing found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad-ass companies in New York ****ing City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky ****-hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post **** like this on Craigslist.

    Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no ****ing clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a **** if I have to sleep in your bathtub.

    A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your ****. If you leave **** out, I'm just like, "Oh **** I better not mess with this ****, because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. **** it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that **** in bearnaise. EVERY. GODDAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's ****ing FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your ****ing socks off.

    I also read a lot. I ****ing LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that ****. I read Tuesday's with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. ****ing smart. Do you like movies? I ****ing love them. We can watch the **** out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU!

    Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE **** YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James ****ing Taylor. AWWWWWW **** YEA!

    A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I ****ING LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or sexual preference. WTF?!!!? Pretty ****ing cool right?

    I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a ****load of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you **** already!

    Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic ass I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo ass up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your ****ing mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money.


    cats are OK - purrr
    dogs are OK - wooof
    it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests



    PostingID: 2549849730

  2. #2
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    Borgo posted that sh*t in the late 70's in the San Fran Chronicle,this guy stole it, updated it and posted it on CL.

    Son of Borgo???

  3. #3
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    Sounds like Kenny Powers looking for a roommate

    [IMG]http://cdn2.screenjunkies.com/wp-content/uploads/images/2010b/kennypowersshades.jpg[/IMG]

  4. #4
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    DWC.

    _

  5. #5
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    [QUOTE=jetsnrangers;4114912]Borgo posted that sh*t in the late 70's in the San Fran Chronicle,this guy stole it, updated it and posted it on CL.

    Son of Borgo???[/QUOTE]
    Borgo was the first guy I thought of too lol...didn't he say recently he was having home issues?

    :D

  6. #6
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    [QUOTE=jetswin;4114977]Borgo was the first guy I thought of too lol...[B]didn't he say recently he was having home issues?[/B]

    :D[/QUOTE]

    True!!!:D

  7. #7
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    [QUOTE=JStokes;4114964]DWC.

    _[/QUOTE]

    This.

    :yes:

  8. #8
    [QUOTE=jetsnrangers;4114912]Borgo posted that sh*t in the late 70's in the San Fran Chronicle,this guy stole it, updated it and posted it on CL.

    Son of Borgo???[/QUOTE]

    [QUOTE=jetswin;4114977]Borgo was the first guy I thought of too lol...didn't he say recently he was having home issues?

    :D[/QUOTE]

    LOL. Glad I, and my progeny, are held in such high regard.

    This part just absolutely killed my to the point of truly LOLing, especially that this person needed to include "karate trophies" he's won:

    "...sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your ****ing mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money."

  9. #9
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    Can't be me - I don't play the guitar; only one here who doesn't. :rolleyes:

  10. #10
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    [QUOTE=Borgoguy;4115069]LOL. Glad I, and my progeny, are held in such high regard.

    This part just absolutely killed my to the point of truly LOLing, especially that this person needed to include "karate trophies" he's won:

    "...sexual history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to bang before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your ****ing mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money."[/QUOTE]

    I mean really Borgo, who else could it be but you?

    hahaha

  11. #11
    [QUOTE=jetsnrangers;4115249]I mean really Borgo, who else could it be but you?

    hahaha[/QUOTE]

    I'll take it as a compliment, under protest. :D It might be me in spirit, but I'm (usually) not that much of douche, and would never use those gauche idiomatic phrases. I must have read that guy's listing 10 times, and laughed every single time.

  12. #12
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    This reminded me of the poster who drove cross country and relayed all the unimportant details.

    was it crayc?

  13. #13
    [QUOTE=crasherino;4115272]This reminded me of the poster who drove cross country and relayed all the unimportant details.

    was it crayc?[/QUOTE]

    Yup.

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