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Thread: The latest Debacle

  1. #1
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    The latest Debacle



    So I'm pulling into the train parking lot this morning, half asleep, on autopilot, and see a parking space that's between 2 relatively nice cars (Audi and some non-descript Japanese sedan). The woman in the Audi has parked very poorly in her spot, not over the line, but crooked and close to it. I need some maneuvering to get in. I have my window open and as I'm pulling in mutter "oh look at this mess". She may have heard me - don't know. She gets back into her car, straightens it out, looks over and smiles. I wave and smile back.

    (I'm actually shocked that someone would do this, considering the amount and severity of parking outrages I see every day.)

    As I'm walking towards the platform, I realize I'm catching up to her. From the back, she looks pretty good, but I"m pretty sure she has 4-6 years on me. As I pull even with her, she looks over:

    me: thanks again
    her: no problem. nice car. I noticed you've parked next to me before.
    me: I'm extra careful and I figure people with nice cars will be also.

    (and then I slip)

    me: I have really big balls



    her: I'm sorry - what did you say?

    me: I have very big doors. 2 door sports cars are like that.

    her: I guess so.

    me: have a good day.

    her: you too.

    I don't think she saw me turn red.

  2. #2
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    LOL. You have finally lost it completely. WTF were you thinking with the "big balls" comment? That's classic. You're lucky she didn't slap the s hit out of you.

  3. #3
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    I LOL'd



    "I have to be careful that MY HUGE COCK won't dent your door"

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borgoguy View Post
    LOL. You have finally lost it completely. WTF were you thinking with the "big balls" comment? That's classic. You're lucky she didn't slap the s hit out of you.
    It was a slip - I swear. I was really embarrassed.


    besides - ever see the Camaro's doors? They're huge and heavy.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    (and then I slip)

    me: I have really big balls



    her: I'm sorry - what did you say?
    quantum: I have elephantitis of the nuts. It's pretty tasty. Wanna see?

    her: No thank you.

    quantum: It's really hard to park a car with them.

    quantum: Oh, would you ever consider dating a guy who looked like this?

    her: Can't you just leave me alone?

    quantum: I mean, I have a nice personality and a cool car... although you'd probably have to ride in the backseat because my nuts would ride shotgun

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    It was a slip - I swear. I was really embarrassed.


    besides - ever see the Camaro's doors? They're huge and heavy.
    Who'd the chick look like? More importantly, are your balls really massive or was that a bit of hyperbole?

  7. #7
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    She heard you mutter under your breast, I mean breathe, a parking spot over, over the car engine, and possibly the radio....

    I'm sure she didn't hear your balls.

    Don't sweat. No one likes big sweaty balls.

    Ps. Updates tomorrow morning please.

  8. #8
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    Bottle blonde, about 5'9"(?), thin, facially, about a 6. Too skinny for my tastes, but nice butt.

    I have to start taking an earlier train soon because my office is moving, so I may start this tomorrow.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Borgoguy View Post
    Who'd the chick look like? More importantly, are your balls really massive or was that a bit of hyperbole?
    I can assure you that this was not some kind of crude pickup line. It was a Freudian Slip, coupled with being half asleep.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post
    I can assure you that this was not some kind of crude pickup line. It was a Freudian Slip, coupled with being half asleep.
    Geez. I can't imagine how you felt. One of those times when you feel the blood draining from your brain as you realize what words you said.

  11. #11
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    On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend.

    I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close.

    Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6.

    Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’.

    ‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’

    Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.
    Last edited by RaoulDuke; 09-21-2011 at 09:30 AM.

  12. #12
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    This thread useless without pics.

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by JetPotato View Post
    This thread useless without pics.
    Of his balls?

  14. #14
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    Ouch! But I'm sure he knew it was exactly what it was, just a sports term. But I would have felt like sh!t too.

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend.

    I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close.

    Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6.

    Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’.

    ‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’

    Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.
    Oh, God. I jump off a bridge after saying that.

    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    Of his balls?
    LOL!

  16. #16
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    You should have said "I have huge penis". Girls are more into dicks then balls from my experience. Thus explains your failure to get her interested.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by quantum View Post


    So I'm pulling into the train parking lot this morning, half asleep, on autopilot, and see a parking space that's between 2 relatively nice cars (Audi and some non-descript Japanese sedan). The woman in the Audi has parked very poorly in her spot, not over the line, but crooked and close to it. I need some maneuvering to get in. I have my window open and as I'm pulling in mutter "oh look at this mess". She may have heard me - don't know. She gets back into her car, straightens it out, looks over and smiles. I wave and smile back.

    (I'm actually shocked that someone would do this, considering the amount and severity of parking outrages I see every day.)

    As I'm walking towards the platform, I realize I'm catching up to her. From the back, she looks pretty good, but I"m pretty sure she has 4-6 years on me. As I pull even with her, she looks over:

    me: thanks again
    her: no problem. nice car. I noticed you've parked next to me before.
    me: I'm extra careful and I figure people with nice cars will be also.

    (and then I slip)

    me: I have really big balls



    her: I'm sorry - what did you say?

    me: I have very big doors. 2 door sports cars are like that.

    her: I guess so.

    me: have a good day.

    her: you too.

    I don't think she saw me turn red.
    Just think, she will be imagining your balls all day now. Human nature.



    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    On a more somber note I had an awful slip this weekend.

    I was playing tennis with my neighbor this weekend. Three months ago, he lost his 1 month old child to crib death. It was awful to say the least, and with my wife, we were there every step of the way even though were not that close.

    Anyhow, it was tied 4-4 in the 2nd set, time was running out, so I offered to play a tie breaker instead of playing all the way to 6-6.

    Except I I said “Do you want to have a sudden death?” instead of ‘tie breaker’.

    ‘Crib death’ in French is called ‘sudden death’

    Ugh…I wanted to run and hide in a hole.
    Is it turble that 4 jokes immediately flew into my brain after reading this?

    One of them was good too.

    I'll decline out of respect for the solemnity of teh subject.


  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Is it turble that 4 jokes immediately flew into my brain after reading this?

    One of them was good too.

    I'll decline out of respect for the solemnity of teh subject.

    It's a very bizarre situation having lived something so personal and so traumatising with people that you don't consider close. In other words, I don't feel close enough to this guy where I could ask him how he's holding up. I'd feel like I'm intruding.

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by RaoulDuke View Post
    It's a very bizarre situation having lived something so personal and so traumatising with people that you don't consider close. In other words, I don't feel close enough to this guy where I could ask him how he's holding up. I'd feel like I'm intruding.
    Its gotta be awkward, even having your kids around them prolly makes you feel guilty.


  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by 32green View Post
    Its gotta be awkward, even having your kids around them prolly makes you feel guilty.

    You have no idea... Our daughter was born 3 weeks before theirs.


    Anywhoo, back to Quantum's ball sackk!

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