[QUOTE=Borgoguy;4162602]What does a toaster do?[/QUOTE]
What does a toaster do? Toast up my bread? Maybe my bagel? Does it toast just for me, for us? Lightly or darkly? I hope it toasts lightly, because I can't any longer toast for myself. I burn all my toast. I hope for everyone's sake the toasters do better. Because if the toaster toasts only darkly, the way I do, then I'm cursed and cursed again. I'll only wind up hungry this way, eating very little, and getting that little bit of toast wrong too.
[QUOTE=shakin318;4162593]So last night I'm sleeping off a nice MNF binge and the dreams are coming fast and furious. One actually woke me up from laughing. I was painting a room in this customer's house (Charlie Samuels, the ex-Mets equipment manager who got caught for stealing memorabilia -- I actually did paint his house around 25 years ago), and the sexy wife asks me if I can help her hook up her "dual VCR." I say "no problem," and I go to take a look, and her "dual VCR" is actually a 2-slice toaster. I laughed my ass off so hard at this dumb broad that it actually woke me up. Then I got pissed and tried to fall back to sleep real fast so I could get to the part where we start banging, but I couldn't get the dream theme back on track. Dammit.[/QUOTE]
dual vcr = woman with two breasts
2-slice toaster = man with two penises
somebody's been picking up the cross dressers again at night on the street corner