Page 1 of 4 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 75

Thread: See you guys Friday

  1. #1
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Jun 2003
    Location
    Bergen County, NJ
    Posts
    20,115
    Post Thanks / Like

    See you guys Friday

    Who has to put a note in their son's lunch bag for tomorrow that they wish his Mom was still here for him? Who has to call all the rest of the kids to apologize for not being able to do enough, even though everything possible wasn't enough?

    Who? I still ask every day.

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXxsJM0mPeQ[/url]

    Never posted this before, but here is what I told them with 1000 friends and strangers in a church in 2004. At the time they were just 16, 14, 12 and 10.



    [I] EULOGY FOR JULIE

    Sarah, Matt, Jackie, Tommy,

    It may look like there are a lot of other people here, but I hope that they would indulge me if I ramble on for a bit, because I think that it is important that I speak to you guys today. There will be plenty of time later today, tonight, tomorrow, the rest of our lives, to thank all these incredible people who have been so tremendously supportive of us, our family and Mom, but for right now, I need to tell YOU some things about your Mom.

    It has been said that the hardest thing about death is not that it changes the future, but rather that it leaves us alone with our memories. But the memories you have created of Mom will allow her to live on forever within you.

    I know you know it, but I think it is important to tell you again that Mom loved you guys so very very much. And some of the things that made her so sad about all this was that she was not going to be there for YOU for the milestone events in your lives, and that because you are so young, that someday your memories of her would begin to fade.

    But I told her that could never happen because of the wonderful woman that she was, the so many incredible things we did together, the so many vivid memories we had created together, that you would not ever forget. She had that Winnie the Pooh picture on her desk that says ďPromise you wonít ever forget about me, ever. Not even when Iím a hundred.Ē Thatís never going to happen.

    And I told her that I have always felt that once you had been some place, breathed the air, touched the earth, swam the water, that a little part of you would remain. So that some day, when you return to the top of Stowe Mountain and a blizzard rolled in, Mom would be there with you. And if some day you were zipping around the hairpin turns on the Amalfi Coast highway with YOUR kids, that Mom would be screaming right there with you. And when you swam the waters down the shore, or the Keys, California, or even Smith Mountain Lake, Mom would be right there with you. You can breathe her in again. She will be there with you always to cheer that goal, see you walk down the aisle, see you graduate from college, hold the bag for YOUR son when HE throws up in the Louvre.

    No child should ever have to grow up without a mother, and there are no grand lessons to be learned by all of this. But I hope someday when you fully understand that Mom wonít be coming back, you realize that any moment could be the last. Nothing in life should simply be a passage from one place to another. Each walk should be taken as if it is the only thing you have left. Life is not a dress rehearsal. You may plan for the future, as Mom and I did, but it can be ripped away from you at any moment. So plan, but also live for today.

    But the part about all this that hurt Mom the most was that she knew she would never get to see the type of persons you would ultimately come to be. You are SUCH great kids, Mom wanted to be there to see how you continued to develop as teens, young adults, as husbands and wives, as parents. Thatís what disappointed her so very much, the not knowing.

    So you would honor your mother greatly if you would ALWAYS stay the type of sweet, kind, gentle, loving people that you are now, so that her last thoughts of you allowed her to see you EXACTLY how you turned out to be.

    November 17, 2004[/I]


    I know it gets old for you guys, but it just doesn't go away for me.

    This one day of the year I hope you indulge me.

    _

  2. #2
    Mod Friend to JI Legends
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    SF via Strong Island
    Posts
    29,956
    Post Thanks / Like
    I can't imagine your position, Stokes. Seems terribly unfair. We are here for you.

    My wife is on her 3rd straight week of no smoking (Allen Carr method?); I was in her chest about me "not raising grandkids alone". I guess she heard that.

  3. #3
    All Pro
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Posts
    9,478
    Post Thanks / Like
    I couldn't finish reading that.... that was painful and I don't even know you.

    It's possible that Stokes has inspired me to believe in love again.
    Last edited by southside; 11-17-2011 at 12:57 AM.

  4. #4
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Long Island, NY
    Posts
    6,876
    Post Thanks / Like
    Wow... not sure what else to say. I simply can not imagine losing my wife. We have talked about this because she lost both of her parents by the time she was 2.

    Life can be so unfair but oh the gifts your wife left behind. Four wonderful children who carry her memory with them all the days of their lives. That is her legacy.

    Some day you will all be together in paradise. That may sound hollow now but I hope that knowing that can give you some peace on such a day of sorrow.

  5. #5
    All League
    Join Date
    Aug 2003
    Location
    Simi Valley, CA
    Posts
    4,227
    Post Thanks / Like
    Stokes - you're in my thoughts and prayers today! I hope you and the kids have the opportunity to get together and celebrate Julie.

  6. #6
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    11,169
    Post Thanks / Like
    Take care buddy. No words can describe what you've been through, and no it never get old with us.

  7. #7
    Rookie
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    721
    Post Thanks / Like
    man im in your kids ages and that brought me to tears and i cant imagine. God bless you and hope all is well.

  8. #8
    Rookie
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Posts
    721
    Post Thanks / Like
    and i just called my mom. Thank you Stokes that was very meaningful for me

  9. #9
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Istanbul
    Posts
    2,087
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=southside;4236317]I couldn't finish reading that.... that was painful and I don't even know you.[/QUOTE]

    +1

    I really don't know what else to so say but belated condolences.

    I've never had an untimely death in my family, thank God, and personally this is the only reason that keeps me from becoming a full fledged atheist. My mother went through two bouts with breast cancer and survived em both. Both times I was scared ****less and I was much older then your kids. For lucky people like me what you and your family must've went through is just unimaginable. Again and again very sorry for your loss.
    Last edited by The Turk; 11-17-2011 at 04:26 AM.

  10. #10
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Paris, France
    Posts
    12,736
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=Dimitri_0515;4236328]Take care buddy. No words can describe what you've been through, [B]and no it never get old with us[/B].[/QUOTE]

    +1. I hope it helps a bit in dealing with your loss. If anything it reminds us that life can throw a fastball at us at any time.

    :rip:

  11. #11
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    North Jersey
    Posts
    3,267
    Post Thanks / Like
    Stay strong today..... Very touching, def gave a diff outlook for the day.... One day at a time.... Carpe diem....

  12. #12
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    14,753
    Post Thanks / Like
    Beautifully stated, I wish the best for you and your children.

  13. #13
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Westchester Co.
    Posts
    37,855
    Post Thanks / Like
    Stokes I can't believe it has been that long, as always my prayers for you and yours. One thing fellas, appreciate the relationships you have, bad things happen to good people when you least expect it.

  14. #14
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    1,529
    Post Thanks / Like
    Peace and solace, muchacho.

  15. #15
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    742 Evergreen Terrace
    Posts
    11,014
    Post Thanks / Like
    Thoughts and prayers, Stokes.

  16. #16
    Hall of Fame
    Charter JI Member

    Join Date
    May 1999
    Location
    Atlanta via NJ
    Posts
    7,962
    Post Thanks / Like
    ... thanks stokes ...

    ... i appreciate your sharing that with us; as well as the tears and thoughts and memories it brought me ...


    God bless you and your family











    l_j_r

  17. #17
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Long Island
    Posts
    13,518
    Post Thanks / Like
    You're a good man, Stokes. Your kids are very lucky to have a father like you.

    My brother's wife passed a year and a half ago. I was hoping my brother would step up and be the kind of dad for his two sons that you seem to be for your kids. But unfortunately that hasn't happened. Those two kids (both are very young, 4 and 3 years old) pretty much lost both of their parents when their mother died, because their father is a bum.

    Sorry to hijack your thread, my friend. This stuff weighs heavily on me. It is probably the reason why I've been a bit nastier around here as of late.

    Have a few cold ones and be thankful for those kids of yours. They truly are gifts your wife left you.

  18. #18
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    5,656
    Post Thanks / Like
    Stay strong Stokes.

  19. #19
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    6,172
    Post Thanks / Like
    Condolences, Stokes.

  20. #20
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    May 2004
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    6,172
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=sourceworx;4236423]You're a good man, Stokes. Your kids are very lucky to have a father like you.

    My brother's wife passed a year and a half ago. I was hoping my brother would step up and be the kind of dad for his two sons that you seem to be for your kids. But unfortunately that hasn't happened. Those two kids (both are very young, 4 and 3 years old) pretty much lost both of their parents when their mother died, because their father is a bum.

    Sorry to hijack your thread, my friend. This stuff weighs heavily on me. It is probably the reason why I've been a bit nastier around here as of late.

    Have a few cold ones and be thankful for those kids of yours. They truly are gifts your wife left you.[/QUOTE]

    If your brother doesn't want to do the job why don't you offer to take the kids in? If he doesn't want to be away from them take them all in so you can be there for all of them.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us