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Thread: GFY, Lexus & Their 'December TO Remember'

  1. #1
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    GFY, Lexus & Their 'December TO Remember'

    I bring this up every year. I get sickened from this crap to my very core.

    I know I'm not the only one. SomethingAwful.com agrees.
    **** everything about Lexus

    [B]The Lexus December to Remember We're Poor and Miserable[/B]

    Friday, December 2, 2011 Update by [EMAIL="zackparsons@somethingawful.com"]Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons[/EMAIL]





    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/december.jpg[/IMG]
    If you're getting tired of the overbearing drumcirclers of the Occupy movement nothing brings you back around to their point of view quite like a steaming pile of one percenter consumerism. It serves as a reminder that, nope, not everyone is in this together. Some people are doing just fine. Finer, even. It's time for another "December to Remember Sales Event" from Lexus.

    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/lexusloft.jpg[/IMG]This month's festival of excess comes courtesy of the 2011 Lexus marketing campaign, running [I]ad nauseum[/I], which suggests the only way to create a "December to Remember" is to [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6sMZ-hiTOU"]play the Lexus theme song[/URL] and [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6sMZ-hiTOU"]tie a bow around a 60,000 dollar hybrid SUV[/URL] that you're giving to somebody for Christmas. I know you've seen these miserable things. They amount to either a terrible miscalculation about what Americans want shot out of their TVs at their faces or a sort of cocky, "deal with it" from Lexus about how ****ty our lives are.

    I understand that Lexus is a manufacturer of luxury automobiles and I don't begrudge them that. Certain people just need fancier cars to go to their fancy places fancier. If the commies had won the Cold War we'd all be waiting to get our chance for an unpainted Lada made out of tin with features like "front and one side window," "power headlight" and "full floor." At least this way a few hours of busking outside the train station and you can buy enough gasoline to drive your heated '89 Tercel to a different train station to busk, all so you can save up money to buy a Chinese hunk of crap and a couple video games about murdering robots for your ungrateful kids.

    [I]Merry Christmas[/I], everybody.

    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/lexuslady.jpg[/IMG]Meanwhile, the catalog models floating in the soft-white sugar plum loft apartments and gated enclaves of the one percent are tying a ribbon around a car and rigging up music boxes and making the elevator play the instantly forgettable Lexus theme song that we all supposedly know by heart. Everyone is smiling and happy and sheathed in sweaters. Golden holiday lights glow out of focus in the background of every shot. Children gather around wondering what mom is going to think when she gets a brand new luxury car.

    The music box plays the theme song and we know...YES...another luxury automobile is waiting in the driveway with a bow. Hooray.

    **** you, Lexus. Nobody can afford your cars right now. We'll be lucky if we can afford a picture of a Lexus to email to somebody. Did you not notice that the whole world is sliding into a slow economic apocalypse? This is the spin you put on it? Play a music box and light up the faces of little tots with the candy cane dream of a car with heated leather seats and seatback LCDs. I'm glad the hedge fund managers and investment bankers living in your fantasy scenario are throwing around the kind of dough it takes to roll a Lexus off the lot, but isn't there some channel just for rich people you can run these commercials on?

    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/house.jpg[/IMG]

    Look at that ridiculous setup. It looks like Michael Cain's house in [B]Children of Men[/B]. They're playing the Lexus song on [I]Guitar Hero[/I] in a frigging Frank Lloyd Wright house. Do you think people who live like this are sitting around watching Cartoon Network at 2 AM? They're skiing in Aspen at their private lodge or shopping at some specialty all-wood toy store buying a 1/2 scale T-rex skeleton made out of oak for a kid who will be a record producer at age fifteen.

    Here's an idea, Lexus: how about you sponsor Kudlow's daily Goldman Sachs ball tickler, slap a sticker on whatever pole Maria Bartoromo is grinding her stink on, and leave the other channels alone. That way the rest of us can wallow in the pacifying glow of singing competitions and vampire TV shows and we don't have to see your messed up alternate reality where people are happy and rich.

    The one percenters can have their Lexus champagne parties in the VIP and the rest of us can pretend it's okay that we're underwater on our mortgages and drowning under student loan debt and we'll be ****ing lucky if our parents' pensions aren't "renegotiated" to zero and we end up with them living with us for the next twenty years and driving the same car we had in college that makes a sound like a cat having its anal glands flushed out with a cleat because blah blah blah American Dream.

    It's not jealousy, it's that our misery is heightened by the ecstasy of the select few. It's a parade of excess in the midst of austerity. It's gross. You're gross, Lexus.

    Oh, and Lexus, while you're at it, tap the diamond people on the shoulder and let them know that one of their commercials features an adult man sharing a romantic moment with a teenage boy. I think it's for Zales/Peoples Jewellers. I don't know who green-lit that one, [URL="http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/creepyzalescommercial.jpg"]but it's also gross.[/URL] Take your Lexii and catamites and disappear back behind your mansion walls. It's not cool to throw garbage at us out here.

    We have train stations to busk.

  2. #2
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    The Jets are now the dirty unwashed OWS crowd of the NFL. Think about it. :mad:

  3. #3
    Put Christ back in Christmas.

  4. #4
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    LMAO at the Zales reference!

    But yes, I agree that this schlocky Lexus stuff needs to go. And does it really need to last into Little Christmas? COMMON!

  5. #5
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    And don't forget the "every kiss begins with Kay" jewelers, that is -- makes me want to vomit -- enough with the $699 bracelets

  6. #6
    Agreed, these comercials are detestable.

  7. #7
    I absolutely love the chick in this commercial. What a body and smile. As you are all turned off by the spots, I volunteer my services in servicing (orally and otherwise) the young lady.


    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBQApiFisbM[/url]

    EDIT: The friggin gifs on JI keep locking up my computer.
    Last edited by Borgoguy; 12-18-2011 at 08:08 PM.

  8. #8
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    [QUOTE=Borgoguy;4282252]I absolutely love the chick in this commercial. What a body and smile. As you are all turned off by the spots, I volunteer to services in servicing (orally and otherwise) the young lady.


    [URL]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBQApiFisbM[/URL][/QUOTE]


    I'm not saying I wouldn't bone the very last lot of them.... this way they can buy me a frickin car

  9. #9
    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4282271]I'm not saying I wouldn't bone the very last lot of them.... this way they can buy me a frickin car[/QUOTE]

    LOL. Check the amazing body on the Latina Mom in this one. Wow.

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCUIDNlcpHE[/url]

  10. #10
    Lexus is an overpriced Toyota.

  11. #11
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    This is one of those "I thought I was the only one who felt this way" moments. Glad to see I'm not. I instantly switch the t.v. to another channel whenever one of these hideously elitist commercials come on - same as last year.

  12. #12
    How about the one where she gets a ~$300 smart phone as a "joke gift" that then leads to the real gift.. a new lexus.

  13. #13
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    Next month, I have to get my wife a new muffler for her 2001 Ford Taurus. I like to think of it as a "January for the Ordinary".

  14. #14
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    [QUOTE=Polidore22;4283162]How about the one where she gets a ~$300 smart phone as a "joke gift" that then leads to the real gift.. a new lexus.[/QUOTE]


    ****ing One-Percenters...... :mad:

  15. #15
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    [QUOTE=JetPotato;4283212]Next month, I have to get my wife a new muffler for her 2001 Ford Taurus. I like to think of it as a "January for the Ordinary".[/QUOTE]

    If I see another commercial I'm going to go ape****....

    The headlines will read 'A December To Dismember'

    :mad:

  16. #16
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    So because you cant afford a Lexis, we are supposed to hate the commercial?

  17. #17
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    [QUOTE=Fishooked;4280243]I bring this up every year. I get sickened from this crap to my very core.

    I know I'm not the only one. SomethingAwful.com agrees.
    **** everything about Lexus

    [B]The Lexus December to Remember We're Poor and Miserable[/B]

    Friday, December 2, 2011 Update by [EMAIL="zackparsons@somethingawful.com"]Zack "Geist Editor" Parsons[/EMAIL]





    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/december.jpg[/IMG]
    If you're getting tired of the overbearing drumcirclers of the Occupy movement nothing brings you back around to their point of view quite like a steaming pile of one percenter consumerism. It serves as a reminder that, nope, not everyone is in this together. Some people are doing just fine. Finer, even. It's time for another "December to Remember Sales Event" from Lexus.

    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/lexusloft.jpg[/IMG]This month's festival of excess comes courtesy of the 2011 Lexus marketing campaign, running [I]ad nauseum[/I], which suggests the only way to create a "December to Remember" is to [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6sMZ-hiTOU"]play the Lexus theme song[/URL] and [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6sMZ-hiTOU"]tie a bow around a 60,000 dollar hybrid SUV[/URL] that you're giving to somebody for Christmas. I know you've seen these miserable things. They amount to either a terrible miscalculation about what Americans want shot out of their TVs at their faces or a sort of cocky, "deal with it" from Lexus about how ****ty our lives are.

    I understand that Lexus is a manufacturer of luxury automobiles and I don't begrudge them that. Certain people just need fancier cars to go to their fancy places fancier. If the commies had won the Cold War we'd all be waiting to get our chance for an unpainted Lada made out of tin with features like "front and one side window," "power headlight" and "full floor." At least this way a few hours of busking outside the train station and you can buy enough gasoline to drive your heated '89 Tercel to a different train station to busk, all so you can save up money to buy a Chinese hunk of crap and a couple video games about murdering robots for your ungrateful kids.

    [I]Merry Christmas[/I], everybody.

    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/lexuslady.jpg[/IMG]Meanwhile, the catalog models floating in the soft-white sugar plum loft apartments and gated enclaves of the one percent are tying a ribbon around a car and rigging up music boxes and making the elevator play the instantly forgettable Lexus theme song that we all supposedly know by heart. Everyone is smiling and happy and sheathed in sweaters. Golden holiday lights glow out of focus in the background of every shot. Children gather around wondering what mom is going to think when she gets a brand new luxury car.

    The music box plays the theme song and we know...YES...another luxury automobile is waiting in the driveway with a bow. Hooray.

    **** you, Lexus. Nobody can afford your cars right now. We'll be lucky if we can afford a picture of a Lexus to email to somebody. Did you not notice that the whole world is sliding into a slow economic apocalypse? This is the spin you put on it? Play a music box and light up the faces of little tots with the candy cane dream of a car with heated leather seats and seatback LCDs. I'm glad the hedge fund managers and investment bankers living in your fantasy scenario are throwing around the kind of dough it takes to roll a Lexus off the lot, but isn't there some channel just for rich people you can run these commercials on?

    [IMG]http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/house.jpg[/IMG]

    Look at that ridiculous setup. It looks like Michael Cain's house in [B]Children of Men[/B]. They're playing the Lexus song on [I]Guitar Hero[/I] in a frigging Frank Lloyd Wright house. Do you think people who live like this are sitting around watching Cartoon Network at 2 AM? They're skiing in Aspen at their private lodge or shopping at some specialty all-wood toy store buying a 1/2 scale T-rex skeleton made out of oak for a kid who will be a record producer at age fifteen.

    Here's an idea, Lexus: how about you sponsor Kudlow's daily Goldman Sachs ball tickler, slap a sticker on whatever pole Maria Bartoromo is grinding her stink on, and leave the other channels alone. That way the rest of us can wallow in the pacifying glow of singing competitions and vampire TV shows and we don't have to see your messed up alternate reality where people are happy and rich.

    The one percenters can have their Lexus champagne parties in the VIP and the rest of us can pretend it's okay that we're underwater on our mortgages and drowning under student loan debt and we'll be ****ing lucky if our parents' pensions aren't "renegotiated" to zero and we end up with them living with us for the next twenty years and driving the same car we had in college that makes a sound like a cat having its anal glands flushed out with a cleat because blah blah blah American Dream.

    It's not jealousy, it's that our misery is heightened by the ecstasy of the select few. It's a parade of excess in the midst of austerity. It's gross. You're gross, Lexus.

    Oh, and Lexus, while you're at it, tap the diamond people on the shoulder and let them know that one of their commercials features an adult man sharing a romantic moment with a teenage boy. I think it's for Zales/Peoples Jewellers. I don't know who green-lit that one, [URL="http://i.somethingawful.com/u/elpintogrande/dec11/creepyzalescommercial.jpg"]but it's also gross.[/URL] Take your Lexii and catamites and disappear back behind your mansion walls. It's not cool to throw garbage at us out here.

    We have train stations to busk.[/QUOTE]

    I can't stand this pretentious crap either. In fact I was watching the one with that dweeby ahole whose wife gets him the white car and all I kept saying is I just wish that clown was here right now so I can kick his loser a$$.

  18. #18
    [QUOTE=Joe W. Namath;4283229]So because you cant afford a Lexis, we are supposed to hate the commercial?[/QUOTE]

    It's Lexus and I think you are missing the point. No one is bashing BMW commercials.

  19. #19
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    The most offensive thing about this year's campaign is the whole assumption that that stupid jingle is so iconic that by just hearing the notes, the person becomes aware that they are getting a Lexus. I realize that is the cherry on top of the pretentious sundae, but it really is irritating to me.


    [QUOTE=Borgoguy;4282279]LOL. Check the amazing body on the Latina Mom in this one. Wow.

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xCUIDNlcpHE[/url][/QUOTE]


    This one bugs me the most. The chick is very cute but her reaction makes me want to throw the remote through the plasma.

  20. #20
    [QUOTE=Traitor Jay & the Woodies;4283272]

    This one bugs me the most. The chick is very cute but her reaction makes me want to throw the remote through the plasma.[/QUOTE]

    My wife goes ballistic every time these spots appear on TV, which is virtually non-stop. She hates that one in particular because of horrendous sound design. If you watch the end, the actress should inhale as she exclaims, "Huh". Instead, the editor has her exhaling.

    As for me, I find the commercials annoying, but am always immediately overtaken by the desire to "F" each of the three actresses I mentioned above, especially the one with the short hair.

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