Page 2 of 3 FirstFirst 123 LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 41

Thread: Dealing with Jehovah Witnesses

  1. #21
    Veteran
    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    Atkins, Arkansas
    Posts
    2,263
    Post Thanks / Like
    Had my girlfriend climb all over me while I spoke at the door, wearing a towel and saying that8 need saving... after all the liquor and untraditional sex i'd been having, I must have the Devil in me.
    Also answered once wearing boxer and a dog collar, leash attached, while blaring Izzy.
    Lived in Mo Valley, Ca. for 2 years in mid 90's and it was every Saturday morning. Never let one 'want' to come back so it was a different one every week. Sometimes i'd still be drunk so I would grab a bottle and just ad lib.

  2. #22
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    LI
    Posts
    20,272
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=John_0515;4350574]I
    Today, I answered the door wearing my gasmask as a codpiece and holding my wife's cat upside down by the tail.
    [/QUOTE]


    This, for the stubborn ones. :yes:

  3. #23
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Posts
    11,169
    Post Thanks / Like
    You people are weird I just start throwing water balloons.

  4. #24
    All League
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    It's all relative
    Posts
    3,443
    Post Thanks / Like
    At my old house, you can see from the front door right to the back porch. I had a party one day, and we got it going around noon. JWs come by around 3, and could see me get up from the boozeathon. I came out, hey how ya doin, etc. and after the pleasantries they say 'you ever hear of Jesus?' and I said 'yeah, I've heard the name. Want to come in for a drink and talk about hm?' They declined and never came back.

  5. #25
    All Pro
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Staten Island
    Posts
    9,878
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=Jets_Penguin;4350688]Actually I was going to say the same thing. My wife and I answered the door naked, held it open and invited them in. We told them we were nudists but wouldnt mind hearing their point of view. They politely said they would come back another time.......that was 12 years ago. :D[/QUOTE]

    Some poor bastard decided to spread the word while I was getting divorced facing legal issues and clearing out my house so I could give it over to the ex, in the middle of a 4 day alcohol binge from hell.

    Boxer shorts running shoes bottle of vodka and a plunger upon greeting my guest at the door at 930 am. Faint memories of me walking them down the driveway screaming who is your God vodka and plunger in tow, my neighbor Keith hosing down his driveway loving every minute of it. Keith was a rabid atheist lawyer. Good times

  6. #26
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Posts
    37,746
    Post Thanks / Like
    Door Knockers?

    Tell them you worship the Dark One, Lord of Darkness, Lucifer, and if they'd like to come in an exchange ideas, you'd be happy to have them....in your basement.

    :straitface:

    Odds are, they won;t come back....but new ones will eventually.

  7. #27
    All Pro
    Join Date
    Oct 2009
    Location
    Un-Pleasantville
    Posts
    6,431
    Post Thanks / Like
    This thread confirms my theory that devout folks are oddly drawn to scantily clad substance-abusing degenerates

  8. #28
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    26,236
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=Jungle Shift Jet;4351030]This thread confirms my theory that devout folks are oddly drawn to scantily clad substance-abusing degenerates[/QUOTE]

    Luke 17:21

    "The Kingdom of God is within you."

    Luke 17:23

    "Men will tell you, 'There he is!' or 'Here he is!' Do not go running off after them."

    I don't need anyone coming to my door repeatedly to get me to convert to a "religion" that will supposedly save me over another.

  9. #29
    Banned
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Long Island
    Posts
    13,518
    Post Thanks / Like
    Play this song, and dance like this when you answer the door. Problem solved.

    [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8[/URL]
    Last edited by Sourceworx; 01-29-2012 at 09:04 AM.

  10. #30
    Jets Insider VIP
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    14,776
    Post Thanks / Like
    The JW's hang in the Shop Rite parking lot and hand out their pamphlets.

  11. #31
    Practice Squad
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    471
    Post Thanks / Like

    geeee you would think..........

    [QUOTE=John_0515;4350574]I'm sorry, but I told this woman (Ellie), that I don't want to be saved. I have my own religion, and I don't want to insult hers. She keeps coming back to my house and ringing my doorbell saying that we can all be in Paradise together.

    Today, I answered the door wearing my gasmask and holding my wife's cat. I wanted to have fun with it since she didn't get the hint.

    I don't think she'll be back.

    Any stories from you guys related to this?[/QUOTE]

    any one coming back that many times to tell me something positive, i would applaud their perseverance.

  12. #32
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Location
    742 Evergreen Terrace
    Posts
    11,050
    Post Thanks / Like
    This is the reason I keep an anatomically-correct Jesus mannequin just inside the front door. Whenever those moonies come knocking, I rip open the Lord's shroud and start teabagging him. The soul solicitors go running.

  13. #33
    Board Moderator
    Jets Insider VIP
    JetsInsider.com Legend

    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Location
    The depths of Despair.
    Posts
    39,886
    Post Thanks / Like
    I dont believe any of these door answering stories.


    Not one.

    Except Jetsthings teabargin a dude.


    -

  14. #34
    All League
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3,564
    Post Thanks / Like
    Ask them. Why bother? Don't you guys already have your 144,000 that are going to heaven? Go home and relax.
    Last edited by srobjets; 01-29-2012 at 01:35 PM.

  15. #35
    Rookie
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The ZONE, Az
    Posts
    912
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=dustykeller;4350690]bahahaha! Way to raise the bar, my friend. And getting the wife involved deserves bonus points.

    My wife hates it when i answer the door in my drawers.....some of her work friends (chicks) showed up on my doorstep once, that was a little awkward....for them. :P[/QUOTE]

    and this was before I learned about "manscaping":P

  16. #36
    Rookie
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The ZONE, Az
    Posts
    912
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=AlwaysGreenAlwaysWhite;4350704]+1

    Although they may have stuck around if he wasnt there too :P[/QUOTE]

    Nah, it was two wrinkle old ladies and a 16 yr old.....lol ok so maybe We made the kids day

  17. #37
    All Pro
    Join Date
    May 2003
    Posts
    5,968
    Post Thanks / Like
    Seems like a lot of effort. The simple solution is a 75 lb German Shepherd standing behind you barking when you answer the door. It dissuades solicitors of all races, colors and creeds, whether they're selling you their God, encyclopedias, or lower energy rates.

  18. #38
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Posts
    5,656
    Post Thanks / Like
    Try 1 of these.

    [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/e0sc2x.jpg[/IMG]

  19. #39
    JetsInsider.com Legend
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Posts
    26,236
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=srobjets;4351316]Ask them. Why bother? Don't you guys already have your 144,000 that are going to heaven? Go home and relax.[/QUOTE]

    I actually did say that to her once, and asked her if she was a descendant of one of the twelve tribes of Canaan.

  20. #40
    Hall Of Fame
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    13,801
    Post Thanks / Like
    [QUOTE=sourceworx;4351077]Play this song, and dance like this when you answer the door. Problem solved.

    [URL="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NOErZuzZpS8[/URL][/QUOTE]
    I watched the same show on the history of shock rock.

    :D

    [url]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orNpH6iyokI[/url]

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  

Follow Us